tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75671958736043325572024-01-25T03:25:29.531-08:00CREATE LOVE!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03695264235687315562noreply@blogger.comBlogger175125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567195873604332557.post-33439153218049474822015-06-21T15:49:00.001-07:002015-06-24T09:05:46.656-07:00From The Heart of a Daddy's Girl<div class="MsoNormal">
Originally written for <a href="http://www.surviving2thriving.org/" target="_blank">Women Healing Women</a> it seemed most appropriate to share this article in a space that is driven by and for love. This is especially for all the adult daughters out there missing their Dads this Father's day. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><b>The Evans Family (L-R: Imani </b>(me)<b>, Montsho </b>(my brother)<b>, Renee Evans </b>(my mom),<b> and Rodell Evans </b>(my Dad)</i></td></tr>
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My dad and I were best buds growing up and remained so until his death in 1990. I certainly had a dichotomous relationship with my dad, who was the source of some of my pain as a child. However, my mind split the experience into tragedy and triumph in order to survive the pain and enjoy the part that worked. This is not uncommon for survivors and I am sure it will resonate for many of you.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My dad was super smart, well read and well-traveled. <b>He taught me to question everything and to always be able to defend my intellectual position.</b> He would engage me in debates, even when he agreed with me, just to ensure that I could effectively argue my point. Gosh, do I have some exes who would love to "thank" him for that one. LOL<o:p></o:p></div>
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I remember one day telling my dad that some boy said I was pretty. He looked at me with a very serious expression and said, "He's right. So what? Never be that impressed with that because you are so much more than <i>pretty</i> and he should admire you for all of it. Besides…boys will say anything to get what they want." And it was just understood that "what they wanted" meant sex. I appreciate my dad for that lesson because I have made everyone rise to that occasion because I internalized his words at age 13. It took me a while to bear fruit from that wisdom but the seed was planted right then.<br />
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<b><span style="color: #cc0000;">This is an example of why dads are so critical to girls. They help us develop self-esteem with a balance of our masculine and feminine energy.</span></b> Dads can leave a mark on his daughter's self-esteem that can carry her forward. He can help her turn inward for validation instead of looking for love in all the wrong places. </div>
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My dad was not perfect, but none of that changed that he was my dad. I loved him...flaws and all. The day he died in Newark Beth Israel Hospital, a piece of my innocence died too. I miss him to this day and will think of him, specifically, on Father's Day--Rodell Evans. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-size: large;"><b>What I miss about my dad:</b></span></div>
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<li>I miss being able to pick up the phone and share revelations about the mundane: Like an interestingly shaped tree, or something cool I learned about birds. My dad was fascinated with these things as much as I was...or least he pretended for my sake :-).</li>
<li>I miss celebrating big life events with him. When my dad was dying in the hospital I looked at him with all those tubes going into every orifice of his body and said, "Daddy, you gotta fight so that you can see my children when I have them." He looked at me with eyes of sadness and conviction; he slowly shook his head no--as if to apologize and answer me at the same time. I began to cry immediately because I knew he was tired and I had to accept his desire to stop struggling. My love had to be bigger than my selfishness to keep him with me.</li>
<li>I miss having a male honor my own sense of masculinity. We all embody the feminine and masculine principle. While my outward expression is without doubt feminine--which I love--I also enjoy my masculine side. My father appreciated that in me and didn't seek to make my "girlness" about ponytails and cooking classes. I loved that about him.</li>
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<b><span style="color: #351c75; font-size: large;">What I learned from my dad:</span></b></div>
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<li>I learned that my intellect is as much my <i>shine</i> as is anything about my physical. </li>
<li>I learned that learning should not be driven by the need for a degree or a credential, but rather it must be driven by the thirst for knowledge as a personal achievement.</li>
<li>I learned that to have friends all I need to do is focus on being a good friend.</li>
<li>I learned that no matter how many years pass, I will always miss my daddy and that my life has to find a new normal. </li>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">To all the Dads out there--- make no mistake that your daughter needs you!</span></b></div>
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<i><b>"Studies show that dads give girls 90% of their self-esteem before the age of 12, she says."What this means is that girls that grow up without a dad in the home, or one who abandoned them, are always going to be a little bit less confident and sure of themselves than peers who grow up with a dad in the home." <a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?f=001vK63Ih_lEGElVS2v4HSgn4jpXIYd0W1fy-vaolX_D9TcZSWYKT6OLbyfCSFCGenHFL-UmEDPB16CDRjfuSxj7zr1GDvCPtwTCztartRAnuz3NuhL5-tEiiiH3ta947hP4q8hMWtUuaNx8sOw_7UjhSxEWnERzi-sbQq3oMg-ROos2PajBf1iGpdFz-ZOlS6NqyX1fn9SUgq8b1RD2VBa50kw1v4DPNDFQn5zzhnTE13Rj0mBLOfKRg==&c=2PSKRnqRCbiNq3qnqgy2BCeIuoRV2FflvOhT0psonqzwACD4MX-Z2w==&ch=LVfd5Tx0Eh1JuvDqV-i7CRJ0S7hWe2IqdW4O0e4ELGtNruNqqDJfTw==" target="_blank">National Parents Organization</a></b></i></blockquote>
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Happy Father's day to all the men and women who have stepped into the role of Father for you child/children. Whether you are an uncle, step dad, family friend or mentor. You will never truly know how important you have been. However, I thank you and honor you today and forever!</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03695264235687315562noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567195873604332557.post-18221416542950570692015-06-15T00:30:00.002-07:002015-06-15T00:30:08.354-07:00Action Changes Things!<div style="color: #333333; font-family: helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 23.39px;">
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Have you ever felt as if you were stuck in a rut? I have. There have been times in my life when I have felt stuck, cemented and confined by people, policies, places and positions. A few times I felt so emotionally trapped by routines, responsibilities and relationships that I stopped growing, learning, loving and living. I was emotionally, intellectually, socially and spiritually sinking, and I was sinking fast.</div>
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Thankfully some wonderful coaches and counselors helped me change the trajectory of my life and now almost 25 years later, I have learned a few things. I have learned that self-reflection is the first step to personal transformation. Yes, I learned that I had to learn more about me. I learned that I had to learn who I was devoid of expectations, fears, traditions, norms and facades. I had to discover who I was outside of what everybody else wanted me to be. Trust me, that was difficult; it required peeling back layers of my personality that I never knew existed.</div>
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For me, self-reflection was a painstaking process because I had to take off the masks and remove my disguises; I could no longer hide. I also had to stop acting, and the funny thing was -- I didn’t know that I was even acting. I thought my beliefs and behavior were self-directed; I soon realized that they were not. I realized that my beliefs and behavior were influenced by whole lot of people who didn’t know me, care about, support me or even like me. Yikes! What a wake-up call!</div>
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During my self-discovery journey, I was forced to analyze my history to identify patterns, themes and the orgins of my bad behavior. I had to understand why I sabotaged my success, happiness, relationships and health. I was forced to evaluate my perspectives and define my truth, and honestly 25 years ago, I didn’t know I even had a truth. Imagine that.</div>
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I am not alone; many people are and have been in the same boat. Many people today are struggling or have struggled to understand themselves. Some, like I did, have and continue to struggle to find their purpose, accept their calling or even understand the need for transformation. Most successful people I know have been to <span style="color: green; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;"><em style="color: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;"><strong style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">THE</strong> </em></span>place, the place of truth that helped them jump-start their journeys of personal transformation. I call THAT place <strong style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">“Blessings at the Bottom” (Chapter 39 in I<u style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;"> Have Learned A Few Things</u>).</strong></div>
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Yes, most of us have been to that the scary, unfamiliar and agonizing place that demanded that we become more self-aware. I am sure that we all can agree that <strong style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;"><em style="color: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;"><span style="color: green; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">THE</span> </em></strong>place is a challenging place but it is also an exciting place. It is a place of great promise, great purpose, great clarity and of great relief. During THAT place, we were forced to look closer, deeper and broader at the choices that we made or honestly consider the choices that we were failing to make. We removed our defenses and we became emotionally transparent to ourselves; we didn’t hide from our histories, failures, mistakes and secrets. We became self-aware and as result, we were ready to embark on our new journeys, our journeys of personal transformation.</div>
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As we learned in the previous post, self-<span style="color: red; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;"><strong style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">AWARENESS</strong> </span>is the first step toward personal transformation. After you conduct a full life inventory and commit to continuous self-discovery, the second step on the road to personal transformation is <span style="color: red; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;"><strong style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">ACTION</strong></span>. Yes, ACTION! If you want a different life, you must make changes; you must do something and many times, do a lot of “somethings” differently. As we say in the South, “you just can’t talk about it, you got to be about it”.</div>
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But even though we know we must do something, it is the “doing” that scares us the most. It is the “doing” that keeps up stuck, stagnant and stale in our lives. It is the “doing” that seems insurmountable, unfathomable and just down right undoable. It is the “doing” that reveals our fears, unravels our resolve and makes us abandon our dreams. It is the “doing” that frequently stops us or makes us settle for relationships that are unfulfilling, jobs that are underpaying and lives that are unsatisfying. The “doing”, the failure to take action, is what limits our successes and negates our future.</div>
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So how do we address the “doing” so that it feels doable? I don’t know all of the answers but I have a few thoughts.</div>
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<li style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">Get clear about what you want and who you want to be; determine your compelling <span style="color: red; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;"><strong style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">WHY</strong></span>. Your <span style="color: red; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;"><strong style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">WHY</strong> </span>will create your vision, and your vision will guide and direct you. For example, when I started my healing journey, my <span style="color: red; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;"><strong style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">WHY</strong> </span>was that I no longer wanted to feel yucky inside. I was tired of feeling small, silent, suffocated and sidetracked. My <span style="color: red; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;"><strong style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">WHY</strong></span> was not elaborate or deep; it was just honest. More importantly, at the time that was all I could articulate but it was a great start. What’s your <span style="color: red; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;"><strong style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">WHY</strong></span>?</li>
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<li style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">Identify the resources that you already have and identify what you are already know. When I started my personal transformation, I knew that I had some money and I knew that I needed therapy. I knew that my prolonged feelings of malaise and sadness were not normal. I didn’t know too much more than that but knowing those few things was critical to me moving forward in my life. So what do you already have and what do you already know?</li>
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<li style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">Take a step, make a call, start a class, join a group or find support. I would say read a book but I have learned that reading books in isolation is never enough for sustained growth. Books provide concepts but an activity, practice or coaching provides the application. And to make the changes that you want in your life, you need both concepts and application. Just think about. You can read a book about swimming all day long but until you jump in the pool do you know if you can really swim? The same principle applies when learning new life skills. So, what are you doing to use, practice, apply or implement the knowledge that you are learning?</li>
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<li style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">Don’t worry about understanding <strong style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;"><u style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">all</u></strong> the details. You may never know all of the details before you start a business, pursue your dreams or embark on a healing journey. Learn as much as you can and get started. No, don’t be reckless or careless; be calculating, prudent and analytical. But after you obtain as much information as you can, MOVE, DO, GO, BE, and TRY! Take action…..bold action. As you take a few steps toward your goals, more information, resources and support will show up. Trust me…I have been there.</li>
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<li style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">Only focus on 3 – 5, preferably only 3, things that you want to improve or change at one time. Some coaches may disagree with me on this. However, from working with all types of clients, I have learned that personal transformation is challenging, and trying to do too much at once often becomes overwhelming. And what do overwhelmed people routinely do? They procrastinate or they QUIT! So, honor yourself. Organize your life and focus on a few things so you don’t fall out, fall down and fall asleep. Trust me, it happens.</li>
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<li style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">Remember that success is a process, and sometimes a messy process. This weekend one of my mentors said something that resonated in my spirit. He said that “sloppy success is better than perfect mediocrity”. Wow…as we say in the Christian faith - that was an on-time word. That phrase freed me! I now feel more creative, more committed and more courageous to pursue my own dreams. That little phrase empowered and embolden me to <strong style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;"><span style="color: blue; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">Soar Higher!</span></strong></li>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCVD3MtA3nJbS-pw3MNbDHksrH6hwgxSm1eAQ6_dqkQe0Uwo1qTLeZ7EGXVH5bV8xnL9vc5-h_jrhC6HJFS1c9MtSlqoUptfiG5v-7lpZAiG2rhHCQ0vIc_a5Xh0bH2o2Vv1HU2rD70Qcv/s1600/action.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCVD3MtA3nJbS-pw3MNbDHksrH6hwgxSm1eAQ6_dqkQe0Uwo1qTLeZ7EGXVH5bV8xnL9vc5-h_jrhC6HJFS1c9MtSlqoUptfiG5v-7lpZAiG2rhHCQ0vIc_a5Xh0bH2o2Vv1HU2rD70Qcv/s320/action.png" style="cursor: move;" unselectable="on" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 23.39px;">I encourage you to take </span><strong style="color: inherit; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;"><span style="color: red; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">Action</span></strong><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 23.39px;">! Never forget that motion motivates, activates and elevates. So get started because today is the first day of the rest of your life. And, don’t forget to get some support on your journey. If you need coaching or assistance, please feel free to call the Jamison Group. We would love to provide you with support and guidance as you embark on your new life.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial,sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 23.39px;"><br /></span>
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</span>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 23.39px;">Always remember to</span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;"><strong style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;"> DARE to SOAR</strong></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 23.39px;"> </span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;"><strong style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">HIGHER </strong></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 23.39px;">because You are ALWAYS worth your best!</span></div>
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<div style="color: #333333; font-family: helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 23.39px;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial,sans-serif;"><em style="color: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">(Reprinted from my upcoming book, <strong style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;"><u style="color: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 23.39px;">I Have Learned A Few Things About Success</u></strong>)</em></span><br />
</div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">
If you are interested in being added to my mailing list, please click <a href="http://sharronjamison.com/" target="_blank">HERE</a>. We would love to connect with you.</span><br />
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 23.39px;">
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Blessings,</span></div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">
<b><span style="font-size: 20pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">SharRon Jamison, MBA</span></span></b><br />
<span style="font-size: 18pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">The Jamison Group LLC</span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"></span><span style="font-size: 18pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">Life Coach, Author, Inspirational Speaker</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 18pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://www.sharronjamison.com/" target="_blank">www.SharRonJamison.com</a></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 18pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://www.ihavelearnedafewthings.com/" target="_blank">www.IHaveLearnedAFewThings.com</a></span></span></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial,sans-serif;"><span style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-size: medium;"><img height="37" src="https://docs.google.com/uc?export=download&id=0B19lF4hHMQkYRjVmYkRmdEY5OWs&revid=0B19lF4hHMQkYOE80SHB1QmUxZThzU015aTFLdkRLeGtVcG9rPQ" style="height: 38px; width: 203px;" width="200" /></span></span></span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10130464382565256380noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567195873604332557.post-69577271874030943572015-06-06T06:50:00.002-07:002015-06-08T05:51:10.737-07:00Happy Couple Highlights: Faloune and Gerri-Lynn Smith<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAUi9MwaZ4kynvPJ3_ITxOofqXTAZYYQDa6VZ9j97SkRNsQNYzPQ7kAWtcgdRYH3CpyUX0B2e0Wxr-UjLNAzNeqYWLP9oPwsGcGepytZrZv67JLHR5LZWRR61Cf3FMMaOMhLdUofJBGZ0P/s1600/Wedding+Of+The+Year+979-1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAUi9MwaZ4kynvPJ3_ITxOofqXTAZYYQDa6VZ9j97SkRNsQNYzPQ7kAWtcgdRYH3CpyUX0B2e0Wxr-UjLNAzNeqYWLP9oPwsGcGepytZrZv67JLHR5LZWRR61Cf3FMMaOMhLdUofJBGZ0P/s400/Wedding+Of+The+Year+979-1.png" width="357" /></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><strong>Faloune </strong><strong>& </strong><strong>Gerri-Lynn </strong></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong>Smith</strong></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><em><strong>Atlanta, Ga.</strong></em></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Congratulations, I am always
fascinated by how relationships start. So, where did you meet and what were the
initial attractions? </span></b><span style="line-height: 107%;">We
met through a mutual friend and….<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #0070c0;">GerriLynn</span>: The first
thing I noticed was her almond shaped brown eyes.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #0070c0;">Faloune</span>: I noticed her
beautiful smile and to this day it is one of the things I love about her.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">You have been
together for years. First, Congratulations. What advice would you give to other
couples and why? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b><span style="color: #0070c0;">Both</span>: There is no "I quit", no matter
how hard/bumpy/unpleasant/uncomfortable the road may get; it’s you and her
together... Figure it out. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stay in the
present, and make time for one another,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqnf_4RcAsAw6OQg4PmPxC_kEe-MAand-5w3DMkH7EMOiQnRQwR1gvDxMdU6cqBrUzUgLvgoJvaexA-iLL5vj0IIwfEa9jPk3noPA_r8iNU8wgeQzvfxvEPhwFcDsVgAVP3P-SZZD9glCX/s1600/2015-06-06_9-07-04.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqnf_4RcAsAw6OQg4PmPxC_kEe-MAand-5w3DMkH7EMOiQnRQwR1gvDxMdU6cqBrUzUgLvgoJvaexA-iLL5vj0IIwfEa9jPk3noPA_r8iNU8wgeQzvfxvEPhwFcDsVgAVP3P-SZZD9glCX/s320/2015-06-06_9-07-04.png" width="275" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What made you know
that it was time to get married and how will being married change your
relationship? </b><span style="color: #0070c0;">Both</span>: For us, our wedding
ceremony was an outward declaration to the world of our love and commitment to
each other, and to finally join our families and have them witness our love solidified.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Getting together
is easy. Staying together is difficult. You have weathered many transitions and
storms? How did you manage and what was the hardest part? <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #0070c0;">Both</span>: Pray together,
know when to call a time-out and revisit the subject at a later time. The
hardest part is being interested in things that don't interest me naturally,
but liking them and eventually loving them too because she loves them and I
love her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">How do you deal with and face
challenges (family acceptance, money differences, etc.) that might come up in
your relationship? </span></b><span style="color: #0070c0; line-height: 107%;">Both</span><span style="line-height: 107%;">: We
talk/write them out and come to a mutual agreement-- together.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">I know faith is important to both of
you. How do you practice your faith as a couple and what role does spirituality
play in your relationship? </span></b><span style="color: #0070c0; line-height: 107%;">Both</span><span style="line-height: 107%;">:
Faith is a huge part of our relationship. We were baptized together on Easter
Sunday 2007, and we walk our spiritual journey together. We listen to spiritual
messages on our daily commute to work in order to ensure that we are
spiritually armed and ready to face any challenges that the day may bring.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">After so many years, how do you keep
the fires burning? What role does sensuality play in your relationship? </span></b><span style="color: #0070c0; line-height: 107%;">Both</span><span style="line-height: 107%;">: We make sure we have set date
nights and always have an activity planned that pertains to quality time and a
common interest for us.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Every relationship develops
relationship "rules” that support your union? What are your spoken and
unspoken rules? And how did those rules form? </span></b><span style="color: #0070c0; line-height: 107%;">Both</span><span style="line-height: 107%;">: Absolutely NO going to bed hungry or
mad ‐‐‐ one leads to the other. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDW6kT3VPzs5dm_G_sJ_OANr3walkp7tQJeAabcCOkErmad3Vnsj9qY9EDLUD9sjKG6RmgBHB7bdivx7vmgmJKLX1EF1eH_6J-8C3fLrUX-pzYioX8Wq3th2x7vlVZTGoRz0Ha1U-t-T9y/s1600/14+-+1-1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDW6kT3VPzs5dm_G_sJ_OANr3walkp7tQJeAabcCOkErmad3Vnsj9qY9EDLUD9sjKG6RmgBHB7bdivx7vmgmJKLX1EF1eH_6J-8C3fLrUX-pzYioX8Wq3th2x7vlVZTGoRz0Ha1U-t-T9y/s320/14+-+1-1.png" width="320" /></span></a><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No silent
treatments -- use your words. Take a moment but use your words. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No
disrespectful, "slang" talk; we are NOT "home girls.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Always say
"I love you" before parting; you might not get the chance to do so
again.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They (rules)
just naturally formed the more we grew into our individual selves and our
relationship. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Every relationship challenges us in
different way. What did you have to learn and un¬ learn to love her fully? </span></b><span style="color: #0070c0; line-height: 107%;">GerriLynn</span><span style="line-height: 107%;">: I had to learn that I am not the
most important person in the world. <span style="color: #0070c0;">Faloune</span>:
I had to learn that it is not always about who is right, it is about being
respectful and honoring my love for her.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #0070c0; line-height: 107%;">GerriLynn</span><span style="line-height: 107%;">: To unlearn -- not to belittle and
disrespect her when I get angry or if my feelings are hurt. <span style="color: #0070c0;">Faloune</span>: To unlearn -- not to be afraid of her
love and that it is in fact genuine, she won’t hurt me.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8Wnzm7hzWxg9Wz5p68FtCo-hyJ8-a-6epklZeOeVNUIrea9sX3jPpfCjzHWypFN5YUYf3CMp-qJPdrvF-HJ9ir7m7RVvIlyrzX35xNTZU9TAHUklKqoL6HAbFsEzOSJ0IyQNmY86ydpq5/s1600/2015-06-06_9-26-49.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8Wnzm7hzWxg9Wz5p68FtCo-hyJ8-a-6epklZeOeVNUIrea9sX3jPpfCjzHWypFN5YUYf3CMp-qJPdrvF-HJ9ir7m7RVvIlyrzX35xNTZU9TAHUklKqoL6HAbFsEzOSJ0IyQNmY86ydpq5/s320/2015-06-06_9-26-49.png" width="152" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">What has your relationship taught you
most about yourself?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And her?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><span style="color: #0070c0; line-height: 107%;">GerriLynn</span><span style="line-height: 107%;">: That I deserve to have a love like this and she makes me
love her more and more each day. <span style="color: #0070c0;">Faloune</span>:
That with God and her support I can do ANYTHING.... she is the very best person
I know and I am blessed to have her as a friend, lover, comedian and wife.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">What 1 word most captures her essence
and your love? </span></b><span style="color: #0070c0; line-height: 107%;">Faloune</span><span style="line-height: 107%;">:
Everlasting. <span style="color: #0070c0;">GerriLynn</span>: Unwavering.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">It was such an honor officiating your
wedding. When you think of your wedding day, what will you remember the most? </span></b><span style="color: #0070c0; line-height: 107%;">Both</span><span style="line-height: 107%;">: The moment that I saw her as I
walked down the aisle and our eyes met and time stopped... we only saw each
other.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">What will be your legacy as a couple?
