Jackie Kennedy and Sandra Valls
from Los Angeles, California
How long have you been together? Both: We’ve been together for 11 years.
How did you get together/meet?
Jackie: We met at work back in 2002. Sandra had just moved to Los Angeles to pursue a comedy career and was also working as a greeter at a career college. I was the assistant director of admissions.
What was the initial attraction?
Sandra: I would see her walking to and from the elevator every day. She was always laughing and positive and beautiful and glowing and Wow! I would think, “I want a girlfriend just like her.” Jackie: I was attracted to her because she was so funny and she was very attentive. She really wanted to get to know me. She was very present and was a great listener.
What would you say is the key to the success of your relationship?
Jackie: There are many keys. We work hard to have open, honest, productive communication. We work at active listening. It’s an ongoing process. We share the same beliefs about spirituality and we are very spiritual. We put God first in our family. Sandra: We enjoy a healthy sex life and we aren’t afraid to express it. We are still very much attracted to each other. We have a lot of fun with each other and laugh a lot. We love to travel and are good travel buddies. Jackie: We love to sit at little cafes with each other and absorb each other like it’s the first time. Sandra: We practice forgiveness as best as we can. We respect each other and each other’s space. Jackie: We feel it’s very important to have a life of our own and pursue our own hobbies and interest as well as support the careers and interests of each other. We also have our “couple” circle of friends and our personal circle of friends. Sandra: And we don’t just love each other, we really like each other.
What do you most like about her? Jackie: I love Sandra’s heart. She has such a kind spirit. She’s very lovable, and also very loving. I like that she is passionate about everything. Being Latina, she has that fire – that life giving fire that makes everything “extra”. Whatever she does has “extra” on it. I. Sandra: I love that Jackie can twist anything and make it positive. No matter how bad the situation or how bad the person, she always finds the positive. I love how she treats people too. She is always kind no matter who you are. Also, I like how she takes care of herself and our family. She makes sure that we are comfortable and that we have what we need. Jackie: I also love that she’s a tomboy; I love that soft masculine energy. She’s also very protective and she protects my inner child, she protects my little girl. Sandra: I like that she’s always evolving and growing. And, I love that she always has my back. She’s a “ride or die” type of person. Jackie: I like that I can be myself. I don’t have to be in a box. I can be what the universe wants me to be. With Sandra, there are no limits. Sandra: I think that Jackie is sexy as hell. I love her sense of style. She’s a blessing.
Discuss how you deal with and face challenges that might come up in your relationship?
Jackie: We ask for a time out so we can come back and get some clarity before we sit down and discuss the issue. When you are really angry and upset, many times it is from things coming from other situations, and not the issue that you are currently dealing with. When you lash out, it is usually about other things that have not been addressed. So we make sure that we don’t let those other things interfere and having a time out for clarity helps. Sandra: We have different styles. I like to talk things through immediately because I hate to feel disconnected from her. I hate to feel alienated. And, I am also a fixer and I want to resolve everything. The only issue that we clash over is how we raise our kids. We grew up very differently but we are learning to work through that too. But whatever the issue is, we get through it.
What role does spirituality play in your relationship?
Both: It plays a major role in our lives. We both put God first and share the same beliefs. We pray regularly for ourselves and others.
What role does sensuality play in your relationship? Sandra: Sensuality is more than sexuality, and it comes naturally with us. Also, we make a conscious effort to notice each other. We notice the small things and we make sure that we say thank you. It is the “noticing” that keeps us connected. Jackie: It is important that we connect because when we don’t, we get out of alignment.
How do you keep the flames alive? Sandra: We are very attracted to each other because we’re constantly evolving - both individually and as a couple. We take time out to have fun with each other and stay connected. We both make it a priority to take care of ourselves as well as the couple (us). That’s very attractive to me.Jackie: I feel that we were born together in a different lifetime because I feel so connected to Sandra. We keep changing and growing together. We also keep loving each other through the good and bad times. That’s attractive to me.
