Saturday, December 28, 2013

NEW BEGINNINGS: What are you REALLY willing to do?

'Tis the season for resolutions and proclamations of change for the new year. Personally, I find New Year's resolutions to be overrated and chock full of guilt for what you didn't accomplish in the previous year. Instead, I prefer to shift the way I look at change. I see it as embracing a new beginning. However, the birth of something new always requires the destruction of what was. Now, that is the part that sends us gripping on to the past for dear life; For we resist change even as we seek it. My question for you today is, what are you willing to give up in order to embrace a new beginning in your life?

First let's explore the idea of destruction as the impetus for creation. One of my favorite
figures in Egyptian mythology is the goddess named, Sekhmet. Sekhmet was a fierce goddess of war and great destruction. Her temper was uncontrollable and in a fierce rage she nearly destroyed all mankind, had it not been for Ra. Now, while Sekhmet was a fierce destroyer of enemies, she was also known as a great healer. All who feared Sekhmet also understood that upon her restoration of satisfaction, she would bring great celebration and joy. We see this kind of destruction before creation in just about every major religion. In Christianity the Big Bang theory is the most famous story of destruction to creation that we can see. But there are even more examples in the Bible and the Quran, such as the story of Job and others.

You might even have personal stories in your own life that demonstrate this point quite well. Think about the times where you had a very traumatic, or devastating, experience that turned out to transform your life into something more beautiful than you had ever imagined. It is not that you would have wished for the devastation, but sometimes that is the only way we will let go of what was. I can think of someone I know who had to face and battle cancer in her life. When she got her diagnosis, she was climbing the corporate ladder and had all the trimmings of success. Although, she was not really happy. Nevertheless, she was climbing the ladder of success because it was what she was "supposed" to do. When she got the news of cancer, it devastated her life. She fought this vicious disease and ultimately won. She survived and is cancer free. But this traumatic experience propelled her forward to a greater purpose. She started a nonprofit that has, quite possibly, saved hundreds of lives. She now travels the world and speaks on surviving and finding purpose in the pain. She is now saving lives and following her bliss.

Neither the story of Sekhmet, nor the one of my friend with cancer, has to be your gateway to a new beginning. You can be propelled there by a traumatic experience, or you can simply choose to destroy old beliefs, thoughts and patterns that are standing in the way of your new beginning. I am not suggesting this to be an easy task; If it were we would not need powerful stories like the one of Sekhmet and Job to remind us of this truth. To that end, I'd like to offer some tips to help you embrace a new beginning as you move forward into 2014. And if you are in a relationship, embracing change and growth as an individual is a wonderful gift to give your partnership. Relationships should not be stagnant, but rather should seek to grow and build on what is good.

  • Create a vision of what you desire: one of my favorite thought leaders is Anthony Robbins. He was the first to really help me grasp the idea of seeing what is next for me as a critical element to manifesting it. If you look at really famous and successful people, one of the common denominators in their story is how they could see themselves already there. The well known comedian, Jim Carrey, talks about writing a check for $1 million to himself and keeping it in his wallet. He would visualize himself cashing that check one day. And he did! There are many ways for you to develop your vision. You can do a vision board, write a story of your success in the present tense, or you can make it a daily meditation... Or if you are really ready to do something fantastic, try them all! Here is a great link for a step by step guide to creating vision board: How to Make a Vision Board
  • You must believe that your vision is possible: beliefs create thoughts and thoughts create things. If you want to really check out what you believe about yourself, simply look at your life. You might say you believe in wealth and maybe on some level you do. However, if your life is full of lack and limitation then there is a deep belief that must be shifted in order to create what you desire. There are some really dynamic thought leaders and authors who illuminate this principle really well: Lisa Nichols, Wayne Dyer and Iyanla Vanzant to name a few.  One of my favorite books on this subject is The Power of The Subconscious Mind, by Joseph Murphy.  OMG, it is my "manifesting new things" bible! I plan to be revisiting it this year as I embark on new beginnings for myself.
  • Fly with birds going in your direction: this is a fancy way of saying that you must share your vision of a new beginning with like-minded thinkers only. Not everyone is going to be able to cheer for you. Sometimes that may even include a romantic partner. It is okay. When you are charging ahead toward something new, it is an ever present reminder to some people of the things they are not accomplishing in their own lives. It is not that they do not wish you success. However, the mirror that you reflect to them can sometimes be too painful. Other times people will project their own fears onto you. These are the naysayers. The naysayers are uncomfortable with taking risks and doing anything new. After all in order to do something new you have to be willing to take a risk. Therefore, It is imperative that you find someone who is headed in the same direction, with the same intensity and passion, in order to fully share your vision. It is also important to remember not to linger with any animosity toward the naysayers. While their lack of encouragement feels personal, it actually has nothing to do with you. Waste no time on it, because what we focus on magnifies.

So, I will end this article in the same way that it started, with a question: what are you willing to destroy in order to create what you desire in your life? I encourage you to revisit
this article frequently as you create a plan for a new beginning. I will be claiming success for you. Revisit the tips as part of your action plan. Sometimes we have to behave our way to success. There is a saying in the 12 step program of recovery that "self-esteem is built by doing estimable acts, one at a time". Conversely, success is built by one successful action at a time. Once you create your vision, then set your goals, then take one action step every single day toward the success of your vision. Behave your way to change while you are shifting your belief system. I hope you come back to share your plans as well as updates of your success. I wish you great triumph as you embark on all of your new endeavors.

Nya akoma!

Imani Evans, MA

SharRon and I look forward to seeing you at the 2nd Annual Create Love Conference for Women Who Love Women!

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