</span></b><span style="color: #00b0f0; line-height: 107%;">Both</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">: </span></b><span style="line-height: 107%;">Love hard,
laugh harder, and take care of each other and God will take care of you both.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8a3KLgDsHZVWXLZkxcTBlh7MLvHoVj2E78_6s3DMHq6dqhimGRsdh2rLRNr4iQ1KY8KMFnNKugHQjWZhIG1Zsinr92HrQh6FMa7ii2PySJWfI9EXdRf3-XIWZdctMl_FW_T78usYdSkLn/s320/Rose+Bloom+II.gif" width="320" /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We thank you for sharing your love with us at </span><a href="http://www.createloveforwomen.com/"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Create Love</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">! Your story will encourage, inspire and uplift other couples. We wish you continued success and happiness.</span><a href="http://www.createloveforwomen.com/"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.createloveforwomen.com</span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Create Love Founders</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Imani Evans and SharRon Jamison</span></div>
</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmdVm-andE4MOwPgDbYKxa_1l351GHssRz-3zG3QoDP6X-ejkD-kWvzI4vTjH6QU4_GrA3JC9bZjrx7_1KOZaNN0dTvBYf5e7aPanp98uoIlRhxNKCkR5VLtpgFWcm0EKVWWg7A4Q1lkKc/s1600/UBack.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmdVm-andE4MOwPgDbYKxa_1l351GHssRz-3zG3QoDP6X-ejkD-kWvzI4vTjH6QU4_GrA3JC9bZjrx7_1KOZaNN0dTvBYf5e7aPanp98uoIlRhxNKCkR5VLtpgFWcm0EKVWWg7A4Q1lkKc/s1600/UBack.png" height="148" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Have you ever
thought about what’s really holding you back in your life? No, really. Have you
thought about why you continue to stay in a joyless, sexless and unfulfilling
relationship? Or, why you continue to work an unrewarding, unsatisfying and
low-paying job? Or, why you continue to associate with people who have low
goals, no goals or no guts? Or, why you participate in organizations that
demonize, disappoint or degrade you and others? Or, why you associate with
people who are envious of you and secretly covet your life? Have you truly
thought about those things?</span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfjrFnCsxHzKY299-Th6N7szPhSBAPe4HsPClTdVIEJMTI9j6TUyiopgJiRa4hNROsh4Gbr5IGgwuOy6MvUwKRCb5ubCEujOCEQpBCJc5GGgLcFPCjAOaYgCktRYESEhv0opE6yHolxOHs/s1600/2015-05-02_18-46-40.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfjrFnCsxHzKY299-Th6N7szPhSBAPe4HsPClTdVIEJMTI9j6TUyiopgJiRa4hNROsh4Gbr5IGgwuOy6MvUwKRCb5ubCEujOCEQpBCJc5GGgLcFPCjAOaYgCktRYESEhv0opE6yHolxOHs/s1600/2015-05-02_18-46-40.png" height="190" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">To be honest, I
really did not consider those questions myself until one day I woke up and
realized that I was lost. I woke up and found myself confused about my career,
puzzled about my purpose, baffled by my relationship, mystified by my faith and
confounded by the choices that I was <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">FAILING</b>
to make. Yes, I was shocked when I realized that I was not making decisions at
all; I was just letting life happen. I was not choosing anything; I was
settling for whatever and whomever came in my life. And boy, did I settle. I
sold myself short personally and professionally.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">But thankfully,
I have learned that living and creating a fulfilling life required that I make
decisions. Yes, living a satisfying life required me to participate fully in
the life process even when I didn’t feel equipped, qualified or confident
enough to make informed choices. Even when I didn’t want to or feel up to it, I
learned that I had to be the leader, director, and organizer of my life; I had
to be the boss of me. Prepared or not, I learned that I had to guide, manage
and love myself enough to make decisions that helped me<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>SOAR.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfuIRv78uNpT1NAm5qUOnagKj2hhM7qHKYNszQqgrwMXS3aCIvCRFHytolKSrL3S6dIbIXt5HieDJIhTmn_OWHFTLio6B0vrw2u-LAbYl3PBXvahg7Aab9lAEWiDnuCZaO7G_tZAY1EWoy/s1600/know+thyself.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfuIRv78uNpT1NAm5qUOnagKj2hhM7qHKYNszQqgrwMXS3aCIvCRFHytolKSrL3S6dIbIXt5HieDJIhTmn_OWHFTLio6B0vrw2u-LAbYl3PBXvahg7Aab9lAEWiDnuCZaO7G_tZAY1EWoy/s1600/know+thyself.png" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Those decisions
are not always easy and sometimes the options are less than desirable. But
being the boss is not always easy and not making a decision is really a
decision too. Something to consider right?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">My clients
often ask me the same question, “How do I become the boss of me?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a simple question, but simple questions
rarely have simple answers. But here is what I offer.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I first tell my
clients, who I call my teachers, to become AWARE. I encourage them to be become
AWARE of what moves them, soothes them, angers them, motivates them, stresses
them, relieves them, inspires them, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I advise them to conduct a monthly and sometimes a weekly self-inventory
to learn what makes them tick, sick and stick. I encourage them to find out
what makes them uncomfortable and then fully explore that discomfort. I hope I
inspire them to learn what brings them peace, growth and liberation so that
they can “live” in that space for the rest of their lives. Finally, I encourage
them to get quiet and still so that they can hear the whispers from their souls
because that is where our truth lies.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Becoming aware
and staying aware won’t be easy, especially with all of their distractions that
vie for our attention and challenge our minds. But I implore you to try. Try to
be become more AWARE of the amazing person you already are, and try to stay committed
to growing into the more amazing person you hope to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because once you become aware, you will
better appreciate who you are, recognize your full potential, discern what’s
good and who is good for your spirit, and transform your life into greater abundance.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Awareness is
the first step.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look forwarding to
sharing the other 4 steps in the coming weeks. So stay tuned.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I wish you
success on your journey to greater AWARENESS. You can do it! I know you can. We
are on this journey together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">If you are
interested in working with me to gain more self AWARNESS, please contact me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am always here to support and serve you!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Blessings to
you always!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Blessings! </span></div>
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<o:p></o:p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">SharRon Jamison</span> </span><br />
<a href="http://www.sharronjamison.com/"><span style="color: #a13da5; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.sharronjamison.com</span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.ihavelearnedafewthings.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #008216; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.IHaveLearnedafewthings.com</span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.icandependonme-sharronjamison.com/"><span style="color: #a13da5; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.icandependonme-sharronjamison.com</span></a><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10130464382565256380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567195873604332557.post-5326852925284386882015-04-15T17:22:00.002-07:002015-04-15T20:49:39.634-07:00Happy Couple Highlights: Dakerri and Sondra<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikTyumV5ptMCiTFmRf_U8-BM9hG6mghNwIPnrneOsAmhLyxREVQVbxgci53CrvRaDwD4ogYwjtwNx1ctv1lEPwNMyZHy5T45NiV7VAzSyQnh8tzklhuwhXCx8GveuZ-_FtEy92yc2bQ-WF/s1600/IMG_3829.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikTyumV5ptMCiTFmRf_U8-BM9hG6mghNwIPnrneOsAmhLyxREVQVbxgci53CrvRaDwD4ogYwjtwNx1ctv1lEPwNMyZHy5T45NiV7VAzSyQnh8tzklhuwhXCx8GveuZ-_FtEy92yc2bQ-WF/s1600/IMG_3829.png" height="398" width="400" /></a><br />
<div style="display: inline !important;">
<strong><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Dakerri </span></span><span style="font-size: x-large;">& </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">Sondra</span></strong></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><strong>Barber-Rhone</strong></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Nashville, Tn.</span></em></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"></span></b> </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">How long have you been
together<span style="color: #7030a0;">? Dakerri<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>& Sondra</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">:
We’ve been together since March 7, 2003.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We were married in Washington DC on September 14, 2012.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"></span></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Congrats! Tell me, how did
you get together/meet? <span style="color: #7030a0;">Dakerri & Sondra:</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"> It seems strange to us now, but we
actually met online.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We met on a website
called collegeclub.com which isn’t even in existence anymore, but back then it
was the place to be for college students. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"></span></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">When you met her, what was
the initial attraction?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #7030a0;">Dakerri</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">:
I hadn’t seen any pictures prior to meeting Sondra so I didn’t know what I was
getting myself into or what to expect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’d never dated a “soft-stud” before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>From our phone conversations she didn’t sound like what I was used to
hearing from studs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has an
ultra-feminine, very sexy voice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we
did meet I was instantly attracted to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She was beautiful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had all
the “swagger” of a stud, but embraced her femininity as well. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"></span></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Sondra</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: I have a running joke about me being”catfished”
by her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For those unfamiliar with the
show Catfish, it’s about online dating and one of the parties fibs about who
they are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dakerri scanned her high
school senior picture where her complexion was much darker due to it being
taken in the summer months and she was wearing her natural hair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we agreed to meet up at a gas station
close to my college, there stood this lighter complexion woman with long hair
smiling this big beautiful yet warming smile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>At first I was unsure if she was the girl from the picture, but I
eventually realized that I was staring at my future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In other words, I was very attracted to her;
even more so in person. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"></span></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">***Interviewer
Moment</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: I just loved
how you said that you were staring at your future…. </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><b>12 years is a long time,
espcailly since you started so young. What would you say is the key to the
success of your relationship?</b> <span style="color: #7030a0;"><b>Dakerri</b></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><b>:</b> Compromise/Consideration – We take the
other into consideration with anything that we do or say. <b><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Sondra</span></span>:</b> I agree with Dakerri and
also say communication and trust.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No
relationship can withstand without that. </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Over
the years, how have you learned to deal with adversity? How do you deal with
and face challenges that might come up in your relationship?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Sondra</span></b>: Honestly I take challenges as they
arise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe in taking things day by
day and work them out thoughtfully when they occur. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Dakerri</span></b>: We keep our personal
business between just us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We keep open
communication and try to think outside our “box” to understand why the other
feels the way they do. </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi19p3EqtRw8oViZEVhf5YDkNSJ-IqIC8R0nIIzc1j7KjfoG7o7ioF62gEJc3purRhuUdwaYTxHKMzd1H35rbuC3bZI2HWG2W2qEiI9Jo3DREer8OBIZmA9R_PRE7wIqG_I-AbujL9uXYQW/s1600/IMG_3832.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi19p3EqtRw8oViZEVhf5YDkNSJ-IqIC8R0nIIzc1j7KjfoG7o7ioF62gEJc3purRhuUdwaYTxHKMzd1H35rbuC3bZI2HWG2W2qEiI9Jo3DREer8OBIZmA9R_PRE7wIqG_I-AbujL9uXYQW/s1600/IMG_3832.png" height="320" width="228" /></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"></span></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">What role does
spirituality play in your relationship? <span style="color: #7030a0;">Dakerri</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: I was baptized at 10 and grew up in
church, but we’ve both realized over time that we are not big on organized
religion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are very spiritual.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We both pray, but we focus on our own
personal relationship with God. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Sondra</span></b>: Spirituality plays a major part in our
relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We both pray and believe
in God and that we were created in his image.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We however have both agreed that organized religion is not something
that we would like to continue attending.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>With so much backlash from a vast majority of the Christian community,
we prefer a more intimate relationship with God. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p> </o:p></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKsaCvh6OxAI80YKpsp7qJQP9WE3n0SSoa7qSqrSuUX_zV5XhpVvLxc-gfx1Q9TGh69kWkpzq4RZfiHG5TMs7ugFsqJAVcEVxSFzrAnkk-Ba0ydizmwPP1BFffSXIjhnFSZFIJbjhALuuM/s1600/IMG_3833.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKsaCvh6OxAI80YKpsp7qJQP9WE3n0SSoa7qSqrSuUX_zV5XhpVvLxc-gfx1Q9TGh69kWkpzq4RZfiHG5TMs7ugFsqJAVcEVxSFzrAnkk-Ba0ydizmwPP1BFffSXIjhnFSZFIJbjhALuuM/s1600/IMG_3833.png" height="319" width="320" /></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">What role does sensuality
play in your relationship? <span style="color: #7030a0;">Dakerri</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: Sensuality plays a big role.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The art of touching, not always in a sexual
manner and mind stimulation. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Sondra</span></b>: Sensuality plays a very big role in
our relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are sensual with
each other as humanly possible physically and mentally, majority of the time
privately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are not too fond of PDA. </span></div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">After
12 years together, I believe that couples can benefit from your success</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What
advice would you give other couples? <span style="color: #7030a0;">Sondra</span></b>:
Communicate, communicate, communicate!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The biggest mistake that I see most people make in relationships is not
communicating with their partners.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Instead they go online and vent to the World Wide Web, to friends, past
lovers, etc. which just opens the door to even more issues.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was something even I had to learn over
time in our relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dakerri and I
talk about any and everything and continue to encourage each other to keep our
business between us. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"></span></b></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Dakerri:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">
Advice I’d give to other couples is be considerate of the other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A relationship is a partnership and one must
remember that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have to make
decisions that benefit you both.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also
pick your battles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With two people, two
personalities, two ways of thinking, there are going to be things you don’t see
eye to eye on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every disagreement should
not be a huge blow out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes you
have to swallow your pride and take one for the team.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">What specific
“relationship rules” support your union? <span style="color: #7030a0;">Dakerri</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: Sounds cliché, but treat her how I
would want to be treated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also
communication is key. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Sondra</span></b>: The only “relationship rule” that
supports our union is to remain completely honest with another and
understanding. </span></span><br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">When you think about
loving her, what did you have to learn and un-learn to love her fully? <span style="color: #7030a0;">Dakerri</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">:
I’m going to have to go back to my answer to #8 and say pick my battles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We got together at such a young age and were
both hot headed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over the years we’ve
learned how to deal with issues that arise and we have far less
disagreements.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This has brought such
closeness and understanding to our relationship. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg06hKzxHsxNXaFIqulHimknqUO-3XQIENUxjovpv6hauuLzABO5E8SJILAcaTiaJGOmJzwvwYyYXh7mVdhtFasKMgiCyCL3zRX3nU8TX7xGKPsqMtZYI8d8ZqhbBqPf0DpT7Pq5WpJPTmW/s1600/2015-04-13_20-10-52.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg06hKzxHsxNXaFIqulHimknqUO-3XQIENUxjovpv6hauuLzABO5E8SJILAcaTiaJGOmJzwvwYyYXh7mVdhtFasKMgiCyCL3zRX3nU8TX7xGKPsqMtZYI8d8ZqhbBqPf0DpT7Pq5WpJPTmW/s1600/2015-04-13_20-10-52.png" height="320" width="319" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"></span></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Sondra</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: When I met Dakerri I was still living
in the closet and lived what I considered a double life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was a stud at night and fem by day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to un-learn that being homosexual was
wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She didn’t know at the time, but
she helped me find myself and seeing how carefree she was helped me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">What
has your relationship taught you most about yourself? <span style="color: #7030a0;">Sondra</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: That I can be in one and be absolutely
happy!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That one person is amazing enough
to deal with a handful (me) and in the same token make me the happiest person
in the universe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Dakerri</span></b>: That I am strong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With my wife by my side I know I can face
anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I used to be very shy and not
assertive at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She taught me it was
ok to say no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has helped me to find
my inner strength. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"></span></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">When you think about
loving her, what 1 word most captures her essence and your love? <span style="color: #7030a0;">Dakerri</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">:
Sincerity. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Sondra</span></b>:
Consideration.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You can find more information about this wonderful couple at: YouTube channel Two Mom Diaries. It's </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/2momdiaries" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><span style="color: #0066cc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.youtube.com/2momdiaries</span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We thank you for sharing your love with us at </span><a href="http://www.createloveforwomen.com/"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Create Love</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">! Your story will encourage, inspire and uplift other couples. We wish you continued success and happiness.</span><a href="http://www.createloveforwomen.com/"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.createloveforwomen.com</span></a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Create Love Founders</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Imani Evans and SharRon Jamison</span></span></span></div>
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</div>
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: purple; font-size: x-large;"><b>Come play with us! </b></span></h3>
<span style="font-size: large;">Imani and SharRon are inviting you out for a night of fun just because we want to play with you...no, not like that. lol. We really want to just hang out with you and let our inner child out to mix and mingle. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">We love it when grown folks work hard and play even harder. Grab your bestie or boi..or both...and join us on<b> April 18, 2015 Saturday at the <a href="http://www.l5pcc.org/" target="_blank">Little 5 Points Community Center</a> in the Cafe. </b>$5 entry at the door. Snacks will be provided. BYOB (beer and wine permitted in moderation) We shall see you then for the fun!!!</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="mailto:createlove2015@gmail.com">createlove2015@gmail.com</a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">404.944.6409</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="mailto:imani@surviving2thriving.org">imani@surviving2thriving.org</a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="mailto:sharronejamison@gmail.com">sharronejamison@gmail.com</a> </span></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03695264235687315562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567195873604332557.post-69341861931340369292015-03-23T16:24:00.000-07:002015-03-30T15:30:40.245-07:00Happy Couple Highlights: Bah'Dori and Lynda<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">Bah'Dori Oyanna</span></strong><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">&</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">Lynda Harris</span></strong></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><em><strong>Atlanta, Ga.</strong></em></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">I am always fascinated by how relationships begin.
Where did you meet and what were the initial attractions?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #7030a0;">Bah’Dori Oyanna</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">: We met at a church
conference in Winston Salem North Carolina given by TFAM( The Fellowship of
Affirming Ministries . Lynda came and spoke to me given a word and my first thought
was she was a really sweet older lady and definitely a potential friend. </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Lynda</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">We meet at a church conference in Winston Salem
North Carolina given by TFAM( The Fellowship of Affirming Ministries. The word,
Spirit gave me for her was, “You are different and you’re not understood… from
both sides… family/church. Don’t change for no one. (WOW! That was on
point).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bah’Dori was working in the
Spirit, healing someone’s leg and I saw such caring and attention given. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrQltDuDZqTQV_gwBys7wf81_Ieb3ngkRsVU7NF-HzgvLWvz89_NHXFHSaFuBnxhDy6FiP4hI4TPw3-CBL3gHtqySzA9uB4v8bsEClvgS3nuXX0cUG0AWgZgsGXtRZZd4XRBBLif8U7UzH/s1600/bahia6.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrQltDuDZqTQV_gwBys7wf81_Ieb3ngkRsVU7NF-HzgvLWvz89_NHXFHSaFuBnxhDy6FiP4hI4TPw3-CBL3gHtqySzA9uB4v8bsEClvgS3nuXX0cUG0AWgZgsGXtRZZd4XRBBLif8U7UzH/s1600/bahia6.png" height="400" width="325" /></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">You have been together for 4 ½ years. First, Congratulations.
What advice would you give to other couples and why? <span style="color: #7030a0;">Lynda</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Talk about the little things… all the way
out. Hold space for everything that comes up. Laugh and have fun as much as
possible and remember those times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Bah’Dori</span>:</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is imperative that you have a good
understanding of self-first before entering a relationship and your willingness
to learn more about yourself by the reflections of your partner. We attract to
us people who show us our light as well as our shadows. It is important to
always ask, what is this and why is the energy here and what has it come to
teach me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Getting together is easy. Staying together is
difficult. I am sure that your have weathered many transitions and storms? How
did you manage and what was the hardest part?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #7030a0;">Bah’Dori</span>:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> For me it was
identifying and understanding some of my defense mechanisms I had adopted to
protect myself emotionally and how those mechanisms really became more of a
hindrance to my growth and my desire to have an authentic connection. I had to
take a really good look at myself and begin the work in trusting my energy and
choices. </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Lynda</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Recognizing what is/was mine and working on
myself and trust Spirit will give the true answers. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWOdVi6ifCK3I3lEJyySzvo1E8vtZWqKc00UwtS4QIKOkwdWSaunjjUlAX2XGvNfChrnjilBtOF3LGgCcc1DKHEU7XpbUi8MYR3xKG9cRXr9sB3KK1ln33PH0yJSYd7tDkuC4mTKZWEJ9u/s1600/bahia1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWOdVi6ifCK3I3lEJyySzvo1E8vtZWqKc00UwtS4QIKOkwdWSaunjjUlAX2XGvNfChrnjilBtOF3LGgCcc1DKHEU7XpbUi8MYR3xKG9cRXr9sB3KK1ln33PH0yJSYd7tDkuC4mTKZWEJ9u/s1600/bahia1.png" height="320" width="320" /></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Our personal histories greatly influence and
inform our lives and determine how we deal with adversity. So how have your
personal histories affected how you deal with and face challenges (family
acceptance, money differences, etc.) as a coupe? What is your strategy? <span style="color: #7030a0;">Lynda</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Revealing (being vulnerable) about what’s really going with me. Having
courage to face what I see in myself and asking for help with understanding the
wounds that come to be healed. </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Bah’Dori</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">We do a lot of sharing our stories, analyzing of self and
going down the rabbit hole on the whys. We also practice listening to each
other’s heart which requires understanding how to hold sacred space, allowing
the other to speak and to listen without ego attachment. This is definitely
requires us to be very conscious and intentional.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">I know faith is important to both of you. How
do you practice your faith as a couple and what role does spirituality play in
your relationship? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #7030a0;">Bah’Dori</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">: Coming from a non-religious but spiritual in
nature family, I had a wonderful opportunity to be able to experience various
religious and spiritual belief systems and develop a very intimate and unique relationship
with Source and do what honors the Spirit that exists in me as me. Lynda is
very spiritual as well and very much a justice for Jesus person. We enjoy
praying and mediating together as well as honoring those who shoulders on which
we stand our ancestors. We study and practice various forms of African
spirituality and Metaphysics which has really created a deep spiritual intimacy
between us and our relationship is overall enriched by the energy of it
all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Lynda</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I relay on Spirit to guide my walk each day.
With a Pentecostal background, I had to un-learn a lot and re-learn so much
more as I see Bah’Dori walk-out her beliefs and path. No judgments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIfks33HQSL7LpS1RX8VZOLUBbpIgaKWDs7ge2_2hdvGSNIkQ4dsc2Zw34hew-hcN2Z9udYAocic0YDlnz_-9IRbj29CeIzbz4wIO3yCDZLqyUQZ0TTLIfTrbfzWAMqdxvoOfbEe7GprQj/s1600/2015-03-07_11-02-28.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIfks33HQSL7LpS1RX8VZOLUBbpIgaKWDs7ge2_2hdvGSNIkQ4dsc2Zw34hew-hcN2Z9udYAocic0YDlnz_-9IRbj29CeIzbz4wIO3yCDZLqyUQZ0TTLIfTrbfzWAMqdxvoOfbEe7GprQj/s1600/2015-03-07_11-02-28.png" height="311" width="320" /></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">After years, how do you keep the fires burning?
What role does sensuality play in your relationship? And how do you guard
against lesbian bed death?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #7030a0;">Bah’Dori:</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> Our Intimacy and the Sex are off the chain! We
are intimate daily, since we been together she brings me coffee every morning,
runs baths and still puts on my favorite cologne that awakens my Yoni energy. I
must admit our energy is very intense together and it really took me a minute
to embrace this level of intimacy. It took me trusting myself to allow someone
to love me fully and authentically. I prayed that Source would allow me to
experience this kind of Love and I am definitely blessed by the experience. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Lynda</span></b>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The sex (love making) is <span style="font-variant: small-caps;">WONDERFUL;
</span>however the sensuality is the best EVER!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Bah’Dori will catch me lustfully looking at her and she will blush like
a school girl. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Every relationship develops<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> "</span>Relationship Rules” that support your union? What
are your spoken and unspoken rules? And how did those rules form? <span style="color: #7030a0;">Lynda</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There
are no rules.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The boundaries I have
incorporated are based on the values I hold for myself. (Do unto others) Trust
and Respect trumps rules… every time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Bah’Dori:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> We definitely had
conversations about what we expected from ourselves in regards to the kind of
quality relationship we desired, and we both have a great understanding of that
with one another. We don’t necessarily have Rules because they are too
stationary and mostly set out of Fear; we do have our individual and collective
boundaries based on our interdependence growth and how the relationship
naturally flows and evolves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3MbOv0T_Xhe30zRchD9mkl7YiZAKF8c3uKM_cAF3LC7YQj26CdYAQnlN5uhayMvqlrZ8VOgbN2hyuVTuGTMCAIFStdzTbVsSKlSfE9hTXyYfOzIi-A2njqHHX6anco-Q9d-bk5zRtBEk-/s1600/2015-03-07_11-10-43.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3MbOv0T_Xhe30zRchD9mkl7YiZAKF8c3uKM_cAF3LC7YQj26CdYAQnlN5uhayMvqlrZ8VOgbN2hyuVTuGTMCAIFStdzTbVsSKlSfE9hTXyYfOzIi-A2njqHHX6anco-Q9d-bk5zRtBEk-/s1600/2015-03-07_11-10-43.png" height="320" width="180" /></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Every relationship challenges us in different
way. What did you have to learn and UN-learn to love her fully and faithfully?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #7030a0;">Bah’Dori:</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because I am a very passionate person and my
energy can be very intense, I had to learn how to channel my energy in a way
that does not disrupts or cause imbalances for and around Lynda. She truly
assists in keeping me grounded and anchored and I help her to fly and
experience her powerful Artistic energies. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Lynda</span></b>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bah’Dori can be ‘fire’ at times (this is not
a negative.) I had to un-learn not to take things personal and learn to
understand her, struggles – fears – desires – hopes – dreams.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">What has your relationship taught you most
about yourself? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And her? <span style="color: #7030a0;">Lynda</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve
learned my past wounds have influenced many of my choices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bah’Dori will hold space for me to work it
all out… without judgment. </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Bah’Dori</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">: Our relationship has
really taught me how to allow love to really love. I learned that my conditions
and expectations in my past really came from what was truly voided in me and my
need to seek outside of myself for what I thought would be “perfection”. The Love
that we share is based on us just showing up as our Best selves for ourselves
which is the natural process that we experience with one another in our
relationship. I learned that my wife’s core values definitely reflect my core
values, and that provides us with a level of quality in our relationship which
is the foundation of our growth as individuals and as a couple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you experience this Kind of Love it
makes you a better person, just because that what love does. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">When you think about your relationship, what
makes you most grateful that she is in your life? <span style="color: #7030a0;">Bah’Dori</span></span></b><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">: </span><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">I am most grateful for
how attentive, kind and truly loving Lynda is. Lynda is truly the kindest person I know. I
love how she never meets a stranger and avails herself to assist others; she
truly is a wonderful example of the Heart of Source. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Lynda</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I asked the Universe for a life partner,
I requested a woman that was NOT religious. I am most grateful of Bah’Dori
ability to feel – hear – see Spirit. I’m so grateful to be a witness to her
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is willing to walk-the-talk…
she is serious about her connection to Spirit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIbW24VAoH3_U6Z2i3HH4C8AwF3ycx_WFC0RFi04t8WZL0zpOmw5tQYFY2WOL3HhKr_C0oXE2MJxPk-Bg-AHH2FCc7oC7foxSk9NC-DkumxRgOstb02sbmpzL3vxLHuNYvqINrVyf1xtEJ/s1600/2015-03-07_10-46-53.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIbW24VAoH3_U6Z2i3HH4C8AwF3ycx_WFC0RFi04t8WZL0zpOmw5tQYFY2WOL3HhKr_C0oXE2MJxPk-Bg-AHH2FCc7oC7foxSk9NC-DkumxRgOstb02sbmpzL3vxLHuNYvqINrVyf1xtEJ/s1600/2015-03-07_10-46-53.png" height="274" width="320" /></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span></b><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">What 1 word most captures her essence and your
love? </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Bah’Dori</span></b><span style="color: #7030a0;">: </span>Ascension.