Sandra: We make an effort to look good for each other. We like to dress up for each other. We also pay attention to each other. It is so easy to become complacent but we keep it fresh. Jackie: I am very sexual person and sex is very healing to me. Our sexual lives are very sacred because sex can be transformative. Sex is our birthright and we are totally uninhibited; we let ourselves go. I have to have sex because I give my body what it needs. Even with kids, we make time to enjoy each other. We have taken it (sex) to a different level; we dig deep into our goddess power.
Every relationship has relationship rules that support the union. What are you rules?
Jackie: Sandra is a night owl and I’m a morning person. I am a baby at night and she’s a baby in the morning. We respect our sleep personality! Our sleep is very important to us because sleep heals the body. Also, proper sleep helps us be productive so we make sure that we both get the proper rest. Another rule is that we must praise God and give thanks. That’s helps us manifest God in us. Sandra: Another rule is that we respect each other. Even when we are angry, we try not to raise our voices. And we never call each other names. We also respect each other styles when we are sick. For example, when I am sick I want to be doted on. But, she likes to be left alone. I had to learn that. Jackie: We respect when/how we work. We both work from home so we give each other respect so that we can focus. We don’t interrupt phone calls or demand attention from each other while we are working. Sandra: We share the chores. Jackie cooks and I clean. Many couples get in trouble because there is no balance. We make sure we share the responsibilities. And we talk about if we get out of balance. Jackie: Another rule is that we allow time for us to hang out with our friends. And, when we are with our friends, we don’t call each other a hundred times. We trust each other. Trust is first and foremost.
What advice would you give to other couples?
Both: Learn to like each other first. Love yourself and don’t forget about improving yourself. Find ways to keep it fresh and fun. Little signs of affection count a lot. Keep the sex alive. The more sex you have the more you want. Stay healthy and keep evolving with each other. Jackie: People need to get back to the basics. It is about loving yourself and about loving God – from that, your relationship will flow and flow in divine order. Sandra: I would recommend that you really get to know yourself – know what you need and what you don’t need. I can’t believe how much crap I put up in my former relationships. You have to know in your heart when someone is worth it and when they are worth fighting.
Both of you are in very public careers? How do you deal with the groupies and how do you handle your careers: Jackie: I like the groupies because they put food on the table. Lol. I say “thank you” to the groupies and I find it quite flattering. And, I never feel disrespected because they are really kind to me and I totally understand the business Also, I am very careful about what I do. When she is out, she represents me. And when I am out, I represent her. We always remember that we represent each other. And, I would never do anything that does not support her and us. Sandra: We don’t air our dirty laundry. I don’t make jokes about anything that she doesn’t approve of. I respect her that way. Most of all, we trust each other and we tell each other everything. For example, if a fan does something during or after a show, I tell her.
What has your relationship taught you most about yourself?
Jackie: I have learned that it is ok to be vulnerable and that has given me the ability to trust what I’m feeling in my gut. It’s taught me how to break down my walls and it also taught me that I don’t need to go from 5 to 150 in a matter of seconds…that I can stop, breathe, then respond and I will be heard.
Sandra: Jackie has taught me that I can achieve all my dreams…anything in the world is possible and within reach. It’s not that wasn’t aware of this before, I just didn’t fully believe it.
If you could thank her for 1 thing, what will that be? Sandra: I would thank her for making me feel alive again. With her, I have blossomed. Jackie: I would thank her for being a vessel for me and for letting me live my truth.
What one word best describes your relationship? Jackie: Dynamic – we are a dynamic couple. We are joyful, spiritual, evolving and loving. We have a fabulous circle of friends. We are creative spirits and we have a mission. Together, we can move mountains. Sandra: Blessing – I feel blessed. She is everything that I always wanted and more. She is everything that I deserve, everything that people dream of. If I don’t get another wish, she is enough for me. She’s the biggest gift, my gift.
You can also find and/or contact Jackie and Sandra at the websites listed below:
(Interview conducted and written by SharRon Jamison)
We thank you for sharing your love with us at Create Love! Your story will encourage, inspire and uplift other couples. We wish you continued success and happiness. www.createloveforwomen.com
Create Love -- Founders
Imani Evans and SharRon Jamison