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Lynda</span></b>:
Gratitude <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">What will be your legacy as a couple? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #7030a0;">Bah’Dori</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">: Our Legacy would be
the timeless and selfless love we have for one another transcended any kind compartmentalization
and we shared our lives and love with all those who Source allowed us to touch.
We exemplify the Energy of Twin Flames, Soul Mates. </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Lynda</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>1.) They loved each other immensely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2.) Held space for everyone that showed-up at
their door – phone – FaceBook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>3.)
Cooked a good pot of beans & rice. 4.) Sheared everything with each other.
5.) Showed others it’s ok to have a soft side and see the POWER they hold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>6.) Use your gifts to heal the community and
the world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Lynda
Harris and Bah’Dori Oyanna are the Wisdom Teachers and Spiritual Practitioners
at Om Concepts and Provisions and facilitators of the Transformative Light
Spiritual Gathering and Meditative Circle. We provide various indigenous and
metaphysical holistic and spiritual education, services and products for
individuals and couples. www.omconceptsandprovisions.com <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10130464382565256380noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567195873604332557.post-90103970609868471192015-03-16T11:01:00.000-07:002015-03-16T11:42:57.674-07:00Chapter 24: Stumble but Don't Stop, Success is a Process<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_xQhFFU7_QExeecerQNQNC4N3yl0kVNHKtxImPTW41w10u2pLF2k1laxMWVUb57fKTbDrPupWsHnXYgdmB-weMUSqX_WwDQo7KrShodVyT7NWGrykbPT3XXVs3_-SKUumyuy4ue2trCeu/s1600/stumble.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_xQhFFU7_QExeecerQNQNC4N3yl0kVNHKtxImPTW41w10u2pLF2k1laxMWVUb57fKTbDrPupWsHnXYgdmB-weMUSqX_WwDQo7KrShodVyT7NWGrykbPT3XXVs3_-SKUumyuy4ue2trCeu/s1600/stumble.png" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have
learned that on your road to success, you will stumble. On your journey to
greatness and significance, you will have mishaps, you will make mistakes, and
you will make miscalculations. You may slip, trip, and fall even when you have
properly planned, prepared, and positioned yourself to win. Unfortunately, you
may also lose your balance because of competing demands, and you may lose your
footing under the weight of mounting pressures. You may wallow, waver, and
wobble privately and occasionally publicly. Stumbling is inevitable when you
passionately pursue your dreams.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But it is
at those critical times when you are slipping and sliding your way to success
that you will be forced to make a critical choice. You will need to decide if
you will become discouraged and stop or if you will become courageous and
proceed. Both are choices, decisions, and options that only <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">you</i> can make. But remember that your
decision will directly determine and/or influence your destiny and the
trajectory of your life. Your choice will determine if you move closer to your
dream or if you will move further away from your purpose.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So when,
not if, you stumble, I hope you will choose to stumble but not stop. I hope you
will use your mistakes to help you correct your course and redirect your
efforts. I hope you will use your miscalculations to reassess your strategies
and reallocate your resources. I pray that you will use your mishaps to
consider new ideas and ponder new approaches. I hope that your slips encourage
you to reevaluate paradigms and explore creative options. I hope your blunders
reveal your true friends and expose your most destructive foes.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIFRoLM8dnCsTZE8evxw3zqRNnt3sFuqA0LBKThRMs0US2-YW6_7mZTXtqiMfQOu0Bffe03n4RcWtBYEKx6FLY9vZ9VSJrOYFmZhVwTIoYD52W6SYY3E7BmyiSgw4ip41G4xn9T6wONoOz/s1600/successWAVE.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIFRoLM8dnCsTZE8evxw3zqRNnt3sFuqA0LBKThRMs0US2-YW6_7mZTXtqiMfQOu0Bffe03n4RcWtBYEKx6FLY9vZ9VSJrOYFmZhVwTIoYD52W6SYY3E7BmyiSgw4ip41G4xn9T6wONoOz/s1600/successWAVE.png" height="125" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What I
know for sure is that a stumble is just an event or experience; it is not an
ending. It may be a fumble but not a finish. It is an error but not an exit. It
is not just a loss but a lesson. It is not a defeat; it’s data. It is not
fatal; it is fruitful. Stumbling is a process of small failures that set us up
for significant victories. So be encouraged. Never forget that we stumble <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">up</i> to success; we don’t fall to fail.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Stumbling
is a critical part of our journey. It plays an important role in our
development and refinement processes. That’s good news! So follow your dreams,
and don’t worry if you stumble, because the stumbles we make today will prepare
us for whatever emerges tomorrow. So stumble but get back up, stand up, move
up, and don’t give up, because God will always show up.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are you ready to stumble? I am. Can’t wait to see where our stumbling leads us.</span><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
This is an excerpt from SharRon's newly released book, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I<strong> Have Learned A Few Things.</strong></div>
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<strong>Accepting Pre-orders now...</strong></div>
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<a href="http://sharronjamison.com/product/i-have-learned-a-few-things/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #008216;">http://sharronjamison.com/product/i-have-learned-a-few-things/</span></a> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Blessings! </span></div>
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<o:p></o:p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">SharRon Jamison</span> </span><br />
<a href="http://www.sharronjamison.com/"><span style="color: #a13da5; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.sharronjamison.com</span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.ihavelearnedafewthings.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #008216; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.IHaveLearnedafewthings.com</span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.icandependonme-sharronjamison.com/"><span style="color: #a13da5; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.icandependonme-sharronjamison.com</span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.createloveforwomen.com/"><span style="color: #a13da5; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.createloveforwomen.com</span></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Don’t forget to register for the Journey to Wellness Retreat. September will be soon!</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10130464382565256380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567195873604332557.post-26358543219167833852015-03-02T17:57:00.000-08:002015-03-02T17:57:05.092-08:00Happy Single Highlight: Kay <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjCznSjeu1_2lLI4jtrkgFXEuvIdBjiUrlwOmbFPxnYa26Hlwh8CMfo89HWZKCk6Eobe6lf32s7JDjolfMS9MoJyg4QmRQYD9EJZQiVTpo2Vpe-PJZ1dci6fzVOIrhVqDTEmpcXW3F3jOd/s1600/kay.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjCznSjeu1_2lLI4jtrkgFXEuvIdBjiUrlwOmbFPxnYa26Hlwh8CMfo89HWZKCk6Eobe6lf32s7JDjolfMS9MoJyg4QmRQYD9EJZQiVTpo2Vpe-PJZ1dci6fzVOIrhVqDTEmpcXW3F3jOd/s1600/kay.png" height="320" width="293" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><strong>Kay Oates</strong></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em><strong><span style="font-size: large;">Atlanta, Ga.</span></strong></em></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Kay, since you have been single,
what have you learned about yourself?</span></i></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Each day, I learn a little more
about myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I can say it in one
word it would be GROWTH.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve always
known my strength, but singlehood allows me to focus on growing more
comfortable with my authentic self. I love my “me time”!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I enjoy my company.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love taking myself on wonderful dates.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am comfortable going to a nice restaurant,
concert, play, and/or movie with myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I always so “with myself” and never “by myself”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What are you doing now to prepare
yourself for a healthy relationship?</span></i></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In preparation for a healthy
relationship?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Honestly, I’m not doing
anything different than what I feel I should do day-to-day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I continually work on loving and treating myself
the way I deserve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I grow in love with
myself more and more each minute of the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I know that a healthy relationship can only exist if there is
self-love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I pray, mediate, and seeking
direction from God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have several
rituals that I do to make sure that I am centered and emotionally healthy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whether it’s the physical or emotional
detoxing regiments that I do, I know that I am working on making sure that I am
receptive and approachable for what life offers.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In my relationship, I tend to
struggle with sharing my inner fears and insecurities. What areas do you tend
to struggle with most in relationships? </span></i></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Ouch.
Getting out of my own head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tend to
over think things. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If there’s a problem,
the simple thing to do is talk it out…..but NOOOOOO!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By the time we sit down and discuss the
issue, in my head I’ve figured out what caused it, what the responses will be,
and how we are going to handle it….lol.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This is definitely an area which I continue to work on and pray for more
understanding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m really focusing on relaxing
and accepting that I don’t have to fix everything; you know, getting pass that
Superwoman syndrome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></i></b></span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFOUrxVZElvxPukWja3Kr-uP7glKgvo9SQ5ITFiE8UcMiq9y6NPZS-AOpCmJxg5vXFC2LwWlwfpXtTuCY30AUfmz9Au4czUddgZm7MH_feqo4NL7uulyAMMayHGM8nCnQKdoZ6FW2hiFZS/s1600/2015-02-27_9-37-06.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFOUrxVZElvxPukWja3Kr-uP7glKgvo9SQ5ITFiE8UcMiq9y6NPZS-AOpCmJxg5vXFC2LwWlwfpXtTuCY30AUfmz9Au4czUddgZm7MH_feqo4NL7uulyAMMayHGM8nCnQKdoZ6FW2hiFZS/s1600/2015-02-27_9-37-06.png" height="400" width="225" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Since you are spending valuable time by
yourself and learning yourself, what characteristics and traits do you now find
most compatible? Which ones are most problematic and why? </span></i></b></span><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Honesty, loyalty and
trustworthiness, without a doubt, are the traits that I find most compatible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am very loyal in ALL of my relationships:
friendship, love, business.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will do my
best to make sure I don’t intentionally hurt anyone and if I learn that my
actions have caused harm, it bothers me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Controlling behavior, lying and
cheating are the most problematic traits for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once I learn that someone is lying to me or
can’t be trusted, I will question everything they ever said to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If there is no trust, we can’t work together.
AND….once that line of trust has been breached, I release you!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’re done!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No go-backs!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No do-overs!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s that darn Capricorn trait.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Kay, what do you love about love? </span></i></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">TRUE love….EVERYTHING.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I love the openness and the restoration that comes with love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love the growth that loves brings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I’m truly and honestly loved, I can be
free.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love sharing and creating
memories and then smiling and laughing together over those memories.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love the healing that comes from true
love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love being comfortable enough to
be vulnerable and trusting that my vulnerability will never be used as a
weapon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just love LOVE. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Love this Kay) <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Every relationships offers rich
lessons about who we are and who we are not. What has being in a relationship
taught you about you? </span></i></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Being in a
relationship has taught me that I really do love deeply and I will give my all
to the RIGHT relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a
nurturer and once I commit, I will work to make the relationship grow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t take love or a relationships lightly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Additionally, I’ve learn to trust my
instinct/my first mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it doesn’t
feel right, if it doesn’t sound right, believe the things that “aren’t being
said”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No more wait it out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because of this awareness, I have learned to
never settle. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know my worth and I
deserve the best because I will offer my best.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I understand now that the greatest blessings can come after the deepest
hurts.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I admire that you are such a gentle,
generous spirit who is always ready to offer a kind word to people. What do you
admire about yourself? </span></i></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So many things. I
admire my strong commitment to family and friendships, my ability to empathize
and accept people right where they are without expecting changes to fit my
desires. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also admire my resistance, my
ability to give when I don’t necessarily receive, and my strength in the face
of some really difficult decisions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After my last relationship ended, I went
through a period of deep sadness and it took me some time to feel comfortable
with the thought of allowing anyone in my space.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One day I decided “the pity party is
over”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I dried my tears, changed my
prayer request, and truly began the healing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Now, I am at a place of peace and joy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That’s resistance!!!</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxJXT-kFPKqU7fBgMkGAQXaSTrVzgnCs1YIoYX07o3SPVvmle3asB2RYNT-tGg7pX2RhDrlbGx6ZuBzVLGaF1mORvC_WTbQup-K81CQbuY5agMVEbKUkgb7vrWPaJLtQrRNebegMY1CTgX/s1600/2015-02-27_9-39-52.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxJXT-kFPKqU7fBgMkGAQXaSTrVzgnCs1YIoYX07o3SPVvmle3asB2RYNT-tGg7pX2RhDrlbGx6ZuBzVLGaF1mORvC_WTbQup-K81CQbuY5agMVEbKUkgb7vrWPaJLtQrRNebegMY1CTgX/s1600/2015-02-27_9-39-52.png" height="400" width="355" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">How would your friends describe you?
</span></i></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Let me think…..funny, caring,
loving, moody, trustworthy, a loner at times, loyal, good mom, and deep thinker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe my true friends will say that I’m a
mixture of these things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If a person wanted to take you out, what
would you like to do? What do you like to do for fun and why? </span></i></b></span><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are so many things that I like
to do for fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I tried to list them
all, it would take up this entire article.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I love quality with my son.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
inspires me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love the beach, music,
and traveling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now if I can get all of
three in one adventure….HOORAY.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am
growing and learning to take chances and I love trying new things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will seek opportunities to go horseback
riding, skiing, zip-lining, learning to rollerblade, or anything that will make
my friends say “girl, you are always doing something different”. I don’t like complacency, so if it sound like
fun, count me in. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">How do you experience and receive
love? What is your love language and how did you learn that about yourself? </span></i></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My primary love language is Words of Affirmation and
secondary if quality time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love quite
moments together, a “just-because” card, sweet call to find out how my day is
going, a simple sticky note that reminds me I’m in someone’s thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How did I learn that about
myself?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>LOL…I realized that I was
expressing my love language to my partner and couldn’t understand why it wasn’t
reciprocal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because it’s my love language.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpJytjcLXxoEzngBM9rORe-iqtRn5FCSN-gGyVMOx5MfHyC82qyGvbECBqDC7eGIOA1U-aH2HXlL1EJX_3gf1WlaNFa1WnyGySCucGvaYoERV5zcug1s44m3CfXg4eyydXKlyh2-Ct-wz7/s1600/2015-02-27_9-17-04.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpJytjcLXxoEzngBM9rORe-iqtRn5FCSN-gGyVMOx5MfHyC82qyGvbECBqDC7eGIOA1U-aH2HXlL1EJX_3gf1WlaNFa1WnyGySCucGvaYoERV5zcug1s44m3CfXg4eyydXKlyh2-Ct-wz7/s1600/2015-02-27_9-17-04.png" height="320" width="317" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I feel grounded and ready to receive
love when I tap into the power and wisdom of a Source. How important is
spirituality to you? </span></i></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Spirituality is
the essences of my being and the very reason I am alive and well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve experienced some really difficult
situations in my life and I know that had it not been for God’s mercy and
grace, I would not have made it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even
when I didn’t know the words to say or when I didn’t feel I had the strength to
make it to the next day, I would utter the simple prayer HELP.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For God, that’s more than enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I constantly remind myself that my current
situation is only a chapter of the greater story which God has designed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life's circumstances may cause me to be
unhappy, but I'm so glad I still have my joy. There is a difference in
happiness and joy!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because of my
unwavering faith, I can say that I am deliberately, unapologetically GRATEFUL
and full of peace. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinXmz7Yv1y4Ar0UCcvmhkOIKffazZtTMrtDJC7r82JUJToaPXzgRXOqKpCyGR1CWAZ-d_8Vh4D9z8YuIyeIdeyrHSsTnlCjWQGBGkqkB4zfko2UDcwe5oGU7g16qkUKUYVC4zBLV3kFg77/s1600/2015-02-28_10-52-11.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinXmz7Yv1y4Ar0UCcvmhkOIKffazZtTMrtDJC7r82JUJToaPXzgRXOqKpCyGR1CWAZ-d_8Vh4D9z8YuIyeIdeyrHSsTnlCjWQGBGkqkB4zfko2UDcwe5oGU7g16qkUKUYVC4zBLV3kFg77/s1600/2015-02-28_10-52-11.png" height="284" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><strong><em>Finish this sentence…..before I die
I want to </em></strong><strong><em>_______________________________.</em></strong></span><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">….finally have a relationship with
someone who wants and loves me as much as I love and want them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>What important lesson did you learn from your mother that
has helped you in life and in relationships? </strong>I</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> wrote in my journal about this
very topic last year when I was dealing with depression, heartbreak and
grief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will repost my comments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
</div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“My
mother passed away when I was only 13 months. I don’t remember her voice or
even her face (I do have pictures). I miss that mother-daughter relationship.
There are times when her absence is so overwhelming that I feel numb. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is those moments when I feel this
comforting spirit coming around me and providing this soothing for my troubled
spirit. The topic of our mother is somewhat hard for me and my brothers (who
were babies when she died, 7 and 3). I finally got my heart and nerve together
to ask them questions and I am still in tears from the responses of my oldest
brother.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When I am overwhelmed or really
lonely, the small sweet odor of vanilla will come to me; didn’t know why. My
brother said, our mother would put a dab of vanilla behind her ear as perfume
and she often rubbed my body with it when she bathed me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I will find pennies ANY and
EVERYWHERE and always pick them up; didn’t know why. He told me our mother
ALWAYS collected pennies and kept them in mason jars around the house.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My mother is around me constantly
and always providing that comfort that I need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I guess you can say the lesson that I learned from her, even in her
absence, is to surround and support those who are close to your heart.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8a3KLgDsHZVWXLZkxcTBlh7MLvHoVj2E78_6s3DMHq6dqhimGRsdh2rLRNr4iQ1KY8KMFnNKugHQjWZhIG1Zsinr92HrQh6FMa7ii2PySJWfI9EXdRf3-XIWZdctMl_FW_T78usYdSkLn/s1600/Rose+Bloom+II.gif"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8a3KLgDsHZVWXLZkxcTBlh7MLvHoVj2E78_6s3DMHq6dqhimGRsdh2rLRNr4iQ1KY8KMFnNKugHQjWZhIG1Zsinr92HrQh6FMa7ii2PySJWfI9EXdRf3-XIWZdctMl_FW_T78usYdSkLn/s320/Rose+Bloom+II.gif" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;">(Interview conducted by SharRon Jamison)</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span> <br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We thank you for sharing your journey of happiness in singlehood! Your story will encourage, inspire and uplift other singles. We wish you continued success and happiness.<a href="http://www.createloveforwomen.com/">www.createloveforwomen.com</a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Create Love -- Founders</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Imani Evans and SharRon Jamison</span><br />
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Don’t forget to register for the Journey to Wellness Retreat. September will be soon!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><a href="http://createloveforwomen.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html" target="_blank">Click here for more information</a></b></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10130464382565256380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567195873604332557.post-87257212143491010002015-02-21T07:35:00.000-08:002015-02-23T07:37:30.901-08:00Happy Couple Highlights: Elle and Tosha<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><strong>Elle & Tosha</strong></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><strong>Parker-Meredith</strong></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ2HqGgrfo7VIy9-gPEoTCzAOVrCzSEC9RXZmAh55GKE8i5KMAUBdl7hNvJDkDMNIXqvAWUGNK1U3dwbj-yneEu2fcw_ZwhS8XAa0oXPmU-QlSJll-eVmzVNgaYYglEq9AENiPc1Fou-Gi/s1600/2015-02-21_9-16-18.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ2HqGgrfo7VIy9-gPEoTCzAOVrCzSEC9RXZmAh55GKE8i5KMAUBdl7hNvJDkDMNIXqvAWUGNK1U3dwbj-yneEu2fcw_ZwhS8XAa0oXPmU-QlSJll-eVmzVNgaYYglEq9AENiPc1Fou-Gi/s1600/2015-02-21_9-16-18.png" height="365" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><em>Atlanta, Ga.</em></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">How long have you been together? <span style="color: #6600cc; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Elle</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: Doc and I became girlfriends 2.5 years
ago and made it official by tying the knot Oct. 7, 2014. We’ve known one
another for almost 3 years. Celebrating 4 happy months married on the 7th of
Jan. <b><span style="color: #6600cc;">Tosha</span></b>: Elle and I have been
married for 3 months and have been together for almost 3 years.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I love to hear how couples meet. So,
share. How did you get together/meet?</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Elle</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: Doc and I met at the beginning of
summer (May to be exact) at a concert, in which I was invited to by her BFF
April Girard. I knew April was in the life, a life I had left alone many years
ago. Later during the concert…. While playing with my cell phone, I looked up
and saw Tosh lying in front of me looking directly at me. In that very moment,
I snapped a picture of her (smiled) and looked back at the picture and thought,
she is stunning! My heart fluttered for a second!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">You see, Doc was
wearing a cow boy hat that covered her face, yet in the picture (still wearing
the hat) I saw her face! Her light brown eyes were kissed by the sun, her
freckles caught my attention and the ever so sexy smirk on her face looked
devious. I quickly turned to April showed her the picture and said, ‘She’s
Beautiful!’ April said, ‘I can’t believe you took her picture! April looked at
her BFF Tosh and gave her this look and smiled. I often wondered what that look
was all about. As the summer got under way the love bug struck both of us
beyond our control. It’s true, when you least expect it love will find you as
long as you’re open to it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Tosha</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: Elle and I met through my BFF April
Girard. My BFF kept telling me about a woman she wanted me to meet because she
thought Elle was “my type” and thought she would be good for me. Because of my
prior break up, I really wasn’t interested in meeting anyone. I was honestly
dating and very content with being single. That was, until I met Lu’Wana
Parker. Smile. We met at the Old School concert a few years back and I
immediately asked my BFF, “who is THAT?” lol, my BFF laughed and said, “that’s
the lady I’ve been wanting you to meet!” I was like, oh um ok…is she gay? Is
she married…you know all the questions you ask when you meeting someone as fine
as my wife! My BFF told me Lu’Wana wasn’t gay and I kind of shrugged and kept
it moving.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I later sent her
a friend request on Facebook and you know, watched her from afar for a few
weeks. I saw her again at an “Ink and Whole” party at my BFF’s house at the
beginning of that summer. I was amazed and smitten! I kept staring at her and
wanted to talk to her but I was afraid. Well, I finally mustered up enough
nerve to talk to her (I’ll let her tell that part of the story)! Smile<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">We didn’t
exchange numbers or anything that night; however, I did tell my friends that
“she was going to be my wife.” Later, on the ride home, The Lord, told me as
clear as day, “that is your wife.” I was like, “big gulp, really?!?!?” And it
went on from there….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipxGypzCV__oVLVm2lXuWZ-RnInu_bdNIE1k0KLgoYW3p6sBlTLj__bo5RsZ-AChbggvQ6iFmunjSHieEJkF1AZAfSH3jRjar0qsOKoLpFUCIElq8ImkpgSWcUntTjQO1lNvgDBfd184Gd/s1600/2015-02-21_9-35-03.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipxGypzCV__oVLVm2lXuWZ-RnInu_bdNIE1k0KLgoYW3p6sBlTLj__bo5RsZ-AChbggvQ6iFmunjSHieEJkF1AZAfSH3jRjar0qsOKoLpFUCIElq8ImkpgSWcUntTjQO1lNvgDBfd184Gd/s1600/2015-02-21_9-35-03.png" height="320" width="281" /></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">There is always something that always
attracts us to certain people. What was the initial attraction?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #6600cc; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Elle</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: My
initial attraction to Doc was her inner sex appeal, beauty & physique
underneath the edgy exterior. I was turned on by her arm tattoos, her freckles,
her beautiful eyes and her calm spirit. I thought, wow I really like the woman
that lives within her androgynous style. Once we started spending time, I found
that although many differences between us, our similarities were strong. We were
created by God specifically for one another.</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Tosha</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: My initial attraction to Elle was her
resemblance to my Mama. Her “jazziness” and “sex appeal” were very familiar to
me and I thought she reminded me of my mom in that sense. I was also attracted
to her love for her children. I noticed from the very beginning that she talked
about her kids a lot and it really showed her concern for them. I loved that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Congrats on your recent marriage. What
did you do to prepare for marriage? And how has being married changed your
relationship? <span style="color: #6600cc; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Elle</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: Thank You! My Wife and I went to
marriage counseling for 10 months. We learned so much more about one another
with mediators present. It allowed for a safe space for us to be free, clear
and truly honest about our deepest fears, concerns, desires and expectations
towards one another and our relationship. Counseling removed the representative
(if you will) and allowed us to think beyond the beginning & in the moment.
We were challenged to think FUTURE and how to effectively build together. One
thing I learned specifically was how to LISTEN.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Since getting
married, I have this overwhelming feeling all of the time that is hard to
explain! When I think final...it’s scary yet I feel accomplished! Like I have
arrived and joined an elite club. Being married has changed my relationship
radically in the area of communication. My Wife and I have come to the
consensus, giving up is NOT an option! Through communication, we are committed
to doing the work no matter what and that in itself is our growth from past
relationships.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Tosha</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: As Elle mentioned, we did couples
counseling for several months and spent time getting to know each other before
we were married. It was important to me, personally, that we not live together
before we were married. I guess I’m “traditional” in that sense.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Being married
has strengthened our relationship. I felt before like “quitting was not an
option,” but now I feel that it is not even a thought, really. At the end of
the day, we are together for life and that’s the bottom line. I would say
marriage has changed us both for the better, as a couple. I don’t feel like we
are individuals any longer. Now I really feel that we are one in every aspect
of life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Relationships are not always easy. We
want them, but they take work. What would you say is the key to the success of
your relationship and why? </span></b><b><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Elle</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: The key to the success in our
relationship is definitely communication, compromise & comfort. Early on I
was taught that communication is key in everything I do! I work hard at being
an effective communicator with everyone in my life. I use communication to
teach our children, to lead by example and to express myself with respect and
respect to others. Tosh wasn’t used to communicating effectively and in the
beginning of our relationship we struggled because of this. We’ve learned that
in order to be heard and to listen to one another, we need to talk about it in
love. Compromise is equally important because we understand that we’re
different. Reaching a compromise is key to settling our differences to keep the
peace and love flowing. Comfort is necessary as life is challenging,
relationships are challenging and knowing that your spouse/partner will comfort
you regardless of any situation will allow you to create space to communicate
& compromise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Tosha</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: The key to the success of our
relationship is communication. I’ve not been a big communicator in my past
relationships and I’ve learned (and am learning) the importance of
communicating. I’m also learning how to communicate effectively and how to
communicate my needs and wants without sounding selfish.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Relationships are wonderful combinations
of celebration and challenges. How do you deal with and face challenges that might
come up in your relationship? </span></b><b><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Elle</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: We face challenges head on! We
acknowledge, we talk and we conquer together right away up front. We understand
challenges can and will create space and distance if you allow it, so we choose
to breathe and go head on to rid away unnecessary absence between us. Doc and I
have dealt with a lot to get where we are today in our relationship, honestly
if we didn’t take this approach from the start we would not be married today!
We work hard to make our time together most enjoyable, effective and essential.
We live by…never go to bed MAD!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Tosha</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: We face challenges head on. We talk
about them. We acknowledge them. And we deal with them. Compromise is probably
the other key to the success of our relationship. We have both given a great
deal and sacrificed a lot to be together. Learning to compromise has been
probably the most essential part of us “staying together” thus far. Because I
served in the military for almost 25 years, I grew to be a very independent
person. For the past few years it’s just been me and my dogs. I got use to
traveling and living out of a suitcase. In fact, I would venture to say that
most, if not all, of my relationships even since college, have been long
distance relationships because of studies and the military. So living with, and
having, a family was a major change for me. I had to quickly learn the
importance of compromise and the value it plays in our relationship.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I know one of the challenges that many
couples have is blending families. How did you blend the family and what advice
would you give to other couples? <span style="color: #6600cc; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Elle</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">:
Yesssss, blending families can be difficult and challenging to say the least!
Tosh and I are still blending. Blending will be ongoing and is a day to day
process with us, our girls and the dogs. Honestly, personally this is the hardest
part of our relationship for me. I have the girls <b>Kharma</b> 12 and <b>Aje</b>’
7 yrs. and Tosh has the boys <b>Zeus</b> and <b>Duke</b> (boxers). I also have
a toy poodle <b>Princess</b> who runs the house (lol). My struggle is getting
used to having what I call outside dogs inside full time. Adjusting to BIG dogs
in every aspect of our home (drives me batty). I pray, I deal one day at a time
(really minute by minute) and keep things in mind like compromise to get
through it. I also consider the situation in reverse with Tosh and the girls.
My gaping love for my Wife is what keeps me. Our girls on the other hand have
adjusted nicely and rather quickly, surprisingly so.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqvj0R2Lqoa78IXZ9_QRlr8WThM3bgOuTmDO5ELFwhYgMehSeiR_iBh2gUOihzbllrAlUYpyIfY3sMSeJLBEp8zDlyBy0HZwUZy51Sbc-iIVRX6QYM35fA3L0UYdm5CJWEm1pM8MX1pl4R/s1600/2015-02-21_9-20-09.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqvj0R2Lqoa78IXZ9_QRlr8WThM3bgOuTmDO5ELFwhYgMehSeiR_iBh2gUOihzbllrAlUYpyIfY3sMSeJLBEp8zDlyBy0HZwUZy51Sbc-iIVRX6QYM35fA3L0UYdm5CJWEm1pM8MX1pl4R/s1600/2015-02-21_9-20-09.png" height="252" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">The advice I
would give to other couples is, please know merging two lives takes time. When
you add others in the family to the mix, it could take even longer. Have
extraordinary patience, communication, exercise your right to vent (in a loving
way) and work as a team, none of the, this is mine and that’s yours
perspective. Take time for self (just because you’re a couple now doesn’t mean
you have to give YOU up), yet be selfless. Tosh and I find it extremely helpful
to have another couple you trust to have as an accountability partner(s).
There’s something good in hearing another perspective from someone who has/is
going through the same thing. Lastly, pray and place God as the head of your
home/relationship and follow his word (providing that is your belief/faith).</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Tosha</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: Blending our family has been
interesting, to say the least. I think our greatest challenge has been learning
to live in the space we’ve been blessed with. Our home is very small, nice, and
cozy. Subsequently, we have to learn to live together in a very tight space. I
think this has been a blessing in disguise because it forced us to get closer
and spend more time together. I’ve personally learned the importance of team
work and understanding that life isn’t just about me (and my dogs). Smile.
Having children has taken some getting used to. The main challenge for me has
been learning that the children’s schedule pretty much dictates our (the
adult’s) schedules. Once I realized that, life became a lot easier.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">The advice I would give to family blending
lives would be to take your time, learn one another, and over communicate (your
needs). I often see people give so much of his or herself that they become a
different person. Remain true to yourself but remember what brought you
together and why you are together. If there are children involved, be cognizant
of their feelings, their age, and their other parent. Everything matters,
whether stated or not. Additionally, I highly suggest both individual and
couples counseling. It’s so important to know yourself and know what you bring
to the table. What makes you comfortable and uncomfortable. Knowing this can help
you communicate your needs to your mate. Finally, find a group that supports
you. Be it friends, other couples, a pastor, or mentor. Surround yourself with
like-minded people and set the expectation that “giving up is not an option.”
In an effort to surround ourselves with like-minded individuals, Elle created
an organization called “Healthy Couples – Atlanta.” The group has been very
successful and there are couples in the group that have families. We have
learned from the other couples and have created a support system as well as
accountability partners who help us remain true to our relationship and our
family.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I know faith is important to both of you
individually. What role does spirituality play in your relationship and how do
you celebrate our faith as a couple? </span></b><b><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Elle</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: Spirituality is important! It’s one
thing to be spiritual walking your own path and another to be married to a
Pastor or someone in Ministry. I’m learning to support and play a role for
other people. I’m learning my walk with God and to take on learning what it
means to lead at the same time. This has been overwhelming to say the least. I
will say this, ‘it’s truly rewarding!’ My reward comes from being obedient to
his whisper and not allowing fear to lead me away from our calling to KIMVC. I
think it’s safe to say, we are still trying to figure out our way in this area
as a unit. We are also growing spiritually together by spending time in prayer
and serving through our worship services/experiences. My Pastor, Friend,
Confidant and Lover is teaching me and leading me to a more purposeful life…I
simply admire, respect & love Dr. Tosha Parker-Meredith!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Tosha</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: Being a new pastor, I think
spirituality is very important. It is one thing to be in ministry and not
necessarily play a key role, however it’s totally different to pastor a church
and have individuals you are accountable to. Having a spiritual relationship
helps with all the challenges that not only come with our relationship but the
challenges that come with ministry in general. We are still figuring our way in
the area of spirituality. We are also growing in this area to a point of
spending time together in prayer as well as our worship experiences.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Tosha, congrats on our new pastorate.
How can people learn more about your church and Elle, how are you preparing to
be a “pastor’s wife”? <span style="color: #6600cc; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Elle</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: Preparing to be a Pastor’s wife has
been seemingly easy for me to do. I’m careful with what I read concerning being
a pastor’s wife first and foremost! In the past I found myself side-tracked
with worries that I wouldn’t meet people's expectations. However, I find much
peace in going back to scripture and reminding myself that my real acceptance
and security rest in Christ’s grace, not my performance. I consider it a huge
privilege to be married to a woman who preaches God’s Word week after week. I
love my wife and am grateful for the ministry the Lord has given us in KIMVC
Kingdom International Ministries Virtual Church. Biblically, the role of a
pastor’s wife is the same as every wife’s: love your husband/wife and children,
manage our home well and be an example to women around me (Titus 2:4-5). I also
let my spiritual gifting direct many of my choices. My spiritual gift is
serving and outreach, which means much of my involvement is behind the scenes.
My main role is to support my wife and here’s how I do that: watch out for her;
I provide helpful and honest feedback; stand with her when times are tough; I
discern and provide real talk; I never gossip; I ensure both of us grow a thick
skin; lastly, I keep the fun alive. I strongly believe, if I continue to do
what I’m currently doing and continue to grow in God’s Word, it will allow me
to enjoy the role as First Lady.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I feel because I
treat my role more as a wife and mother vs. a pastor’s wife makes for any
challenges that could occur nonexistent in our relationship. It’s the bond not
the title that I/we focus on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Tosha</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: Being a pastor is something I kind of
fell into. Things happened so fast and changed so drastically that I’m still
getting used to it. The church is called Kingdom International Ministries
Virtual Church and it’s affectionately known as KIMVC. The web address is
KIMVirtualChurch.Org. We started the ministry several months ago for a few
reasons. First, we saw a need for integrating technology (social media) with
Christ and Christian principles. Our mission is to courageously and
intellectually spread the gospel of Jesus Christ around the world; thereby
creating disciples of Jesus Christ (Matthew 28: 19-20). Our vision is to create
and provide an international platform through virtual and cyber space for
individuals to worship Jesus Christ while transforming their lives (Romans
12:2). I must honestly say many people laughed at the idea initially, however,
the response and reception has been phenomenal. We have over 100K Followers on
Facebook and almost 300 members around the world in less than 6 months! Our aim
is to continue to walk in our gifts and purpose while helping others to do the
same. Our ultimate goal is to save souls. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Sensuality and sexuality are important to
relationships. What role does sensuality play in your relationship? And, how
are ensuring that the flame stays alive? <span style="color: #6600cc; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Elle</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">:
Sensuality plays a BIG role in our relationship. I realize this isn’t and
shouldn’t be everything about our relationship, but it is high on my list!
Being able to spend intimate time with Doc is imperative! Being able to
release, relax and relate to tosh keeps our FIRE burning. We need that to feel
secure in our relationship. Touch brings out vulnerability, honesty and LOVE!
We have to be creative to have this, so it’s not often present, however the
creativity makes it more interesting and worth the wait. I love, love, love our
moments of togetherness and I appreciate them all the more when we are in the
moment.</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Tosha</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: Sensuality is very important. Me being
the dominant person in our relationship, I have to remember to be sensual and
intimate at times. I sometimes take for granted that need for sensuality and
intimacy in our relationship. I’m learning to take time out for “us” and be
sensual and intimate for building our relationship. One of our biggest
challenges is learning to work around the schedules of our children. Smile. We
have to “get it in, when we can!” Lol! (She’s going to get me for saying that).
But seriously, any couple with children knows that the kids run the house (not
literally) and our schedules fluctuate depending on what’s on their agenda. We
also have a child with special needs who is up at “o-dark-thirty!” So we are
learning to get sleep when we can (usually when she sleeps). So our sensuality
is built around these variables as well. Again, and area we are constantly
working on and trying creative things to make it work.</span></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizkmagFFp3hXUwdEyIL99x2k39dCkl1E4_YPOVshjFqkzBPQagKVeULx6OLNLdnKataNKDsmc2-6jNaNODvE9n2suCg63lELLeJ_TV3VPqQPLeZPZXvPyKBORFnzBxki8Iq0ko2wQdOvdq/s1600/2015-02-21_9-23-41.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizkmagFFp3hXUwdEyIL99x2k39dCkl1E4_YPOVshjFqkzBPQagKVeULx6OLNLdnKataNKDsmc2-6jNaNODvE9n2suCg63lELLeJ_TV3VPqQPLeZPZXvPyKBORFnzBxki8Iq0ko2wQdOvdq/s1600/2015-02-21_9-23-41.png" height="400" width="393" /></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"></span></b><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Every relationship has rules that
support the union. Even if the rules are not stated, they are understood. What
are your Relationship Rules and how do your rules support your relationship?<span style="color: #6600cc; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"> Tosha</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: I would say the stated (and unstated)
rule that guides our relationship is that quitting is not an option. We are in this
for the long haul and are committed to making our relationship work. God put us
together and that is the basis, the foundation if you will, for our
relationship. This helps our relationship because we know that we have one
another’s back, no matter what.</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #6600cc; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Elle</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: I believe our relationship rules are
to set boundaries; give what you expect to get; two heads are better than one;
sound it out; laughter is the best medicine; mind your manners; fight right and
DATE night. Also, when the going gets tough, the tough get going...to therapy!
We are avid believers in therapy…it works!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>All of the above support our relationship as guidelines to follow to
stay true to ourselves and to one another. For example: sound it out is communication!
Talking about the not so fun topics like money, religion, raising kids and
fidelity usually end up being the most valuable. Another is mind your manners,
‘Please, Thank you and you’re welcome’ can go a long way in helping your
partner remember that you respect and love them and don’t take them for
granted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Date night, is showing subtle
ways you love, admire and appreciate them. Quality time spent is mandatory for
every couple to connect!!!</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">What 1 word characterizes your love for
her and why?<span style="color: #6600cc; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"> Tosha</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: The one word that characterizes my
love for my baby is Angel. She’s my personal God given angel that God has
assigned me to take care of while here on earth. She’s assigned to do the same
for me and that is why I love her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b><span style="color: #6600cc;">Elle</span></b>: I have two words…I know the question
calls for just one but if it’s ok, I have to give two (smile). One word that
characterizes my love for Tosh is ADORE - Why? Because I love, cherish,
treasure and consider her to be my PRIZE! The second is ANGEL - because she’s a
person of exemplary conduct or virtue. The definition according to google says,
‘an angel is a spiritual being believed to act as an attendant, agent, or
messenger of God’. I know without a shadow of a doubt my wife is my personal
messenger from God. I have grown spiritually simply because she’s in my life.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Relationships teach us so much about
partnership. Based on your own experience, what advice would you give to other
couples?<span style="color: #6600cc; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"> Tosha</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: The advice I would give to other
couples is to always keep God in your relationship. Stays focused and committed
to “not giving up,” and always communicate. Make time for date night. Laugh
often, love freely. Finally, keep people out of your business. <b><span style="color: #6600cc;">Elle</span></b>: The advice I would like to give other
couples is to keep our heavenly father first! Stay grounded in his word and a
family that prays together stays together. Commit to making it work, giving up
is not an option. Love freely, laugh, spend quality time and DATE your
spouse/partner. Schedule time to converse, the art of listening goes a very
long way. Lastly, keep others out of your RELATIONSHIP!</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">What has your relationship taught you
most about yourself? And were you surprised about what you learned? <span style="color: #6600cc; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Elle</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: My relationship has taught me that
it’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to relax, take a break and put me first. I’m
learning to be patient with adults and to share my feelings. My relationship
shows me daily how truly blessed I am. Being married to the busiest woman on
the planet has placed me on a fast track to my destiny. Growing in Christ and
learning my spiritual gifts through my daily counseling with my Pastor have
been the best part of merging our lives together. I believe my wife was created
to assist in showing me my life can and will be great as I embark on a new
journey. Doc is the missing piece to my puzzle. We fit, work and are greater
together. God has blessed us, our union, our children and our footsteps are
ordered in his holy name. Who would have thought…ME…a First Lady?! I claim it
in the mighty name of Jesus, thanks my love ;)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><b><span style="color: #6600cc;">Tosha</span></b>: My relationship has taught
me that I am capable of being and giving love freely. I’ve learned that I don’t
have to do things on my own, and that God created Elle to help me conquer the
mighty vision he’s given me for my life. And, I believe I was created to do the
same for my wife.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">What do you hope your legacy will be as a
couple?<span style="color: #6600cc; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"> Tosha</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">: Our legacy will be that our family,
the world, and society in general will be better off because of our existence.
Our hope is that couples will know there is “hope” for a successful
relationship especially in the LBGTQ community. I pray that we will be
remembered as having “lived life to the fullest” collectively and that we were
the epitome of real love. <b><span style="color: #6600cc;">Elle</span></b>: We
hope our legacy will be that our ‘Healthy Couples’ group, our virtual church
KIMVC, our children and families will live productive, healthy and spiritual
God fearing lives after us.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Tosha, you are a new author,
philanthropist and a radio host? Can you share more about your endeavors? And
how can others support your efforts? </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">Wow, I guess I
never looked at myself as a philanthropist; however, it seems that’s what my
life and legacy are morphing into. The Dr. Tosha Meredith Foundation exists to
provide financial literacy to children between the ages of 5 and 18. The
foundation also provides food, clothing, and shelter to needy children and
their families internationally, primarily in Africa. The foundation is a
passion of mine and collectively Elle and I are looking forward to providing
additional resources to the community both nationally and internationally.
Elle’s foundation, Aje’s Angels exists to help families with children with
special needs identify resources available to them. We are a service driven
family and we work very hard to ensure that we give back to our communities
both financially and physically.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I’m excited
about the books I’ve written and am super excited about my memoir that will be
released in a few weeks. My series, “<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Get
In The Flow</b>” is a compilation of short books that help individuals become
their best. The first, “<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Get In the Flow
– Seven Principles to Becoming A Wealthy Christian”</b> is my version of a
pocket book to spiritual wealth. I wanted to create something that individuals
could read on the bus, in the taxi, or on a plane ride across the country. Many
people think the book is about getting rich or financial success; however, it’s
more about getting spiritually connected to God and utilizing those connections
to position yourself for financial increase. The second book, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">“Get In the Flow – Seven Keys To The Kingdom”</b>
is a pocket book, a guide if you will to gaining access to the “Kingdom.” It
provides guidance for individuals seeking to gain knowledge on how to live a
Kingdom centered life. Both books are biblically based and combine my life
stories with scripture, Christ centered principles. The next book in the
series, “<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Get In The Flow – Think Like A
Millionaire”</b> is just about complete. This is a combination of “practical”
and “spiritual” principles to reduce debt and live financially responsible life
while focusing on spiritual principles. I have basically added practicality to
the spiritual tools in the first book. Finally, my memoir, “<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Didn’t Ask, Didn’t Tell – The Life of A Gay
Christian Soldier”</b> is about my life of serving in silence in the military
for almost 25 years. I discuss my history of molestation, growing up in the
black church, and being gay during the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell era. It’s a
phenomenal read and I’m so excited to finally complete this work that I’ve been
engaged in since 2010.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQXjSsGX7bdhBVGHPhh9PzxPOqhGFt0HxKjc_0pZHir0AGPFpK96x5CkMc0f8b5EuUwnX_rRX3w-MLibOty9eNYzLF0WW_cwNN18lQnnaRXNOavaO0fqbqKJxqNVznMGmHXl0nUYaT9cKB/s1600/OvalTilt.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQXjSsGX7bdhBVGHPhh9PzxPOqhGFt0HxKjc_0pZHir0AGPFpK96x5CkMc0f8b5EuUwnX_rRX3w-MLibOty9eNYzLF0WW_cwNN18lQnnaRXNOavaO0fqbqKJxqNVznMGmHXl0nUYaT9cKB/s1600/OvalTilt.png" height="310" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">I do a weekly broadcast
on the “Live, Love, Laugh” Network. It’s a Blog Talk radio show where we
showcase individuals who are striving to transition to their next level of
success, whatever that level is for them. We also discuss current, real world
events on our “Tuesday Talk” show. I have a weekly morning show called “Monday
Morning Glory” which is a time of prayer, scripture, music, and motivation to
get the week started! It has been a true blessing and I am so humbled by the
platform God has given me/us. Elle and I also have a monthly broadcast we do
together called “Pillow Talk With Elle and Doc.” This show has gotten very good
response and we have a very nice following. We talk all things relationship on
this show and we collectively open up and allow our listeners into our personal
lives in an effort to help them (couples and singles) grow. The “Live, Love,
Laugh” network as grown tremendously over the last year and we are now
broadcasting on BlogTalk Radio as well as C.U.R.B. Radio out of Tucson, AZ.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>To learn more about Elle and Dr. Tosha, please visit their websites below:</strong></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.toshameredith.com/"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ToshaMeredith.Com</span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">KIMVirtualChurch.Org<br />BlogTalkRadio.Com/LiveLoveLaugh</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><strong>Books available for sell:</strong></span><br />
<span class="a-size-large" id="productTitle"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Get-Flow-Principles-Becoming-Christian/dp/099142591X">Get in the Flow: 7 Principles on Becoming a Wealthy Christian</a></span></div>
<span id="btAsinTitle"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Get-Flow-7-Keys-Kingdom-ebook/dp/B00OGQARVG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1424529912&sr=8-1&keywords=Get+In+The+Flow%3A+7+Keys+To+The+Kingdom">Get In The Flow: 7 Keys To The Kingdom</a></span><br />
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<img height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8a3KLgDsHZVWXLZkxcTBlh7MLvHoVj2E78_6s3DMHq6dqhimGRsdh2rLRNr4iQ1KY8KMFnNKugHQjWZhIG1Zsinr92HrQh6FMa7ii2PySJWfI9EXdRf3-XIWZdctMl_FW_T78usYdSkLn/s320/Rose+Bloom+II.gif" width="320" /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We thank you for sharing your love with us at </span><a href="http://www.createloveforwomen.com/"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Create Love</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">! Your story will encourage, inspire and uplift other couples. We wish you continued success and happiness.</span><a href="http://www.createloveforwomen.com/"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.createloveforwomen.com</span></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Lenore & Sandra </span></span></b></span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Rivers </span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Atlanta, Ga.</i></span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Where
did you meet and what were the initial attractions? <span style="color: red;">Lenore</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">: We met online and
over a period of time with the online chat, I asked Sandra to meet with me.
Sandra invited me over to her home in NJ and we developed a loving relationship
since that first date. Sandra and I are both creative artists, eclectic. We
love to club dance, to eat cuisine dining, are both from NY, enjoy hosting
parties, love our family, are loyal to our friends, love a good laugh, are home
bodies, and are extremely ambitious.</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Sandra</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">:
We met online. I initially reached out to Lenore to say that, although she was
not my type, I liked her profile, style of writing, and that I wished her luck
in her search. We became pen-pals of sorts as I was dating at the time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">You
have been together for over six years. First, congratulations. What advice
would you give to other couples and why? <span style="color: red;">Lenore</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">: I would not recommend
any one to move as quickly as we did. We moved in together after sixty days of
dating. Please date each other for at least two years, discuss everything under
the sun to better acquaint yourselves, and have fun….travel, spend time
together, with friends and family….just get to know each other before you move
in together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Sandra</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">: I would advise they proceed slowly,
cultivating a friendship while asking lots of questions. And know that you’re
under no obligation to continue if you’re feeling leery or uncomfortable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoX6snHCskI_aUilddv0EAtOrqaJ0b39gEXcTZnYQTXCo7PPHYA4A0_N2No53zHF950IINxWDoC8W6KkmiCRcc_E-FrW9_jqIMYJ8AhsI5GjNwIJG2RsrIg7p3OoHM-uXgMS6uV5w3keHL/s1600/L&S6.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoX6snHCskI_aUilddv0EAtOrqaJ0b39gEXcTZnYQTXCo7PPHYA4A0_N2No53zHF950IINxWDoC8W6KkmiCRcc_E-FrW9_jqIMYJ8AhsI5GjNwIJG2RsrIg7p3OoHM-uXgMS6uV5w3keHL/s1600/L&S6.png" height="400" width="190" /></a><b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">What
made you know that it was time to get married and how has being married changed
your relationship? <span style="color: red;">Sandra</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">: Well, Lenore brought
up living together after only a couple of months. I honestly believed it was
because she was unhappy with her living environment at that time. I knew that
it was way too soon having not known her for very long. She sensed my mistrust
of the idea, and in her haste AND chivalry proposed marriage in an attempt to
make me more comfortable…..that idea that this was not a fly-by-night
relationship. It was a romantic gesture as were others on her part and I
relented. For I am nothing if not a total romantic.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Lenore</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">:
Sandra stated she wanted the relationship to be meaningful and legal and that
sounded reasonable to me. I wanted to marry Sandra because I loved her, so I
proposed and she said yes. Marriage is a legally binding commitment and I take
it very seriously and it’s my first marriage. I vowed not to separate from her.
I am a runner by nature, so now I have to slow my impulse to flee whenever I
feel frustrated or afraid; I have to work through the challenges. I like the
idea of marriage, the commitment to love my wife for better or worse and the
emotional maturity challenges I experience daily. I am very responsible,
focused, steadfast, faithful, and deeply concerned about someone else now that
I married Sandra.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"><b>Getting
together is easy. Staying together is difficult. You have weathered many
transitions and storms? How did you
manage and what was the hardest part?</b> </span><b><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Lenore</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">:
I manage my emotions by talking to others, writing/ journaling, attending self-
help support groups, seeing a therapist, going to church fellowship, creating
visual artworks, staying focused on career goals, and creating a balance in my
relationship. It has been very difficult experiencing grief and loss. Sandra
lost her mother recently. When I met her she was recently divorced from her
former wife, and she had relocated to NJ from her hometown NY. I had to learn
to manage my emotions over a period of time, to establish a support network for
myself, and to set concrete boundaries with Sandra. It appears that Sandra
transfers her sadness, frustrations and anger as it relates to grief and loss,
unto the person closes to her (me). Our decision to retire to Georgia has been
daunting because the southern culture is very different from NY. Also my family resides in Georgia and has
been very supportive of us. Sandra appears to feel displaced and lonely, after
having lost her mother and her daughter lives four hours away. I believe our
recent church membership will give us additional support and spiritual strength
to continue to weather this storm. We love one another very much and that is
the glue that sustains us.</span></div>
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<b><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Sandra</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">:
The hardest part was dealing with the fact that there was someone else in Lenore’s
life almost immediately after our big union. Though I asked her on several
occasions {she denied it of course} and I told her several times that she was
free to be with this person if she desired, she continued to deny that there
was someone else. She denied it until the woman found me on FB and wrote a
devastatingly scathing message to me about “their” relationship and how I’d
better leave Lenore alone. Lmbo! I tell you I can laugh now but at the time it
was heart-wrenching. Particularly when my previous marriage had ended from
infidelity. It took a lot to get through this period - God, good friends,
counseling, love and a fighting spirit on both our parts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How
do you deal with and face challenges (family acceptance, money differences,
etc.) that might come up in your relationship? <span style="color: red;">Sandra</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">: I deal with
everything by being honest; first and foremost with myself. I have an open kind
heart but I also live by the courage of my convictions. My credo is “just do
it” you know, like Nike. Though I will say that family situations are very
difficult on many levels. Some are outright homophobic and some still pretend
that Lee and I are two single roommates. I tend to stay away from situations
where I cannot honestly be myself and I don’t deny that it hurts on occasion<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvaiz4PJmfjBKwWP5INGKZf3sHV3owW6faSWy6g6FOeSZ2-T3eEkp3Vy1yc7gFINWl31LEUn7blHwYE7AbsWyP192_C_h9gWZ1k_kZdla-U_BpgGKz05h8PO_LYWixAVv5M26M68zPz3q4/s1600/L&S3.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvaiz4PJmfjBKwWP5INGKZf3sHV3owW6faSWy6g6FOeSZ2-T3eEkp3Vy1yc7gFINWl31LEUn7blHwYE7AbsWyP192_C_h9gWZ1k_kZdla-U_BpgGKz05h8PO_LYWixAVv5M26M68zPz3q4/s1600/L&S3.png" height="240" width="320" /></a><b><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Lenore</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">:
We talk, yell and scream about it; and tackle each challenge together because
we are both type A personalities and stubborn as bulls. Sandra does not let
anything kick her to the floor because she is a warrior by nature. She will
fight to the end to get what she wants. I am very driven, hardworking,
extremely ambitious, loyal, and trustworthy sometimes to a fault. I am also
very easy going, popular, very close to my family, loving and kind hearted.
Sandra does not believe I demonstrate the above mentioned characteristics with
her often enough and she makes no bones letting me know this. I struggle with
being openly affectionate and touchy feely with Sandra since we relocated to
the South. Sandra has and will continue to fight for her relationship with me
and I am extremely focused on doing better when it comes to intimacy with my
wife. Our strong love for each other and my unwillingness to give in to failure
when it comes to intimacy continues to keep us together. We are both out to our
families and it’s been a challenge for Sandra, because of folk’s religious
beliefs. My family totally accepts me, because I came out when I was very
young, and over the years they finally came to accept my sexuality. I am
Sandra’s rock with regards to coming out issues.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">I
know faith is important to both of you. How do you practice your faith as a
couple and what role does spirituality play in your relationship? <span style="color: red;">Lenore</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">: I love to fellowship,
to study theology, to pray, meditate, and follow spiritual principles on a
daily basis. We pray at the dinner table and I always encourage Sandra to go to
God for refuge and comfort, as it relates to her grief. Sandra is a believer and has a strong
relationship with God, she experiences her spirituality through gospel music
and expressing her feelings openly (crying etc.).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Sandra</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">:
As a couple we practice by prayer and meditation…believing in a higher power,
and attending church together when we can.
I am very spiritual and I know that that higher power has brought us
both through some tremendous struggles. This is where Lee and I have never ever
disagreed and though we are two entirely different personalities, it is in
spirituality that our heart and mind connect
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVEugP1jWD2T4bd3dHjlLaOVnz0okQxxRcrFZNpT_hYTr6bvprvJe4Polx2tmfal3ul2V5KNGq37I-c5N5QlQPJRfhMLXDvCH8fTrvCAs7VXbwi7OxsbqP1qcZIxz_T1rSKlq8M-jysvai/s1600/L&S4.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVEugP1jWD2T4bd3dHjlLaOVnz0okQxxRcrFZNpT_hYTr6bvprvJe4Polx2tmfal3ul2V5KNGq37I-c5N5QlQPJRfhMLXDvCH8fTrvCAs7VXbwi7OxsbqP1qcZIxz_T1rSKlq8M-jysvai/s1600/L&S4.png" height="400" width="170" /></a><b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">After
6 years, how do you keep the fires burning? What role does sensuality play in
your relationship? <span style="color: red;">Sandra</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">: Well, right now the
fires are more like smoldering embers. I think it has a lot to do with hormonal
changes -- peri-menopause and actual menopause. There are also a side of life’s
stressors thrown in - job changes, moving several times, health issues, and
various family crises. Sex begins on a mental level and with all we have to
deal with on a daily basis, well…But I will say that for me intimacy is just as
important if not more, than sex. Lee and I have that in spades. We have
intimate rituals like dancing in any room of the house at any moment….sometimes
in the morning between our second cups of coffee. Or, when we’re in separate
rooms writing or watching TV and Lee calls, “Honey! When are you coming to bed
so we can watch a movie” lol! Yes. A movie…. not sex. But we are together
sharing a movie experience, with a lot of handholding, fondling and tender
kisses. Though she and I used to swing from the chandeliers, (can I say that) I
love that we have intimacy on a regular basis.
But now that we have settled in GA and our minds have quieted a bit I
think the glowing embers will ignite again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Lenore</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">:
It’s been very difficult to say the least. Our fire has been out for over a
year now and we are determined to ignite again! We decided we would date one
another again, spend as much time together and learn through intimate moments
what turns us on and fan the fire again. Sensuality plays a major role in our
relationship. We are both very sexual beings and sex has been dead for way too
long so that is a priority for us in 2015. We do hug, kiss, hold hands, and
dance at home quite often. There have
been so much grief and loss challenges as of late, then the move to the South,
the culture shock, career challenges, and financial challenges; we have been
holding on through the grace of God. We love one another deeply and we want the
relationship to endure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Every
relationship develops “Relationship Rules” that support your union. What are
your spoken and unspoken rules? And how did those rules form? <span style="color: red;">Lenore</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">: We must be faithful!
I broke our trust by cheating early in the relationship and I promised I would
be faithful for the duration of our marriage. Rules……Develop trust, effective
communications, no violence ever, no cheating, must respect one another, allow
each to have their space, be fully responsible for our financial decisions, and
put each other first. These rules were formed over the years as we developed
our relationship and realized over time that these particular rules needed to
be adhered to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Our
relationship has been a work in progress, Sandra is an extrovert and I’m an
introvert, Sandra has excellent communication skills and I prefer to quietly go
along to get along. </span><b><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Sandra</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">:
I would say love, loyalty and respect.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPC0J45MTvh2ob7CqXnAJIj_WxrFcLivr-yqTgw1dcb5i8jHEAWClEZje1B4psJDIQqlYqpe_PDWrP4hJvhOFiuPG3Yqa_kt_q-BBTNVuxALtIPoMtjIoaIoumTyGWBDXFFaDZodD5m9be/s1600/L&S5.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPC0J45MTvh2ob7CqXnAJIj_WxrFcLivr-yqTgw1dcb5i8jHEAWClEZje1B4psJDIQqlYqpe_PDWrP4hJvhOFiuPG3Yqa_kt_q-BBTNVuxALtIPoMtjIoaIoumTyGWBDXFFaDZodD5m9be/s1600/L&S5.png" height="286" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Every
relationship challenges us in different ways. What did you have to learn and
un-learn to love her fully? <span style="color: red;">Sandra</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">: I had to learn how to
deal with someone in recovery for the most part and how to keep loving no
matter what. Lee does not like to appear vulnerable which to me part of being
open to being loved is. I am very intuitive and observant so I knew this from
the beginning and accepted her with all of her idiosyncrasies and foibles. I
dare say that it took her quite a bit longer to accept mine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Lenore</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">:
I am learning not to run, to remain open minded, to resist shutting down, to be
clear with the ladies that I am married and fully committed to my spouse, to
communicate more, to take risk with intimacy, and share my feelings more often.
Sandra is very passionate and speaks her mind, no holds barred. I am cautious,
calculating, and slow to demonstrate vulnerability. Sandra has been very
patient with me and I’ve developed tougher skin with regards to Sandra’s words.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiARx8XASMe0uyTI4CXJFAYZ9Q_LzD5hxIS2l2PjFC-u-dIX6QQasxWSO_NWpSCEwmOd03Z8k0kcYBgWHa4hUH0EyaNFvSDbyfb9IYaT3BfBvkf4-Hx0OT0aLZSoz2g6WcX8827H9mxBBZs/s1600/L&S2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiARx8XASMe0uyTI4CXJFAYZ9Q_LzD5hxIS2l2PjFC-u-dIX6QQasxWSO_NWpSCEwmOd03Z8k0kcYBgWHa4hUH0EyaNFvSDbyfb9IYaT3BfBvkf4-Hx0OT0aLZSoz2g6WcX8827H9mxBBZs/s1600/L&S2.png" height="400" width="264" /></a><b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">What
has your relationship taught you most about yourself? And her? </span></b><b><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Lenore</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">: I realize I am a wounded soul who has slowly
picked up the pieces and is becoming a whole person again. I am a very loving,
caring, nurturing, giving, and a selfless individual who just needs to let go
of my fear of being hurt. Sandra is the same way I am, except she is not afraid
of being vulnerable with me and will not give up her fight to win all the love
I have to give. <b><span style="color: red;">Sandra</span></b>: I think it’s
taught us both how “to accept” and that there are different ways of loving for
different people</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">What
one word most captures her essence and your love? <span style="color: red;">Sandra</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">: Mutual admiration.
Oh…sorry that was two words right? Ok then…strength. <b><span style="color: red;">Lenore</span></b>: Passionate! Sandra is fiercely passionate, a warrior,
and a fantastic artist. My love is DEEP</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">What
will be your legacy as a couple? <span style="color: red;">Sandra</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">: Hmm…I believe we’re
still working on that. Stay tuned. <b><span style="color: red;">Lenore</span></b>:
Our legacy as a couple will be that we endured the lowest valley of grief and
loss; re-committed ourselves in a loving committed relationship, and co-owned a
successful not-for-profit community-based business dedicated to Sandra’s
mother!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8a3KLgDsHZVWXLZkxcTBlh7MLvHoVj2E78_6s3DMHq6dqhimGRsdh2rLRNr4iQ1KY8KMFnNKugHQjWZhIG1Zsinr92HrQh6FMa7ii2PySJWfI9EXdRf3-XIWZdctMl_FW_T78usYdSkLn/s320/Rose+Bloom+II.gif" width="320" /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We thank you for sharing your love with us at </span><a href="http://www.createloveforwomen.com/"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Create Love</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">! Your story will encourage, inspire and uplift other couples. We wish you continued success and happiness.</span><a href="http://www.createloveforwomen.com/"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.createloveforwomen.com</span></a></div>
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<b><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;"><div style="display: inline !important;">
<b>Honoring the “We’re Just Dating Stage”</b></div>
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“An often heard truism is that it takes at least seven months for the representative to leave the room<!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75"
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</v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]--> and for the real person to show up.” Many of us have found this to be true. If we have been unlucky in love we can pull out a cache of dating experiences, an arsenal of hindsight, and reveal the keloids from heartbreak shrapnel. For some, past relationships can range from Nightmare on Elm Street horror and trauma to the less dramatic and less taxing, “round peg in square hole” or “we just weren’t a good fit.” No matter the previous levels of discomfort, we can still file the relationships or stunted dating experiences into investments that did not yield a life partner. How long did it take for us to see the representative leave the room? Many of us proceeded forward anyway because we had already invested too much to walk away. Too much what of what? Perhaps too much time, money, hope, optimism often by way of denial, to walk away. How could we have preserved ourselves and our sanity if we stayed just dating longer before proclaiming we were in a relationship?<br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">The Seven Month Facade</span></b></div>
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Are seven months, or if we are going to be honest, much less than 7 months truly enough time to find out what you need to know in order to move into a commitment with someone? Depending on the weight in which we regard our relationships, there is significantly a much greater level of commitment and investment associated with relationships of those seeking something long-term as compared to just dating. This transition from “we’re just dating” to “we are in a relationship” is usually marked with some level of formality, and with good reason. Thinking back to when we were 9, we remember the little folded piece of paper asking, “will you go with me? <img src="file:///C:/Users/L5PCAC~1/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtml1/01/clip_image004.gif" /> (check the box) YES or NO” In high school it was symbolized by wearing our amore’s letterman jacket so that not only did we know we belonged to each other, but the whole world (or at least our peers within the high school walls) knew as well. As women loving women, all too often, blurred lines remove the formal transitions from dating to relationship to marriage. Not only are the lines blurred, but the speed in which we move through each stage seems stereotypically fast with us. There is this rush towards the sense of shelter, security and propriety of a relationship and towards the greater destination of marriage of some sort. Often, our desire to reach the end goal is despite the benefits of each step of the journey and the possibility that the journey is not meant to be taken with our most recent dating partner.<br /><br /><img src="file:///C:/Users/L5PCAC~1/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtml1/01/clip_image006.jpg" />If seven months is the magic number for the intentional or unintentional façade to fall, then anything less than seven months of dating is still the precursor to deeper levels of the getting to know you phase; a phase in which no major commitments are required. Would our greater comfort levels with extended times of the just dating phase allow us to avoid the all too familiar, “one second she was this and then all of the sudden she became that!” “That,” being the exact opposite of who we thought she was-like day and night. One second she was so giving and sweet and less than a year later, she was sucking me dry.” “At first she seemed so loyal and all about me and less than a year later, she was sniffing the air every time another woman walked by.” “Low and behold, she was a go-getter, working and going to school, but the moment we moved in together, she said she needed a break from work and I never saw her crack open a book or write a paper for class! Of course, I had to foot all of the bills during her break.”<br /><br />The flipside of people putting their best face forward and hiding their flaws are those who just put it all out there because they choose to keep it real. They say, “I lay my issues on the line and I am completely transparent from day one!” Those individuals should be applauded for their candidness, however, the cerebral understanding of the issues being relayed by mouth is incomparable to the shared experience of those issues-when we are actually walking through the fire, so to speak. “She told me she had anger issues but I never thought that would translate into her laying her hands on me.” “She told me she liked the finer things and to be spoiled by her mate. I never imagined that would be the sole depth of our relationship.” “She said her family had issues but that she was down for them no matter what. How was I to know her family and their issues would be affecting our lives, our bank accounts, and our personal space on a daily basis?”<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Visualizations vs. Delusions</span></b></div>
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So often many of us are deluded by the temporary high that newness provides. We are hopeful <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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and expectant. We have spent copious amounts of time creating images in our mind’s eye for whatwe want and deserve. We’ve envisioned this ideal just so, then she comes along. Immediately, insertnew woman into the picture in our minds, overlooking the obvious mismatches and ill-fits. If the new woman possesses even just a few of the qualities and characteristics that we have envisioned that the right woman for us would have, then she must be the one. Hopefulness in this instance, distorts our perceptions. Additionally, many of us are also affected by deep levels of loneliness which can also refract our view of things when an opportunity to end the loneliness arises due to a new dating interest. Whether it be hopefulness or loneliness, both states of being can have a very real effect on our ability to judge a situation with equal levels of openness and objectivity.<br /><br /><img src="file:///C:/Users/L5PCAC~1/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtml1/01/clip_image007.jpg" />In our desire or active search for mates, when we find ourselves with the potential for the relationship that we desire we jump on it, throw ourselves into it, prepare to fall in love donning our rose colored glasses. Rose colored glasses that all too soon crack a lens. Once we’ve gotten the first case of the butterflies we want more and more, like our favorite dish. Attempting to resist the urge for gluttony, but those cravings for togetherness have us moving full steam ahead, giving away so much of ourselves and often without reservations. We believe the best in people and often times our wanting and beliefs match stories that we are fed by our new interest. We simply see what we want to see because we want to. So we proceed, fast in, fast out to find ourselves right back to where we started-with another notch in our belt, another line spoken of “how did I get here,” rubbing our temples, breathing sighs of relief, or lamenting the demise of yet another experience. <br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Insanity is…Well, You Ought to Know by Now<img src="file:///C:/Users/L5PCAC~1/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtml1/01/clip_image009.jpg" /></span></b></div>
<br />Quantitatively speaking, at some point deductive reasoning kicks in and that’s when things start looking up for our relationship forecasts. A combination of weariness from hitting brick walls, investments yielding poor kickbacks, broken hearts, public embarrassment, and many other displeasing outcomes of the “rush to relationship” take their tolls. It becomes almost foolish for a woman with much experience to continue to point the finger. We have to decide to change how we do things and how we present our hearts, even those of us who are practitioners of vulnerability and wear our hearts on our sleeves exercise responsibility for ourselves in new ways. We will not be taken, nor will we give everything away. We begin to sound like this “…what I do have is a very particular set of skills. Skills that I have acquired over a long period of time.” The allure of the love drug loses its appeal, the intoxication of a million fluttering butterflies is no longer worth the risk of extending so much of ourselves too soon. It becomes time that we start using not only our hearts, but our heads as well, by reconsidering the significance and benefits of just dating and by utilizing this period for all that it is worth.<br /><br /><img src="file:///C:/Users/L5PCAC~1/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtml1/01/clip_image011.jpg" /> With all of this experience under our belts, we begin to get smart about it. Moving on not just with more clarity on who we don’t want and what characteristics we do want in the next one, but with lessons learned about ourselves. Lessons about areas of our own needed growth that we can focus on to make us better partners for our future Loves. Hopefully, we’ve gained more usable information on our comfort zones and how far we are willing to step outside of them. Are we willing to date women with young children again or have we decided that we unapologetically prefer not to? Are will willing to be honest with the next woman about our previous struggles with anger, or drug use, or overspending, overeating and what level of therapy and corrective actions we are in the process of applying? Are we going to be willing to expose ourselves to the type of woman who is able to see us and challenge us? Are we willing to date a woman who will call us out on areas that we may need to improve upon or are we going to remain guarded and living on the surface for fear of discomfort? Do we hide the truth because we are afraid that the next one will use the information against us? Are we willing to date someone who makes minimum wage, who is differently abled, who does not have a college degree, who does not make six figures? Are we willing to communicate in a way that encourages growth, healing and health or are we going to cut the tree down at the base with our tongues the first time we perceive our new love interest to have hurt us?<br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Becoming Comfortable with the Unknown</b></div>
</b></span><br /> If we decide to step outside of our comfort zones for whatever reason, time needs to be allotted for adjustment. Getting it right with the new one is the goal. For many of us, a life partner is our intended destination. With the newness comes a level of zeal. The excitement of a true connection is on the horizon. However, those of us with enough experience, also carry the inverse of zeal; weariness. How many times have we heard, “At my age,” “I been through too much to deal with _______ (fill in the blank),” “After all I’ve been through, I wonder if there is even someone out there for me?” At some point we may have even asked God, our mother, our friends, or even an ex, “what is wrong with me? Why can’t I seem to find my mate?” But, then comes spring-another chance to do it all over again. Here she comes, and with her comes a new opportunity to utilize our experience. Let us not waste it with the insanity of doing the same exact things in the same exact ways again. <br /><br />As we move forward with our new interest, we understand that she is just that-an interest and not a guarantee. She is a hope and a possibility. She may be worth the world, but she is not worth everything we have right away. Prudence and preservation are key. We know what we are willing and not willing to deal with. We take our expressions of love slower because we want to make sure that we even like her seven months from now. Our professions of togetherness can be placed on hold because the pressure of togetherness is much too heavy a weight to bear and unfair to the youth of our dating experience. Nor are our public proclamations of togetherness necessary right away, no matter how many times we are seen out together and encouraged by well-meaning onlookers who want us to have somebody. <br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="font-size: x-large;">Four Seasons</b></div>
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The goal is not to have someone on our arms just for show, but to experience the adjustments, bargains, explorations, negotiations and growth together, in private, as we have the right to non-disclosure at any stage of our interactions. We move slower because not only are we being responsible, but we are being reasonable. Holding each other at enough high regard to allow time for patience and practice to see if we can create our own personal recipe for a satisfying future relationship. In our new experience we allot more time to explore how well we work together or not. This is the necessary work of the dating stage in which our only investment is to be fully present to engage with each other and consider if we are able to negotiate life and togetherness in ways that are healthy, healing, and harmonious for our spirits. This applies for those of us seeking a fulfilling long-term union. <br /><br />Just dating is an amazing stage if we are prepared with the wealth gained from previous experience and introspection. It’s a special and necessary period that should not be rushed through with the goal in mind to be in a relationship. To rush through the process would be like licking the icing off of cake batter. What a relief to know that in dating there are no guarantees, no pressure and all that is required is to honor ourselves and each other’s unique experiences while navigating the possibilities or deciding after considerable review and discussion that it’s best to go our separate ways. Whether we wait seven months to see if we can deal with the real or we just date for at least four seasons before we graduate to the stage of a relationship, being in the present each day and giving our best is the investment and the pay-off.<div>
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<b>By Najah Rodgers</b></div>
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<b><a href="http://createloveforwomen.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;">TAKE THE JOURNEY WITH US...SEPTEMBER 2015</span></a></b></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03695264235687315562noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567195873604332557.post-86173175469741850332015-01-30T17:02:00.000-08:002015-02-02T08:04:46.599-08:00Happy Couple Highlight: Kacey and Chwanda<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe9eWAwY1xYBLWUWXn0NTHSa_3MMWXJGNcuXqWbSurt5aF5WulrR8ry8945s6qiGqu5Yxhar0idZndcmBeTzgNPz_8pJgrBhR5V1xg0JLTRm8DJ09JtmMa6ESI_p_nIp4jsstt_hvcWxHI/s1600/Savannah.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe9eWAwY1xYBLWUWXn0NTHSa_3MMWXJGNcuXqWbSurt5aF5WulrR8ry8945s6qiGqu5Yxhar0idZndcmBeTzgNPz_8pJgrBhR5V1xg0JLTRm8DJ09JtmMa6ESI_p_nIp4jsstt_hvcWxHI/s1600/Savannah.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe9eWAwY1xYBLWUWXn0NTHSa_3MMWXJGNcuXqWbSurt5aF5WulrR8ry8945s6qiGqu5Yxhar0idZndcmBeTzgNPz_8pJgrBhR5V1xg0JLTRm8DJ09JtmMa6ESI_p_nIp4jsstt_hvcWxHI/s1600/Savannah.png" height="400" width="301" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong>Kacey Frierson<br />& <br />Chwanda Nixon</strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><em>Jonesboro, Ga.</em></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><strong>Hi ladies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How long have you been
together?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #7030a0;">Chwanda</span></strong></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">:<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i></b>About
1,743 days (give or take a few days) which is about 4 years, 9 months, and 11
days up to today<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">. </span></i><span style="color: #7030a0;">Kacey</span></b><span style="color: #7030a0;">:</span> It’ll be 5 years in April...lol</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>Chwanda,
wow…That’s says a lot that you know the exact number of days that you have been
together. </strong><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><strong>J</strong></span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>So, how did you two meet? <span style="color: #7030a0;">Chwanda</span></strong></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">:</span><b><i><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></i></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We met at a comedy club
that I (Chwanda) was an open mic host for. We actually had our first
conversation talking at a mutual friends get together<b><i><span style="color: #7030a0;">. </span></i></b></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-size: 12pt;">Kacey</span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;">:
When we first met at the comedy club, it was just a “hi” and “bye”
situation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing spectacular. She knew
my sister and I went to the club with my sister.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then a few months later we reconnected at a
house party at a mutual friend’s house.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">When
you reconnected, what was the initial attraction?</span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Kacey</span></b>:
For me it was her conversation. The way she spoke.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was/is smart. And it came across in our
conversations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plus she is a poet, so
she has a gift with words. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Chwanda</span></b>:<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"> It would be Kacey's attentiveness to my needs, wants and to my every
spoken word. It would be like there was no one else in the room or area around
us. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">After
being together for 4 years, what would you say is the key to the success of
your relationship? <span style="color: #7030a0;">Chwanda</span></span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;">: </span><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">For me,
it’s the knowing that we are two different people who do things in two
different ways and recognizing that we have to try and bring the two ways
together to form an alliance and make it work. Agreeing to disagree and knowing
that it is okay if we do disagree as long as our disagreements do not turn into
arguments, fuss and fights….. Our willingness to compromise in situations
without causing changes to why we fell in love with each other. </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-size: 12pt;">Kacey</span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;">: Communication!! We talk about everything,
from minor, major, sad, funny, serious, silly; it doesn’t matter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Agreeing
to disagree is so important in relationships. Many times the ability to
disagree respectfully challenges so many couples. How do you do it? How you
deal with and face challenges that might come up in your relationship? </span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-size: 12pt;">Kacey</span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;">:
By not letting things linger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you
feel a certain way, you can be mad, sad, upset, whatever, but you have your
moment to be in those feelings, but then you have to be able to let it go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Harboring those ill feelings won’t change the
situation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pout, figure out a solution,
if there is one, and then move on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life
is too short to dwell over things beyond your control. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Chwanda</span></b>: </span><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Well,
first we pray and then we do our best to discuss everything and if we can’t
come up with a solution mutually, we “Let go and Let God!” </span><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As a
minister, I believe that spirituality is important and vital to every aspect of
our lives. What about you? What role does spirituality play in your
relationship?</span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Chwanda</span></b><span style="font-size: 16px; text-align: left;">: </span>We try to read our daily inspiration together
every morning to get us going. We pray separately and together. I find that it
helps to give me peace for the day! Kacey has a lot of faith -that's one of the
very things I found most attractive about her!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-size: 12pt;">Kacey</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">: I am very spiritual.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do things that will lift my spirits and if
I have nothing else, I have faith.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tons
of it!! Enough for my whole family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
KNOW we are going to be alright no matter what gets thrown at us!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If nobody else has us, God has us!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Spirituality
is important. But what are your thoughts about sensuality. What role does
sensuality play in your relationship? <span style="color: #7030a0;">Kacey</span></span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;">: Sensuality doesn’t
always mean physical. I love my wife’s gift of gab…those words!! We have a
bunch of children so we have to sneak it in where we can… words here, a touch
there, a phone call, an email…all of those add passion and keeps the spark from
going out. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Chwanda</span></b>:
</span><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I am a
very sensual person so I’m ALWAYS trying to touch and rub. I can NEVER get
enough of her! </span><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioofdFtulVPNXuivO8WZnJLWoWhM0PwmIw6pRYWTCOif9duAKANNXau_zQmgcp_mfaF-HOYWP20mNB7TOLliRRsHSlx8ugIwVj8smGzMrFbPP83kaYetofxTxUaSxaJIo2Ba4LFW6YDjGt/s1600/Multiphotos.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioofdFtulVPNXuivO8WZnJLWoWhM0PwmIw6pRYWTCOif9duAKANNXau_zQmgcp_mfaF-HOYWP20mNB7TOLliRRsHSlx8ugIwVj8smGzMrFbPP83kaYetofxTxUaSxaJIo2Ba4LFW6YDjGt/s1600/Multiphotos.png" height="397" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What
I most admire about you ladies is that you are mothers who are loving OUT loud.
But I almost admire that you are a blended family. How did you blend the
families and what advice would give to other couples?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Chwanda</span></b>: Between us we have 7 kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They met and got along very well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once we were living together, it just went
from there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Advice I would give: be
patient with each other because our teachings and how we raise our children are
different but ultimately the parents have to be at a consensus in all that we
do involving the children and the family. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Kacey</span></b>: We were VERY fortunate that all of the
kids got along! With 7 kids’ personalities plus 2 adult personalities trying to
mesh in 1 household is not without its difficulties.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trying to agree on 1 movie, or 1 dinner or 1
family outing can be trying at times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
advice: always be okay with compromise because everyone wants their voice to be
heard and have things go their way. But with communication and compromise you
can find a happy medium.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">What
advice would you give to other couples? <span style="color: #7030a0;">Chwanda</span></span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;">: </span><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">COMMUNICATE,
COMMUNICATE AND COMMUNICATE! Talk to each other. Tell how you feel no matter
how brutal it may seem or feel at the same time. Don’t get too defensive when
your partner is being brutally honest with you! You need that because the
moment you keep your true feelings inside and don’t express how you feel or
don’t consider how each other feels, you will begin to lose your sense of self
and the relationship will begin to slowly dissipate. Just watch how you talk to
the person, be honest, but watch your tone and how you come to them. Don’t be
sarcastic, do it with love; the love you had when you fell in love with them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-size: 12pt;">Kacey</span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;">:
Honesty is the best policy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have to
tell it even if they don’t want to hear it because sometimes pure honesty can
clear up situations and stop things from getting out of hand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you are honest with yourself about how
you feel about a situation or circumstance, it becomes that more easy to be
honest with your partner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And sometimes
in that honesty, your partner will have the same feeling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Honesty makes it easier to resolve issues
this way…or non-issues…lol <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLsAingAxmArm29PtybZmpjfCLnoagC9jTr4iaUu4lF7-97C2SBIN1fyaclQul1NiW_0NyyPeEefALiSjVAtII2sNTsjfOwu0wXZ9SitWD8J8x9IWPKvlj2hVLaBmbFg9WnzGBJZoYlhTv/s1600/Wave+and+Fade.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLsAingAxmArm29PtybZmpjfCLnoagC9jTr4iaUu4lF7-97C2SBIN1fyaclQul1NiW_0NyyPeEefALiSjVAtII2sNTsjfOwu0wXZ9SitWD8J8x9IWPKvlj2hVLaBmbFg9WnzGBJZoYlhTv/s1600/Wave+and+Fade.png" height="320" width="238" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I
love the idea of getting married in all of the states that support marriage
equality. How did you come up with the idea about getting married in different
states? And, how did you initiate the effort and get media attention?</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Chwanda</span></b>: I’ll let Kacey take that
one…lol. </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Kacey</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">: I’m all about living the most
epically awesome life EVER. You only get one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So if you are going to do something, my advice, DO IT BIG!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had initially planned to just go to New
York to get married after our civil union in Illinois (at the time marriage
equality had not passed in Illinois).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But the timing did not work out with work and school schedules for us to
go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I figured we could go for spring
break because the kids are out of school and we could take off work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I was planning the trip to New York,
another state passed marriage equality, then another. SO me and my grand ideas,
I’m like, well we could get married in those other states too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I did my research and found requirements
for each state and it took off from there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>To date we are legally married in New York, Connecticut, Maine, New
Hampshire, Vermont, Maryland, Massachusetts, Washington DC, New Jersey, Iowa
and Illinois-11 times. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As far as media attention, I set up
a website and then I did a lot of tweeting and posting on Facebook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And from retweets on Twitter and shares on
Facebook, different people started reaching out to us. That’s how the Out Magazine
story came about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The editor of the
magazine saw it and reached out. I actually tweeted to Mo’Nique after I saw an
interview of her movie where she stated she was ordained, and I asked her to
marry us and she said YES! So we worked it out and she did us in Iowa. I try to
make sure each wedding is unique in one way or another. With so many ideas in
my head, there is NO TELLING what I may try to pull with the next set of
weddings!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I make sure I constantly
update the website. I’m keeping track of the new marriage equality states and
constantly mapping out our next route. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not
sure how long it will take but our plan is to do all 50 states!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Blended
family, a national initiative, media attention…..When you reflect on your
relationship, what has your relationship taught you most about yourself?</span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Kacey</span></b>: That I can actually put
someone before me...to think of someone other than me first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still have my moments but all my thoughts
are what my wife would want to do or what would my wife think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love her enough to put her first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0;">Chwanda</span></b>:</span><b><i><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
</span></i></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">That is hard to maintain some sense of aggressiveness when you are
so sensitive…lol! {And}…. That I have to have love for myself in order to love
someone else! I have to be honest with myself in order to be honest with someone
in a relationship! </span><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You Can Connect with Kacey and Chwanda:</span></span></b></div>
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<br />
<a href="http://www.idomarathon.com/">www.idomarathon.com</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.idomarathon.blogspot.com/">www.idomarathon.blogspot.com</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/IDOMARATHON">www.facebook.com/IDOMARATHON</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.about.me/IDOMARATHON">www.about.me/IDOMARATHON</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.twitter.com/kaceygemini23">www.twitter.com/kaceygemini23</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.twitter.com/chwandascorpio">www.twitter.com/chwandascorpio</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/kaceygemini23">www.youtube.com/kaceygemini23</a><br />
<br />
google+: #idomarathon</div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWUUIZ4i7nJHH0-pmLeeFN9xb1oFF0FJ2W_jaZIQ6l000ceD3-i2tceT49p6LEj0LmhfMYqR-BSvN702bWKuEio7BdqxRT37-YpiFZoTRXzC5H9UbSxxoNlHKjmRl4zinMvjB-9Z9K6yRe/s1600/2015-01-17_17-56-06.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWUUIZ4i7nJHH0-pmLeeFN9xb1oFF0FJ2W_jaZIQ6l000ceD3-i2tceT49p6LEj0LmhfMYqR-BSvN702bWKuEio7BdqxRT37-YpiFZoTRXzC5H9UbSxxoNlHKjmRl4zinMvjB-9Z9K6yRe/s1600/2015-01-17_17-56-06.png" height="320" width="282" /></a><strong>Melissa & Vondalyn </strong></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">McQueen-Simmons</span></strong> </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong><em>Charlotte, NC</em></strong></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>I am always fascinated by how relationships start. Where did you meet and what were the initial attractions?</strong> <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Von:</strong></span> We met in Charleston, SC while both serving in the U.S. Army Reserves. Melissa was drilling at my unit while she was in undergrad. </span></div>
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<br />My initial attraction to Melissa was her infectious beautiful smile and femininity even in uniform. I actually admired her from a distance because I was serving “in the closet”.<br />
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<strong><span style="color: purple;">Melissa:</span></strong> I was initially attracted to the way Von’s Soldiers respected her. Her professionalism, mannerism, & poise commanded attention in the space that she was in and it didn’t hurt that she looked like a “well put together package” in uniform.<br />
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<strong>You have been together for 14 years. First, Congratulations. What advice would you give to other couples and why?</strong> <strong><span style="color: purple;"> Both:</span></strong> Thank you SharRon! It took almost 3 years for us to move into a relationship. Melissa was 19 and I was 29 when we met and I felt she was way too young to know what she wanted. Our advice to couples is that effective communication is the key. Age is a factor if you allow it to be. There are an abundance of young people who know exactly what they want and who they want in there life. Don’t focus on the person’s age instead listen to their heart and pay attention to their actions. Commitment is a life-long action; it is more than just a word. Once you truly commit to one another whether in a relationship or marriage then you must accept all of them and that include meeting people where they are - not trying to change them into what you want or need them to be. We give this advice because we realize as humans people change, some because of situations they may endure, physical or mental health stressors, deployments, faith challenges, even “growth” change people. Therefore, if you decide that you want to commit to someone it means that you are willing to take that life-long journey with him or her accepting what may come, what may go and what could be or not be. If you are not willing to embrace the changes that come with relationships then communicate that as well. Communicating effectively is always the key.<br />
<br /><strong>I so loved your answer because relationships are a journey, a journey filled with change. Congrats again. Getting together is easy. Staying together is difficult. You have weathered many transitions and storms. How did you manage and what was the hardest part? <span style="color: purple;">Melissa:</span></strong> Yes, we have weathered many storms. From the beginning, we have always managed a long-distance relationship. Our first major storm was returning from our individual yearlong deployments.<br />
<br /><span style="color: purple;"><strong>Von:</strong></span> 2003-2004, I was serving a tour in Honduras when Melissa received orders to go to Iraq, so we were separated for about 18 months communicating mainly via letters and some phone calls. When she returned from Iraq her level of patience had dwindled, there were some days I did not know how to verbally communicate with her. On several occasions in Iraq, she and her unit were under attack and she had seen things a 22 y.o should not have to see. It was a challenge to figure out how to verbally communicate with her face to face after 18 months of separation.<br /><br /><strong><span style="color: purple;">Melissa:</span></strong> When Von returned from Afghanistan, she was much more subdued from the romantic energetic bunny that I remembered. We managed to give each other space to adjust back into being home back on American soil. Allowing each other to process what we both endured during our deployments while simultaneously providing support, words of affirmation and affection to each other.<br /><br /><strong><span style="color: purple;">Von:</span></strong> The ultimate storm in our relationship was me having a difficult time accepting that I was a woman who loved women and believing that God could still love me. I struggled with my sexuality for almost 20 years because I grew up being told that it was wrong, it was a taboo subject, & nobody really talked about. My family & society said it was not of God so I would find myself hiding behind dates and boyfriends for years.<br /><br />One day I just up and broke it off with Melissa after being in a relationship with her for over 6 years. I told her that I was still struggling with this whole thing being right and of God and I should not still be feeling this way after all of these years.<br /><br /> The hardest part for me was leaving the love of my life because I loved God more and I was told that I could not love both of them. I broke her heart, I felt her pain in the conversations, and I felt that I had to leave the relationship because that would please God. When I first met Melissa, I told her about my struggles over the years with being with a woman and how I grew up hearing & believing it was wrong and that one day I could just wake up and walk out of her life because of this struggle. She said these words to me that I will never forget, “I understand how you feel, I love you, we will work through it. I will always be here for you. I am not going anywhere.” She was only 21 when she said this to me; I on the other hand was 32 years old.<br />
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<br /><strong><span style="color: purple;">Melissa:</span></strong> The hardest part for me was that for a long time Von cut all ties with me, no visits, no phone calls, or emails, that devastated me. I knew she had told me that this day could possibly come and I thought that I was prepared for it. I knew that I would respect her wishes, what I was not prepared for was being cut off completely as if I never existed. That hurt the most.<br /><br /> In order for me to manage that storm, I used an approach of wholeness that incorporates the mind, body, and spirit. I maintained my faith in God that God would put no more on me than I could bear. I sought therapy for the stability of my mental health, I consistently went to the gym, and I engaged in routine massage therapy. This design of wholeness also incorporated providing a network of support that was encouraging, understanding, and empowering during this difficult time in my life.<br /><br /><strong><span style="color: purple;">Us:</span></strong> Our advice for managing storms is to always communicate with your partner, explain what you are feeling, what you are going through, and what you need. Over our first 6 years together every time Von would get “that feeling”, we would talk it over, and I would give her space & time to work through it. I never pushed her or gave her an ultimatum because I always felt that she was “the one” and God placed her in my life, so I just left it in God’s hands and prayed that God would give her clarity.<br /><br /> <strong>How do you deal with and face challenges (family acceptance, money differences, etc.) that might come up in your relationship? <span style="color: purple;"> Von:</span></strong> I come from a family of 13 siblings and we are very close knit. My mother who is now 82 years old has always known even before I accepted that I was gay. In my early 20s, I denied it before I turned 30 we finally had a sit down conversation about it. Over the years, we just didn’t talk about it. After a life changing counseling session with Bishop Flunder five years ago, I called my mom and each of my siblings and told them that Melissa and I were together in a relationship, and had been for almost 9 years. (I included the time we separated; I call it my sabbatical period, lol). My nieces and nephews were more accepting than my siblings were.<br />
<br />Today, all of my family knows, 2 of my sisters attended our wedding, my oldest sister, who is 65 years old, walked me down the aisle, 5 of my nieces were in our wedding, and some of my cousins attended. Some of my siblings are very supportive of my relationship, when they call they also ask how Melissa is doing. Even though some of my family do not agree with me being in a same gender loving relationship I know that they love me.<br />
<br /><strong><span style="color: purple;">Melissa:</span></strong> I am thankful that my dad, mom, and brothers embrace and love me. To deal with the family acceptance challenge, I purposely built my own family because I am mindful that not all of my relatives embrace my same gender lovingness.<br />
<br /> The Finances etc. challenges: I realized that our age difference of nine years allowed Von to be at a different level of job security than I and at first, it was rather difficult to accept that she had more disposable income and could spend money on me and I couldn’t reciprocate the same way. However, I came to the realization that the money was not the deciding factor of success in our relationship.<br /><br /> We realize that we each bring different gifts to our relationship so whoever is better at doing something that’s who does it. (I.e. Von is better at managing our funds; she is very detailed and thorough when it comes to money. I am the organizer of our life so to say, such as appointments and travel arrangements; I enjoy taking care of the cars. Our relationship remains successful because we have realistic expectations of each other.<br />
<br /><strong>I know faith is important to both of you. How do you practice your faith as a couple and what role does spirituality play in your relationship?</strong> <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Both:</strong></span> We both love God with all of our being. As a couple we pray, worship and fast together as well as apart to maintain our individual relationship with God. Spirituality is a consistent reminder that God is omnipresent, God is everywhere, and it encourages us to see the God in ourselves as well as God moving in our relationship. It also allows us to know that we were created by God for a purpose and we bring our purpose into our relationship and beyond. Our spirituality reminds us of “what love is” and holds us accountable in our relationship.<br />
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<strong>After 14 years, how do you keep the fires burning? What role does sensuality play in your relationship? <span style="color: purple;">Von:</span></strong> We flirt with one another all of the time. We affectionately touch one another throughout every day. Melissa can be walking past me in the house and I would just brush against her and wink. It brings a smile to her face.<br /><br /> <strong><span style="color: purple;">Melissa:</span></strong> Von can be on her computer doing some work and I will spontaneously seduce her and make her stop what she is doing if even for five minutes. She loves it! Sometimes we wrestle which brings us in close proximity to one another to steal a kiss. We give each other words of affirmation all of the time; we say how beautiful and how sexy, the other is at any time of the day not just during the times that we want to make love. We are very affectionate, and practice intimacy all of the time.<br /><br /> <strong>Every relationship develops "Relationship Rules” that support your union? What are your spoken and unspoken rules? And how did those rules form?</strong> <span style="color: purple;"><strong> Both:</strong></span> We live by this slogan “Great Food, Great Sex, Live Life, Be Happy” <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Von:</strong></span> A spoken rule is honesty; always tell the truth even if it is going hurt. <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Melissa:</strong></span> We also express and acknowledge each other’s feelings even if we are not ready to discuss it in detail.<br /><br /> We process our thoughts differently. <strong><span style="color: purple;"> Melissa:</span></strong> I need to get it off my chest when the event occurs, I say what I have to say and be done with it. <span style="color: purple;"><strong> Von:</strong></span> I will shut down if I’m not ready to download. I either need a couple of hours or even a few days to process the situation and then I’m ready to communicate it. I’ve gotten better over the years and now I can discuss some issues right away. We know the importance of being heard and so we allow each other time and space to process and share when ready. It is definitely something we learned about each other in the early stages.<br /><br /> <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Both:</strong></span> Our unspoken rule is that we know each other well enough not to push each other’s buttons during times when we are most vulnerable and to never go to bed angry.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;"><strong>Von:</strong></span> One thing that worked for us in our “dating stage” was this thing called “confession session” that we created to take place at the end of the year. This allowed us to be open with one another about whatever we could not quite say at the time that something happened over the year. For instance, if Melissa thought or felt that someone was attracted to me or vice versa and I knew it but I chose to be in denial at the time, then I would confess that at the confession session.<br /><br /> <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Melissa:</strong></span> This strengthened our trust in each other to be able to be more open & honest as the years went by. Needless to say, we do not have those confession sessions any longer because we know how to effectively communicate at the time the event happens.<br /><br /> <strong>Every relationship challenges us in different way. What did you have to learn and un-learn to love her fully? <span style="color: purple;">Von:</span> </strong>I had to learn to be authentic and to love myself fully before I could possibly love her because Melissa was in nobody’s closet, lol! I had to un-learn being in charge of everything and recognize that I had a partner who could hold it down too. <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Melissa:</strong></span> I had to learn that not everything in life could be planned. To love Von fully I had to embrace her spontaneity, which meant that I had to find a balance between my structured personality, and Von’s go with the flow attitude.<br /><br /> <strong>What has your relationship taught you most about yourself? And her? <span style="color: purple;"> Von:</span></strong> This relationship has taught me that I have the ability to commit and do a great job at it. For years, I ran away from being in committed relationships because I was taught that loving a woman was wrong. So when I thought we were getting too close I would end it. This relationship has also taught me about sacrifices, that it’s okay to be vulnerable, how to love wholeheartedly and want nothing but the best for someone you love.<br /><br /> This relationship has also taught me that Melissa has always been the one for me. She loved me unconditionally even before I loved myself completely.<br /><br /> <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Melissa:</strong></span> This relationship has taught me to embrace each moment as it comes with dignity, love, and respect. Through Von, I have learned the importance of meeting people where they are and embracing life through the good, bad and the ugly. Von has taught me patience and I believe she was definitely worth the wait, lol!<br />
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<strong>You both were in the military. What was it like hiding who you were? <span style="color: purple;">Von:</span></strong> For me it was a bit difficult hiding who I was. It forced me to lie to my peers, my, supervisors and even my closest friends on a regular basis. During my years of service, people were losing their careers. I wasn’t so concerned when I was enlisted, as I was when I became an officer. I entered the Army at the age of 18, so in my early 20s, I was young and carefree and really didn’t know the consequences or the extent of what could happen to my career if they found out that I was gay. As an officer, I witnessed people being questioned and separated from the military simply because of whom they loved. Because our relationship was a long distance one, I was traveling most weekends to see Melissa. When I returned to work people always asked, so what did you do this weekend?” My answer was always the same, “I went to visit a good friend”.<br />
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<span style="color: purple;"><strong>Melissa:</strong></span> I entered the military in 1998 and never really hid my sexual orientation. I didn’t exactly broadcast it either.<br />
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<strong>You both were in careers that made it difficult to celebrate your love. Von – how will your relationship change since you are out of the military? And, Melissa – as a minister, how do you plan to celebrate your relationship and other relationships?</strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: purple;">Von:</span></strong> There are no limitations or restrictions in my relationship now that I am out of the military. I was very fortunate to serve over 26 years and top it off with the Army recognizing Melissa as my wife at my retirement ceremony. No more secrets and no more closets for me!<br />
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<span style="color: purple;"><strong>Melissa:</strong></span> As a minister, I will maintain a healthy balance of my life with my spouse and the work I believe God has implanted in me to do in ministry. I witnessed too many times of families that have been abandoned to the dreams of others but I vow to make sure that that does not happen to my family. I will maintain our romantic relationship as well as my life’s purpose. A part of my life’s purpose is to help others in their relationships. I help people embrace their authenticity and form healthier relationships within themselves. I believe this is the necessary first step in order to be in a successful relationship with others, romantic or otherwise.<br />
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<strong>What will be your legacy as a couple? <span style="color: purple;">Both:</span></strong> Our legacy is that our relationship emulates how we live a life that reflects God’s love as we cherish and celebrate each other daily especially during our most difficult challenging times.<br />
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<strong>What was the hardest part of being deployed? <span style="color: purple;">Von:</span></strong> Being so far away from all of my loved ones was the hardest part of being deployed. Not able to see them when you want or need to see them, not being able to hear their voice when you need to hear that familiar voice in the wee hours of the morning. Not being able to comfort Melissa other than verbally on the phone when I got the opportunity to use it. Losing my brother while deployed was one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with.<br />
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<span style="color: purple;"><strong>Melissa:</strong></span> Wondering if I was going to make it back alive from a mission or silencing my mind through the times when it played games like wondering if someone is there trying to take my place.<br />
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<strong>I know that people frequently underestimate the impact of deployment on families. What is the emotional and spiritual impact of deployment? <span style="color: purple;"> Von:</span></strong> Emotionally: I was never one to display my emotions on my shoulders before deployment but during my deployment to Afghanistan, I saw so many injuries of Soldiers and so much death of the local nationals especially of women and children that I actually began showing my emotions (crying) outwardly because I could not contain all of the pain. Seven months into the deployment, the Chaplain came to my bunk one evening to inform me of my brother’s death back in the states, I totally lost it. It was the second time that I had no control whatsoever of my emotions (the first time was the lost of my father 11 years before). Spiritually, we were given time weekly to worship in a church setting. For me, I had a lot of quiet time to think, read, study, and get a closer relationship with God.<br />
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<strong><span style="color: purple;">Melissa:</span></strong> Emotionally, while in Iraq I was numb. I didn’t cry when others did, not even when we lost one of our comrades or when others in my unit got seriously hurt. Even after returning home, I was still emotionally unattached and eventually diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Spiritually: As a unit we took communion before we left on our very first convoy. We also engaged in weekly church services. Being deployed actually strengthened my faith and allowed me to embrace a different kind of worship, which was meditation, something new to me at that time.<br />
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<strong>I know support is critical. How can partners and families provide and offer support when soldiers are deployed and how can we help when our loved ones return? <span style="color: purple;">Both:</span></strong> When your Soldier is deployed, communicate with them by sending letters, care packages, and making yourself accessible when they call. The time change is very different and so sometimes they can call you when its 3 in the morning your time so it may require some sleep deprivation on your part and lots of sacrificing to be available whenever they call. We couldn’t call whenever we wanted but we called when we were able to.<br />
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When the person returns allow them time to adjust being back home. Don’t rush to events where there are a whole lot of people or anything that requires a lot of effort. We don’t do well in big crowds upon returning home. Pay attention to this person who has returned because some things may be different or there may be things they used to do that they don’t do anymore just as some things may be different with you since they have been gone. Be patient while the person is trying to adjust being back into everyday life. Allow the person space & time to open up to you when they are ready not when you want them to. We don’t like talking about our experiences because it opens up wounds and feelings that are still very real. Communicate to the person in a gentle way when you notice things are different from when they left. We have been in a state of high alert for at least a year, we were on guard 24/7 surrounded by enemies so give us time to adjust.<br />
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<strong>From an insiders views....over the 27 years, how has the Army responded to same sex couples? <span style="color: purple;">Von:</span></strong> After DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) was declared unconstitutional in June 2013, gays in the military did not have to hide their sexuality any longer. Before that, the "Don't ask, don't tell" (DADT) act of 1994 prohibited any homosexual or bisexual person from disclosing his or her sexual orientation or from speaking about any homosexual relationships, including marriages or other familial attributes, while serving in the United States armed forces. Many Soldiers were dishonorably discharged because of whom they loved. I must say that we stand on the shoulders of many military heroes who came before us and afford us this opportunity to share our spouses and families openly.<br />
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In my opinion and experiences, the Army has more so embraced same sex couples not only because a directive was sent out to treat everyone with respect and dignity but also I think Soldiers genuinely didn’t care unless it interfered with one’s job performance. I have heard of instances where leaders treat their Soldiers negatively when they find out that they are same gender loving. There is still much work and education needed. Many Soldiers tell me that they have an easier time embracing same sex women couples versus men. I came out to my supervisor, colleagues, and my staff early last year and they were sincerely happy for me and said it didn’t matter to them who I loved.<br />
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<strong><span style="color: purple;">Melissa:</span></strong> The Army has come a long way since I first joined the U. S. Army Reserve. As a disabled veteran, there is still a lot of work to be done particularly in the area of receiving health care.<br />
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<strong>What 1 word most captures her essence and your love? <span style="color: purple;">Von:</span></strong> The 1 word that most captures Melissa’s essence and our love is adoration. I adore her and our love wholeheartedly. <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Melissa:</strong></span> The 1 word that most captures Von’s essence and our love is enchanting because some days /sometimes I feel like our life is like a fairytale. I married my Princess Charming.<br />
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<strong>What will be your legacy as a couple? <span style="color: purple;">Both:</span></strong> Our legacy is that our relationship emulates how we live a life that reflects God’s love as we cherish and celebrate each other daily especially during our most difficult challenging times.<br />
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<strong>Congrats again! Imani, the entire Create Love and I salute for your service! Blessings to you both and thanks for sharing so generously with us.</strong><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We thank you for sharing your love with us at </span><a href="http://www.createloveforwomen.com/"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Create Love</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">! Your story will encourage, inspire and uplift other couples. We wish you continued success and happiness.</span><a href="http://www.createloveforwomen.com/"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.createloveforwomen.com</span></a></div>
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I turned 45 in 2014. In those years, I had raised a tiny boy to a beautiful young man, been married and divorced twice. Owned homes and businesses and felt on top of the world in material ways and started over more times than I care to admit.</div>
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In 45 years, I'd watched my mother be happy, nearly die in a car accident and have her heart broken completely in half. And always ... always she rises again -- impacted, but never changing in her capacity to love and show forgiveness and acceptance. I'd lost my birth father to cancer, my dad to continued estrangement and hurt deeply because of it. Hell, I still hurt.<br />
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In 45 years, I've known joy... gain... success, failure and such deep pain that I could literally define desperation and darkness with just ONE page of my life's story.<br />
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In 45 years, I've wanted to give up, throw my hands in the air or simply harden myself. I do admit to allowing myself to go numb. To be a pretty little shell of a person... smiling while inside I felt nothing at all. "Going through the motions" is probably one of the loneliest feelings in the entire world.<br />
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In my 45th year I also learned to really LOVE. Don't get me wrong -- I've loved deeply in my life time. Pure love for my son. Devoted love for my mother. Familial love and loyalty to my siblings, aunts, cousins, uncle. And, as I said before -- I've been married twice. But in my past relationships, I was still learning so much about ME. Still carrying around the hurts and traumas of my childhood, still running away from certain aspects of my upbringing and still living to the expectations of OTHER people over personal happiness or fulfillment.<br />
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But, 2014 was different. I'd ended my marriage in 2010 and spent the years since then learning about ME and quite honestly, learning to accept myself and loving who I am as a human being. I learned to be proud of myself, to let myself off the hook for past mistakes and to be open to the goodness that the Universe had in store for me. I saw EVERYTHING differently once I learned my personal worth. During that time - I'd met some women worth getting to know better, tested the waters of what it could be like to share time and space with another person but stayed true to what *I* really wanted in my next relationship. I may have hurt others during that time but for the most part, I tried my best to do so in truth -- without malice. I didn't always handle it as others may have expected -- but I don't regret staying true to me.<br />
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In 2014 I fell in love with someone differently. I'd told myself that I no longer wanted a relationship based on dependency or fear of loneliness. I'd grown happy with spending time alone and I needed my next love to be MORE. Dependency is so fleeting. To need simply a "warm body" requires little more than a physical attraction and a pulse to produce that sense of "warmth". Neither did I want to stay with someone because of the things that we owned or because our families expected us to do so. Nor did I want to stay with someone because I didn't want THEM to hurt while *I* grew numb inside.<br />
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At 45 years old, I wanted to fall in love with someone who made me smile, who's smile made my heart flip over every single time she shared it with me, or when I caught her smiling at something during some random moment. I wanted to fall in love with someone that made me LAUGH and who "got" my sense of humor... my brand of silly and crazy. I wanted to love someone with my head, my heart, my body and my soul. I wanted to love someone that I CRAVED physically while also knowing they had what it took to build a life together.<br />
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At 45 I wanted to love like a grown up, while also giving myself permission to forever be that little girl who still has fears, who has bad habits of self-protection and when those habits showed themselves, I wanted to love someone who knew how to HOLD ON to me and CHOOSE to do so. Every single time.<br />
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The Universe/God truly does answer prayers, in the right time. So I would suggest you be truly ready to receive the answer -- because sometimes even blessings come with some challenge.<br />
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I've been challenged to EARN this love. Every day. Every moment. But, in 2014 I learned that sharing a loving relationship with another flawed human being is a DAILY choice. A constant ebb and flow of hanging on and letting go. Hanging on to what's important and lovingly letting go of the things that no longer matter -- the things not worth fighting about. I've learned to love with my heart and not with my ego and I've learned that I will make mistakes and so will she but I count my blessings when I acknowledge that not ONE mistake has ever been made intentionally. That through LOVE you learn to accept a person's idiosyncrasies as they accept yours. That the relationship you share should be treated like a small child, depending on its' parents to protect and nurture it and that few things can damage a truly united front.<br />
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LOVE is a gift and it's what this life is all about. Tiny moments of connection to another person's soul. Moments when you FEEL that all is right in the world when you truly SURRENDER to that connection... That sense of peace you feel deep down, knowing that the soul intended just for you is within your reach ... sharing a heart beat, a breath ... or a smile.<br />
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We argue and we disagree -- but I've learned that these are the challenges that push me to keep growing. To stop waiting for someone else to bend to my will or my way because I do NOT know everything. She is the prettiest mirror I've ever viewed myself through because I see EVERYTHING through her eyes. The good is so very good because she loves deeply just like I do. And the not-so-good? Well, those things are each an opportunity to get it even MORE right -- every single day. To learn something different, to stretch... to love because of and in spite of. I've learned that even with my kindness, I can be spoiled and selfish and that because of love, she chooses me too.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC-wRl4cixco2eMhZN4w8Z8m75Fsw6mIKoGkcpbDec9kRl20g8fnSDLlGcwwJAHP0StvNv1584e0ohH-ZZ3W5kGQ72nWQJ7hpGqJ3OpO3ACe3HVygNi797N9oOevZqkTdTDQzpHf4KYp0V/s1600/LoveSemiCircle.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC-wRl4cixco2eMhZN4w8Z8m75Fsw6mIKoGkcpbDec9kRl20g8fnSDLlGcwwJAHP0StvNv1584e0ohH-ZZ3W5kGQ72nWQJ7hpGqJ3OpO3ACe3HVygNi797N9oOevZqkTdTDQzpHf4KYp0V/s1600/LoveSemiCircle.png" height="260" width="320" /></a>As a little girl my heart thought love looked like some knight on a white horse. As an adult, I no longer wait for some Disney version of love. Instead, I look at my life's partner and see her for the hero she has become to me. The one who hangs on to me when I'm a tornado ... who lovingly reminds me to call my mother, to check in with that friend who let me down, to eat and to rest. The hero who holds me when I cry deep ugly tears and wipes my face as she kisses my forehead. The hero who is still teaching me how to BE LOVED ... how to have more faith and how to let go of the fears that are not fact-based. She is my rock and the softest of safe havens for me.<br />
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In 2014, I fell in love and learned what that really means.<br />
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Happy New Year!<br />
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Valerie Hall is an insightful woman with a heart of gold. She is a IT professional, a business owner, a wonderful mom and an amazing friend.<br />
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Valerie can also be reached on Facebook and Twitter. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Imani Evans and SharRon Jamison </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10130464382565256380noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567195873604332557.post-114045194073203712015-01-05T06:19:00.000-08:002015-01-05T06:19:26.006-08:00Happy Couple Highlight: Joy and Toy<div style="text-align: left;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> <span style="font-size: x-large;">Joy & Toy Nirvae</span></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieH69RJI7uXdWLCYMMJFLUUoeEqxw-ULCPNSuYRQSx5wF8ZvhCHauaVeie97MaVsk6Qpn7QJku8P3wtLKsLXFNpcMzG2O082dwY_4UvI6b2RKX6yaOLa0AR9mnNj_VgrkApEd4f-olLbNG/s1600/JoyToy2.png"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="367" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieH69RJI7uXdWLCYMMJFLUUoeEqxw-ULCPNSuYRQSx5wF8ZvhCHauaVeie97MaVsk6Qpn7QJku8P3wtLKsLXFNpcMzG2O082dwY_4UvI6b2RKX6yaOLa0AR9mnNj_VgrkApEd4f-olLbNG/s1600/JoyToy2.png" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>I am always fascinated how relationships start. Where did you meet and what were the initial attractions?</strong> <strong><span style="color: purple;">Toy:</span></strong> We met online originally. I wanted to find a female companion and so I created a profile on Downelink. Shortly after creating the profile my now wife but then stranger, instant messaged me and we exchanged contact info. From there we talked on the phone maybe once or twice and she surprised me at work. I was so shocked and thrown off that I pushed her away; I wasn’t ready. About 5 months later, as fate would have it, we randomly spotted each other at a night club and talked every single day thereafter. And as they say, “the rest is history.”<br /><br /><strong><span style="color: purple;">Joy:</span></strong> Since Charlotte NC is not the largest of cities, we were constantly “bumping” into each other on a few occasions; a job interview for a job that we both applied for (and she got by the way), Downelink which is an LGBTQ online social media site, and once more at a local club. My initial attraction was that I was definitely intrigued, she was extremely genuine, and that she had a very positive spirit unique from what I had ever experienced. <br /><br /><strong>You have been together for 4 years. First, Congratulations. What advice would you give to other couples and why?</strong> <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Joy:</strong></span> Well, this will go out to couples and singles as well; two things: 1) Explore your heart and 2) Be open and patient when allowing your partner to explore their heart. No one is perfect. We as people have a tendency to “grow up” too fast and develop preconceived notions of how and what our lives should be. What we tend to forget is that you never stop growing and that includes your heart. Listen to your heart and listen what makes it happy and act swiftly on those feelings. Understand why your heart fears and experiences anguish in certain areas and work on healing those areas. Also understand that your partner may have more or less “heart therapy” to undergo so be open and patient and work as a team. <br /><br /><strong><span style="color: purple;">Toy:</span></strong> We understand that we are in a constant state of growing and becoming. Life is a verb and is constantly changing. We are not concerned with getting to a particular “place/time,” we are only focused on living our BEST LIVES NOW! And that is the same advice that I would give to other couples, “Happiness is a journey not a destination.” <br /><br /><strong>What make you know that it was time to get married and how will being married change your relationship?</strong> <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Toy:</strong> </span>When we decided to get married honestly it was something from within that said, “The time is now.” I wanted to add that extra value to our relationship and the desire burned from deep within and I could not extinguish the flame; it could not be overlooked. I just knew. Getting married has enhanced our lives individually as well as together. The woman I am with her would not have been the same woman without her. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigMHM4YWfkwCHK0fMbdohZZg8pVXRHI_t06kZmycU1vVcLQfBP24JzQMwGUVZIez4lrIME8WadPtkwantZ7AStG4NTjpxXerSLjGbTlmDwOZXH3lujPBsG-YjAYnE77Ic25CekLat4feKt/s1600/JoyToy1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigMHM4YWfkwCHK0fMbdohZZg8pVXRHI_t06kZmycU1vVcLQfBP24JzQMwGUVZIez4lrIME8WadPtkwantZ7AStG4NTjpxXerSLjGbTlmDwOZXH3lujPBsG-YjAYnE77Ic25CekLat4feKt/s1600/JoyToy1.png" width="302" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigMHM4YWfkwCHK0fMbdohZZg8pVXRHI_t06kZmycU1vVcLQfBP24JzQMwGUVZIez4lrIME8WadPtkwantZ7AStG4NTjpxXerSLjGbTlmDwOZXH3lujPBsG-YjAYnE77Ic25CekLat4feKt/s1600/JoyToy1.png"></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: purple;"><strong>Joy:</strong></span> Even though I entered the relationship with love and desire to grow with Toy I must admit that I was unsure what forever with someone and marriage really meant. As my love for her surpassed any level that I could ever imagine I knew that she was the one for me and finally grasped the significance behind the word marriage. From the day that I decided to propose I was no longer being led by my mind but my heart. And that is how marriage has changed our relationship; we are on a course for forever which allows our life dreams and imagination to be endless<br /><br /><strong>Getting together is easy. Staying together is difficult. You have weathered many transitions and storms? How did you manage and what was the hardest part?</strong> <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Toy:</strong></span> Honestly, we have managed each storm by reminding ourselves of why we got together in the first place. The hardest yet simplest part is understanding, “Not every battle is meant to be fought or won.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: purple;">Joy:</span></strong> I’m going to steal my wife’s motto for this one but I believe as well that “Life is about Balance”. From getting together to staying together two individuals have to establish a balance as a partnership. I can say it was difficult for me because starting out, I carried a lot of baggage from my childhood and past relationships. From the start I had the worst case of commitment phobia and go figure my wife and I (girlfriend at the time) attempted to carry out a long distance relationship! That in itself was a failure and a triumph for me. The hardest part was struggling not to revert back to my old habits of being a loner and being content with not challenging myself emotionally. I was able to manage because my wife saw my potential to love wholeheartedly which inspired me to develop and share those emotions.<br /><br /><strong>How do you deal with and face challenges (family acceptance, money differences, etc.) that might come up in your relationship?</strong> <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Joy:</strong></span> Good question, one that is usually the epitome of relationships, gay and heterosexual alike. Family acceptance is still a working conversation that we have. From the start, Toy and I both have had family members who chose not to fully accept us because we are lesbian and married. As a result of their actions we have both experienced grief but also guilt at the thought of removing these people from our lives. Why? The challenge has been understanding roles in our present day lives. If you do not presently play a positive role in my life then I do not allow room for toleration. Mother, father, aunt, uncle, cousin, friend, indifferent. Simple. You control the energy you keep around you. Be selective to who you give that energy to.<br /><br />To address money differences, just as we work together in developing spiritual and emotional relationship goals, Toy and I share the same plans financially and work towards those together. The key is to have trust in one another, always keep your partner informed, and have a plan.<br /><br /><strong><span style="color: purple;">Toy:</span></strong> We deal with issues that come our way head on. We are not afraid of confrontation. We do not sweep things under the rug, we call them out. Recent sessions with our therapist have given us the tools we need to properly communicate.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>I know faith is important to both of you. How do you practice your faith as a couple and hat role does spirituality play in your relationship?</strong> <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Toy:</strong></span> When I think faith, I think of the devotion, confidence, and trust that we have for one another and our relationship as a whole. We are both very spiritual people and our mysticism is what has saved our relationship. We are on a voyage together to our divine places of nirvana.<br /><br /><strong><span style="color: purple;">Joy:</span></strong> Faith is very important to us because I believe it means that life is so much larger than just me, but at the same time, I have the ability to change life. I believe that we all have a purpose in life, often times multiple purposes. As a couple, Toy and I conspire together to reach our destinies in life. Our number one priority every day is to silence our minds from all of the noise that we create in society and receive positive energy from the universe. We have faith that one day we will create this peaceful environment to live in every second of everyday. Spiritually is a huge part of our lives and only recently as adults have we truly divulged in it by living the life of the Secret. I believe spirituality is what gives our heart its identity and guidance.<br /><br /><strong>After 4 years, how do you keep the fires burning? What role does sensuality play in your relationship?</strong> <strong><span style="color: purple;">Toy:</span></strong> Spontaneity keeps our fire burning. Nothing says sensual like a night of flirting, a day of dining together, the mystery of a new adventure, and just the opportunity to enjoy life together. <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Joy:</strong></span> Two words: Imagination and Spontaneity, being creative and having no boundaries and acting swiftly on those impulses. During the two years that Toy and I were in a long distance relationship we always attempted to make the most of our short visits with each other with extravagant, creative surprises and plans. I can say that I’ve always been somewhat spontaneous but my wife owns both categories and her imagination is what I love most about her. To this day, we continue to surprise each other, be spontaneous, and imagine all of the sweet things we would like to do and immediately plan and do them. What can I say, I have found my soulmate! We balance each other out so well to the point our sensuality overflows.<br /><br /><strong>Every relationship develops Relationship Rules that support your union. What are your spoken and unspoken rules? And how did those rules form?</strong> <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Joy:</strong></span> How Toy and I have developed in our union is by being “Proactive” rather than “Reactive”. Recently we have consulted marriage counseling which has been an outstanding environment to express ourselves as well as sort out prior moments in our lives that may affect our marriage. One of our relationship rules is centered on “Effective Communication”. Although we communicate frequently, we both have realized that we can change the effect that we have on one another by altering our delivery of how we say things. For example: Toy may say “When you’re done with what you’re doing can you wash the dishes? opposed to “You need to wash the dishes”. That example may seem simple but how you say things can determine different reactions in people. Most of our rules are unspoken and unquestioned when it comes to respect, love and care for one another.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;"><strong>Toy:</strong></span> I have always felt that rules restrict creativity. You can’t be your true self with rules. Although rules help create order and unity, we’d much rather not have them. We just respect one another. We believe you should treat a person not how you want to be treated but how they want to be treated. This creates a proper balance of respect and understanding. But if you consider her washing the dishes before bed a rule, then go for it ;) lol </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>Every relationship challenges us in different way. What did you have to learn and un-learn to love her fully?</strong> <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Toy:</strong></span> I had to unlearn the fantasy and dreams that I had in my mind of how love should automatically be. I had to love her as she was and understand that with time, love, and growth all things are possible. And things can and will turn out better than you imagined. <br /><br /><strong><span style="color: purple;">Joy:</span></strong> As I touched on earlier, I had to un-learn my views on commitment and marriage. In all actuality, there was a laundry list of things that I did not believe was possible that had to un-learn: True Love, forever with one person, long distance relationships, just to name a few. Now sitting here thinking about it, the most important thing that I had to un-learn was that God did not hate me. Mankind may hate me, but is without question that I will always find love in the higher power that lives within me every day and in my beautiful wife LaToya.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmDYhs2HopTYxnJfPVJSCXp6eSW6a2l3J51rPXZkm4cnJF-moJdKdRkHnWWLpe8ttMJZLp1kQTGyPpdAS3f9YUwBLO0TsqnrRXbue9wtdBEeUYLntMx5BBfLWICR6uFXuF989VTY5fvPUZ/s1600/JoyToy4.1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="284" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmDYhs2HopTYxnJfPVJSCXp6eSW6a2l3J51rPXZkm4cnJF-moJdKdRkHnWWLpe8ttMJZLp1kQTGyPpdAS3f9YUwBLO0TsqnrRXbue9wtdBEeUYLntMx5BBfLWICR6uFXuF989VTY5fvPUZ/s1600/JoyToy4.1.png" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>What has your relationship taught you most about yourself? And her?</strong> <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Joy:</strong></span> My relationship has taught me how to nurture emotional and spiritual growth that I’ve neglected throughout my life. I have realized that regardless of the amount of degrees and knowledge that I have I will always be a student to life. What our relationship has taught me most about my wife Toy is that regardless of her intuitive nature and contrary to my belief, she is no mind-reader or angel but just a very patient, loving, caring, nurturing person who understood the secret of the soul. <span style="color: purple;"><strong>Toy:</strong></span> Life does not require a definition. Life is to be lived. We need to throw away all of the teachings of our past and love openheartedly, unconditionally. <br /><br /><strong>What 1 word most captures her essence and your love?</strong> <br /><strong><span style="color: purple;">Joy:</span></strong> Destiny<br /><span style="color: purple;"><strong>Toy:</strong></span> Unparalleled <br /><br /><strong>What will be your legacy as a couple? <span style="color: purple;">Toy:</span></strong> “We came, we saw, we loved, we conquered.” <strong><span style="color: purple;">Joy:</span></strong> Since we were fortunate enough to find each other in this lifetime that means we have twice the legacy to fulfill. As we explore the world our goal is to spread light, love, and positive energy to every path we cross. We are all people on a search to be better and happier. I think we are here to take that journey with you. <br /><br /><strong>Please follow Joy and Toy at:</strong><br />Instagram: @LovePrayEatAlways </span><a href="https://www.instagram.com/LovePrayEatAlways"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">https://www.instagram.com/LovePrayEatAlways</span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You Tube: </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/c/JoyAndToyTV"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">https://www.youtube.com/c/JoyAndToyTV</span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We thank you for sharing your love with us at </span><a href="http://www.createloveforwomen.com/"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Create Love</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">! Your story will encourage, inspire and uplift other couples. We wish you continued success and happiness.</span><a href="http://www.createloveforwomen.com/"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.createloveforwomen.com</span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /> Create Love Founders<br /><br />Imani Evans and SharRon Jamison</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Originally my plan for the <b>10 Days of Gratitude</b> was to write about how my so-called character defects are actually utilized to propel my life forward. Then came the no bill indictment in the Michael Brown case and my plans changed. </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Instead I chose to write about the gratitude I embody for my very survival. It is abundantly clear to me that a culture rooted in racism, heterosexism, classism and misogyny has no investment in my emotional and spiritual sustainability as a Black lesbian, who is living out loud. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">As an artist and creative sometimes my rage is too big for normal sentences. In those cases only prose and poetry can loosen the noose of anger choking me and disallowing the passage of reason. It is then that I feel compelled to take pen to paper and speak my mind to free my heart. Sometimes the creativity is plentiful and other times it is just enough to shift me back into compassion. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">As our world has transformed from the industrial age to the information age, I often feel bombarded by ignorance and hatred. It is everywhere: Twitter, FaceBook, Google+ and it even seeps into my text messages. It is a laborious task to keep from spewing venom back into the mouth of the snake, with no care of its carnage. Then just as I am destined to succumb to the cycle of viciousness, I am reminded of grace, true strength, dignity and compassion. In those moments...I am saved by my art. So I write.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>Rage - As Yet Untitled</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><u><a href="http://womenhealingwomen.podbean.com/" target="_blank"><i>(You can listen to the audio of this piece - click here)</i></a></u></b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMQxhcdu4f6kdK0_DoOb8qXeS5J8OxNHwgzVc5Hq8w8UBn-34qMjKyiI586JYRAB0FdrlqQWz4Xy3rQHNxBlJEzbnFze-C1eqeFYcpQMzlq4BvlJpwx7Nas-El1-fX_Yf3Sv4JSEuMWMk/s1600/ImaniDance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMQxhcdu4f6kdK0_DoOb8qXeS5J8OxNHwgzVc5Hq8w8UBn-34qMjKyiI586JYRAB0FdrlqQWz4Xy3rQHNxBlJEzbnFze-C1eqeFYcpQMzlq4BvlJpwx7Nas-El1-fX_Yf3Sv4JSEuMWMk/s1600/ImaniDance.jpg" height="400" width="250" /></a><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Today I am grateful for my very existence, despite their efforts to kill me. See, they have been trying to kill me since ancient times. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">They have been trying to kill me since my name was <a href="http://www.egyptartsite.com/sekmet.html" target="_blank">Sekhmet</a>, <a href="http://www.tribeofthesun.com/oshun.htm" target="_blank">Oshun</a>, <a href="http://www.southafrica.info/about/history/saartjie.htm#.VH6_iDHF-So" target="_blank">Saarjie Baartman</a>, <a href="http://www.tribeofthesun.com/oshun.htm" target="_blank">Amarinta Ross</a>, or <a href="http://audre%20lorde/" target="_blank">Audre Lorde.</a> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">They have been trying to kill me because my voice is that of a light-bringer, a consciousness-shifter and world-changer. </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">But I am still here. Maybe I won't be in 20 years, maybe I won't be a year from now, or even tomorrow. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But..today...I am still here. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The "they" that I speak of are the dark ones, the negative forces, the racists, the oppressers, the despots, the ones whose ignorance and fear serves as a guide for their actions and supersedes their logic. </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">Them...they...those ones who know exactly who they are, despite their ever-present denial to my face. I will defy you...</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilXE-Y5XqvrrBs7cQfWchtVONuPTovRvenPGoQvNakRzSpt73ISHgR64H2xF2ECsNx5V_wx5tFTsO3HZ_UUe7tBHAcpu_9M4guRnRV40qs3KL7fEkDlwwtTp8J7I5RAuGf8paiwndKj-s/s1600/c86fed44102ace247cb39a0f38f01900.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilXE-Y5XqvrrBs7cQfWchtVONuPTovRvenPGoQvNakRzSpt73ISHgR64H2xF2ECsNx5V_wx5tFTsO3HZ_UUe7tBHAcpu_9M4guRnRV40qs3KL7fEkDlwwtTp8J7I5RAuGf8paiwndKj-s/s1600/c86fed44102ace247cb39a0f38f01900.jpg" height="400" width="301" /></a><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I will defy you with my sheer determination to stand upright and straight-backed in the face of brokenness.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I will defy you with my ingenuity to create nations out of nothing and morph magnificence out of malevolence.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I will defy you by holding hands with my beloved on the streets of the elite and shattering your unrighteous laws with my joy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I will defy you by reincarnating with perpetual greatness and evolving beyond your recognition.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">See you cannot kill me for my Earthly existence is an illusion. And when your hatred seeks my destruction...</span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I will defy you with my very existence and my will to be all that I am called here to be...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">for whatever time that I be.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Shem Em Hetep!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Imani Evans, MA, CLC</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.createloveforwomen.com/"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">www.createloveforwomen.com</span></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.imanievans.com/"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">www.imanievans.com</span></a></div>
<div>
<a href="http://www.surviving2thriving.org/"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">www.surviving2thriving.org</span></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8YpiF8Qe1ZJRHNWOGl2UHJ6RWc/view?usp=sharing" target="_blank">Imani's Press Kit</a></span></b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Get your TOTALLY FREE copy of Reflections: A personal empowerment workbook for women--<a href="http://www.imanievans.com/books.html" target="_blank">Learn More Here!</a></b></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03695264235687315562noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567195873604332557.post-77661017925058303312014-12-02T02:20:00.000-08:002014-12-02T02:20:46.487-08:0010 Days of Gratitude: Day 9 - Gratitude Video by Onyx Keeshaa<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">First and foremost I thank you! I am truly honored to be a part of Create Love "10 days of Gratitude series". As a filmmaker I decided to make a video. I decided to do the video bare without makeup and as transparent as possible, for me that is what gratitude is all about. Being bare, open, transparent and THANKFUL for all of you without any fluff. Please enjoy the video.</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.onyxkeesha.com/"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj33bib36b2OmqCDUcIwbEk_UwA-qA7YXhzAzXFS8gxQUYJpDXV0sl4Noxx_SUOErxxwWP_c_i5nregX74gP4xvGJPOImKiGUwMzegKPAlZpdOcVP_66ngDzJ6nOvPWH-OO-rIAGJB_BqK/s1600/Montage.png" height="640" width="418" /></a></div>
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Below are links to some of my work. Once again thank you so much! </div>
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<a href="http://www.onyxkeesha.com/" target="_blank">www.onyxkeesha.com</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.theonyxacademy.com/" target="_blank">www.theonyxacademy.com</a></div>
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CHURCH HURT TRAILER (my next project)</div>
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<a href="http://youtu.be/DaApfYSe70I" target="_blank">http://youtu.be/DaApfYSe70I</a></div>
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Never Forget Part 1 and Part 2<br />
<a href="http://youtu.be/Aj3LjDLT3Dc" target="_blank">http://youtu.be/Aj3LjDLT3Dc</a><br />
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Shattered Serenity<br />
<a href="http://youtu.be/ku40ABRq3jE" target="_blank">http://youtu.be/ku40ABRq3jE</a></div>
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<a href="http://churchhurtthemovie.com/"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8t-Q8auxazJoNVqpBPexoTqtADJ71gcgji3Aqxgyjsg4V8pzByssXj7HAdwjE6JAJ8l3I2t6adx9qTklbM2t8Gv4XvN76rROtPnqE9lBaBZh4gN4YWnrfKwH_aKEYEIMTw2XgU_IUDFq4/s1600/CHURCH+HURT+2015+Poster.png" height="640" width="504" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0XHzw2XOYS_5CqwF8VoQfx1PQ3FV9ryYvqVK5g00UUW0NXyGydiMpzTqyZQl-cAXiH73HmfJ_9-FCJOuSWecNtYBRKhZsJAEmQfP6s-7ku02desEuvV5wbeJBLCqx7Y3gWu5EzXi_zlo/s1600/10+days+of+gratitude.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0XHzw2XOYS_5CqwF8VoQfx1PQ3FV9ryYvqVK5g00UUW0NXyGydiMpzTqyZQl-cAXiH73HmfJ_9-FCJOuSWecNtYBRKhZsJAEmQfP6s-7ku02desEuvV5wbeJBLCqx7Y3gWu5EzXi_zlo/s1600/10+days+of+gratitude.png" height="210" width="640" /></a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10130464382565256380noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567195873604332557.post-61621507960232688362014-12-01T00:13:00.000-08:002014-12-01T00:14:20.128-08:0010 Days of Gratitude: Day 8 - Be Grateful by C.C. Carter <div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEm5dfwAbLWGQFGEqc4k7TDJj7lYCjXvBeuD8ohUKC_bNwVFBEZqcq_f8vfOtRTWlHldLYfi7n1Y_u0Iz-qBZCdtHNmt3RcgpiX1UysLR_6YZNQkw9Y6YxO0N6zvKGyal8R21LhQNEUBbT/s1600/Singing3.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: black;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEm5dfwAbLWGQFGEqc4k7TDJj7lYCjXvBeuD8ohUKC_bNwVFBEZqcq_f8vfOtRTWlHldLYfi7n1Y_u0Iz-qBZCdtHNmt3RcgpiX1UysLR_6YZNQkw9Y6YxO0N6zvKGyal8R21LhQNEUBbT/s1600/Singing3.png" height="259" width="320" /></span></a><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit;">Sometimes
we forget.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Forget to see gratefulness
in the details of the everyday and everything. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizEGvJV1DAambeJLdVhXVVwbn0q-Jo4PIA7-DGFaN7xOGxUzkebVqMwG6JdXedtlQ54QwfCdPoUUKKHjPWo1Vmhtj8O3dlTlW4kdnIKTKHBfZX88OVdy3a32QYTJDtmP94hWtvg8LvbYL4/s1600/Singing2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizEGvJV1DAambeJLdVhXVVwbn0q-Jo4PIA7-DGFaN7xOGxUzkebVqMwG6JdXedtlQ54QwfCdPoUUKKHjPWo1Vmhtj8O3dlTlW4kdnIKTKHBfZX88OVdy3a32QYTJDtmP94hWtvg8LvbYL4/s1600/Singing2.png" height="320" width="214" /></span></a><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit;">We forget that breathing today means we get to recreate the life we want again. Second by second, moment by moment we get to start again and as a result we should be grateful for that.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit;">We get stuck. Stuck on the situation we are in now, the financial debts we have acquired again, the loved ones we have lost once more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We get stuck in the loss, the pain, the suffering and we forget that in this second of awareness we once had a gain before the loss, a joy before the pain, we had living before the suffering. We forget that we should have been grateful when we had them and we punish ourselves because we recognize we should have been more present in those moments, with those people, in those experiences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For as the gospel song states, it is never too late to…</span><br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><br /></span></i>
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Be grateful.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Be grateful.<br /><br />God has not promised me sunshine,<br />That's not the way it's going to be;<br />But a little rain mixed with God's sunshine,<br />A little pain makes me appreciate the good times. </span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Be grateful, be grateful.<br />For it will be alright... (Kurt Carr)</span></i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUY5hWXt5IqvRfhyw2PAyAG9Zqn8eS9r3tlhi14wGeICv4yPcWHwmy9WX269bIQTg61bQWX3LuZ4MZSve659t8LFQyWyxMHavWrvyLKp9Ltr_FLo_agbLSUq0B6NpRyXNtt7pe8W2ApoGa/s1600/Singing1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUY5hWXt5IqvRfhyw2PAyAG9Zqn8eS9r3tlhi14wGeICv4yPcWHwmy9WX269bIQTg61bQWX3LuZ4MZSve659t8LFQyWyxMHavWrvyLKp9Ltr_FLo_agbLSUq0B6NpRyXNtt7pe8W2ApoGa/s1600/Singing1.png" height="221" width="320" /></span></a><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-style: normal;">We forget to learn from the lessons of the past so we can be truly grateful of moments of clarity, of moving through, of persevering on, in spite of.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-style: normal;">We forget to be grateful that guess what? I’m still here.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-style: normal;">We forget to not get stuck in the “why” something is happening or the reason I’m going through this or went through that”.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-style: normal;">We forget to be present in the moment and ask the real question, “What have I learned or am learning as a result of the experience.”</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-style: normal;">For when you can truly answer those questions, you can move on to being present in the now.</span></span></i></span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtKfHXLh2glp1GuOaY-_7KWa5WFtgmrPYIpsiMBIblOzOa4iW3venvQ3Mt-9zdj1ajwLtOJfy971jQLArnBnVa3E0Juah5bXgAh5-xC90lG_X9wmTELE_a0BChj3ssUDuOW2Gh4RbSHnfH/s1600/Singing4.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtKfHXLh2glp1GuOaY-_7KWa5WFtgmrPYIpsiMBIblOzOa4iW3venvQ3Mt-9zdj1ajwLtOJfy971jQLArnBnVa3E0Juah5bXgAh5-xC90lG_X9wmTELE_a0BChj3ssUDuOW2Gh4RbSHnfH/s1600/Singing4.png" height="220" width="320" /></span></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUY5hWXt5IqvRfhyw2PAyAG9Zqn8eS9r3tlhi14wGeICv4yPcWHwmy9WX269bIQTg61bQWX3LuZ4MZSve659t8LFQyWyxMHavWrvyLKp9Ltr_FLo_agbLSUq0B6NpRyXNtt7pe8W2ApoGa/s1600/Singing1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit;"></span></a><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit;"><i>Flowing from my heart<br />Are the issues of my heart <br />It’s gratefulness</i> (Hezekiah Walker)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit;">No one is asking you to forget, no one is asking you to not be angry or hurt still. But what you should remind yourself is “From these experiences, I’ve learned ____________ and in this moment, this second…. <i>inhale</i>… I am grateful for… <i>exhale</i>… this moment of gratefulness”</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">C.C. CaCarla (C.C.) Carter, Ph.D. is a lifetime educator, having spent over 27 years as a teacher and administrator in junior high and high school settings. She is currently the curriculum and compliance specialist at Joshua Johnston Fine Arts and Design Charter School in Chicago. She is the lead coordinator for the development of the Lorde-Rustin Social Justice Educational Program, to be opened in the Spring of 2015, which will serve 75 high school and older adult LGBTQ and allied students wishing to receive a diploma. She is a Master Teacher Trainer in the areas of Brain-Based Learning, Multiple Intelligences and teaching to Diverse Learners. In addition to her educational career, C.C. is an award-winning poet, has been published in over 15 anthologies and is a staple on the Women's Music Festival circuit including as a principle artist for Olivia Travel, a Lesbian travelling company. Her work as an activist for women and youth has earned her two places in the Chicago Gay and Lesbian Hall of Fame. She recently earned her Doctorate of Divinity and a Ph.D. in Christian Education.rter</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Executive Director, POW-WOW Inc</span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">773.592.3492</span></a></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><a href="mailto:POWWOWInc@gmail.com">POWWOWInc@gmail.com</a></span><br />
<a href="mailto:POWWOWInc@gmail.com" target="_blank"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></a>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">When I think of gratitude, I think about how practicing
gratitude positively affects my vibration. We hear about the practice of
gratitude and about raising our vibration and how having a higher vibration can
produce a happy life and even promote manifesting things in life that we want.
Often I have found myself having to go back to the basics of the purpose of
exercising gratitude and the many benefits it has on my life. For many of us
that deal with depression and anxiety, it seems there is always something that
can take us from exercising gratitude and being present to being worried and
taken out of the present! When in the middle of living life to the fullest, we
can get out of practice with the things that sustain us. And that’s ok, it
happens to the most savvy, spiritual, and enlightened of us. The thing is to
recognize it, own it, and not stay there. If you find yourself needing to get
back to the basics of practicing gratitude, here are some tips on how to come
back to center.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">First, find your base level:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When it comes to everyday life, like interactions with your
partner(s), your children, and co-workers; or the business of life, like who is
going to cook dinner, or what time you need to leave work to make it to the
kid’s game, or how long do you have to eat dinner before going to your second
job; we can easily get caught up in the next task and find ourselves
spiraling. The next thing you know, it’s
been 3 weeks since you thought about what being so busy means to you on a soul
level and you might find yourself questioning if you even enjoy your life! In
moments like this, stop and take a deep breath. No seriously, stop. Nudge
yourself to remember why you are doing the things you are doing. A base level is about being able to get to
the point of it all. You might say “I’m rushing to class because I’m going to
have a degree (or certificate or skills) that will assist me in some way that
is meaningful. It won’t always be like this.”
Base levels are the reasons behind the task. When you can get back to
this place, you can think about the task a little more present to its meaning
and begin the path back to gratitude. You can then begin to say, “Wow, I’m
juggling a lot. I’m pushing myself now so that I can reach my goal. It’s ok to
have a hard time from time to time. I just have to keep in mind why I’m doing
this and soon, I will be on to the next goal/task!” The base level takes you
out of complaining, avoiding, or sulking. When you’ve reached a point where you
have to connect to your base, that is the best time to just take it easy on
yourself and remind yourself that you are doing the best you can. Base levels
are about owning whats really going on and being gentle with yourself in the
process. Once you've done this you are
already closer to your center and on your way to your gratitude practice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Next, connect with your will:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In my study of chakras, energy centers through the body
that help us balance our vibration and aura, I find the “will” to be very helpful
in connecting with gratitude once I have been able to get connected to my
base. There are names for the energy
centers of the body and the one at the center of our being, our core, is called
the Will Chakra. It governs just what it says, our will. Your will sits at the
center of your being and is connected to what many call “your gut”. It’s that
often unexplained part of you that might say “I don’t know what it is but
something seems off. I better not go that way today”. While it is good at
protecting you, it is also good at helping you to do/perform task, to manifest,
and to balance the amount of energy you give to a task. So say you have
remembered why you are doing the things you are doing, you have found your base
and you're beginning to feel connected
to your task again. Now you can connect to how much of your current actions are
helping you reach your goal and if you need to do some self care or adjusting
in any way. This is about sitting with
your inner self and working through if what you are doing is aiding you in your
goal, distracting you from your goal, or if you need a break in routine, etc.
Connecting to your will can be about asking yourself questions that get to the
bottom of your intention for your task. Are you trying to do “too much”, too
soon? Do you need to slow down or maybe even take a day off? Connecting to your
will can help you get in touch with the things we have to DO in the world with
much more intention to ensure that we are not just doing busy work and that we
are busy doing work that matters! Your inner knowing will always work to
protect you and keep you in alignment with you highest good. Getting in touch
with you will by asking yourself some tough questions can really help you say
in alignment with your highest self. So get in there and ask those tough
questions to find the intention behind your task and adjust accordingly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Lastly, come back to gratitude<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTvDWPvTBjQGwkhV2l6Pe9d7S4YNYuqYk6x_B_qYIzk24MvIxHhj12kPTuU_TEF4DRHEP4mjuMM4PGGxv9ljvq97bAktAwMzzMGGg3tUabu4kaambNK6TOmrlnDSOS5082bmTx_LvIRPFo/s1600/gratitude1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTvDWPvTBjQGwkhV2l6Pe9d7S4YNYuqYk6x_B_qYIzk24MvIxHhj12kPTuU_TEF4DRHEP4mjuMM4PGGxv9ljvq97bAktAwMzzMGGg3tUabu4kaambNK6TOmrlnDSOS5082bmTx_LvIRPFo/s1600/gratitude1.png" height="212" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now that you have moved from the base, to the center, you
can come back to gratitude with some clarity and receptiveness. You can begin
to believe it when you say “I am grateful for my job” because you have worked
yourself back to a place of meaning it rather than sort of reciting it out of habit or reciting it in hopes that you'll mean
it eventually. It’s not that we are ever not grateful for the things we have,
the things we are able to do, or the people in our lives, but navigating life
has a funny way of taking the focus off of that gratitude. We don’t become
ungrateful, we get out of touch with our soul level wisdom. Things become task
to get done and move on to the next. You
forget why you wanted it in the first place, or you get hit hard with a set
back at work or financially and you focus there. Slowly, your vibration begins to
drop until you no longer feel as connected to the things you are doing and thus
not really able to practice gratitude or FEEL grateful. Once you move your
vibration back to this point you can return to gratitude heart centered and
honestly. When your emotions are in alignment with what you are saying they
produce a much more powerful energy. This allows practicing gratitude to be
that sustaining force that it is for so many. You can return to your gratitude
journal, or gratitude morning ritual, or acts of gratitude such as
giving a little extra to the server, or donating to a cause, or thank
you notes to those you are grateful for.
All the ways that you express your gratitude can be potent and continue
to produce the kind of energy that allows for expansion, joy, and fulfillment
in life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There are many that don't live with depression or anxiety
and might still find that you need to figure out how to raise your vibration
through gratitude. When living with depression and anxiety, you might find
yourself having to do this work to get back to center often. But the work is
worth it and soon, it won't take as long as it use to. We can live our lives
with joy, contentment, faith, and possibility if we take it one day at a time,
and allow ourselves to keep it real about where we are at and release any shame
attached to it. I practice gratitude because it keeps me tapped into the beauty
of this life and helps me vibrate at a level of appreciation and thankfulness
that produces joy and excitement about life. I haven’t always been able to do
that and I'm not always able to stay here. If you live with depression and/or
anxiety, I encourage you to give this process a try. It has helped sustain me
more often than I can count. I hope it helps you too!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">TaMeicka L. Clear is a Spiritual and Emotional Wellness Coach,
a Body Positive Coach, and Social Issues Educator. Meicka is an ordained
minister, an Ifa practitioner, Reiki Level 1 practitioner, and studies
numerology and tarot. She is an empath and intuitive healer that focuses on
co-creating programs and healing spaces with people of color, women, and
LGBTQIA people. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Visit her website at <a href="http://www.clear-understandings.com/">www.clear-understandings.com</a></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10130464382565256380noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567195873604332557.post-28884121224437972852014-11-29T03:53:00.000-08:002014-11-29T03:53:53.531-08:0010 Days of Gratitude: Day 6 - I get it…I finally get it; this human experience By Sandra Valls<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheUNjbKBTj2HeM9SoHjM36KKpsoF942ZcDK4gVQc90t1kjq_pfsM2PkvS4orCeCYY9QPRc172v4sxgXSr4i0SLfUDspLzq0Hy8a8BExA2gMf7dQPQ0qp7uLXb1V4uWsBEXpm1APO04Nytl/s1600/sandra4.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheUNjbKBTj2HeM9SoHjM36KKpsoF942ZcDK4gVQc90t1kjq_pfsM2PkvS4orCeCYY9QPRc172v4sxgXSr4i0SLfUDspLzq0Hy8a8BExA2gMf7dQPQ0qp7uLXb1V4uWsBEXpm1APO04Nytl/s1600/sandra4.png" height="320" width="320" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">This human
experience is hard, lovely, lonely, beautiful, painful, joyful, magnificent,
breathtaking, devastating, challenging, healing, unpredictable, peaceful,
chaotic, unfair, divine, scary, magical, wonderful, awful, frustrating, kind,
sweet, enlightening, blissful, painful, amazing, happy…….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s trusting
to be led and having the strength to lead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s gathering
the shards of your broken heart and mending it together again and again….and dammit
really? …yet again. Then it’s being brave enough to gift it to that beautiful,
worthy one with outstretched arms.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">It’s attracting
and welcoming kindness.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s letting
fear and joy pour from your eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s shedding
the old and making room for new.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s purging
dark and reveling in the light.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s learning
to be open while still shielding yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s scraping,
crawling, walking, running, flying.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s embracing
your calling. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s accepting
yourself...learning to love yourself just as you are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s touching,
hearing, breathing, tasting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s mastering
balance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s letting
your soul speak through creativity. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s being
vulnerable enough to feel….really feel. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s running
through the woods, swimming in the ocean, dancing in the rain, curling in your
bed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s laughing
from the gut.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s one day at
a time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s losing
control to a piece of music.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s losing and
finding yourself in a lover.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s letting
someone see you. See. You.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s waiting
for the one and then finding out it’s you all along.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s conquering
your fears.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s proving
yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s all ages.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s all
genders.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">It’s…it’s…</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">But through all
this…it’s a shared experience. It’s a shared journey. We are here to heal each
other, help each other, guide each other towards our growth…our mission in
life. We are all beautiful and scared and lovable and WORTHY. Ase. And as I
write, I’m lost in a piece of music…this piece of music that has followed me
for over 20 years. A beautiful reminder. It has again escaped the speaker,
danced through the air, penetrated my big, beautiful, fragile heart, and pushed
out the fear that is now flowing freely down my cheeks.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGGOpRBK2by_S1snZTRV3Cql4mhzidNgj3nFtqluFZQziXq3uffnKS9je1ei0jpltwpoQ4-fEfLfH54mkSzmBiXpO_iIN2aeTSP9It-eL30Bag_CoWidRDSlluX-j9ZYKYdqqtR00YyxmA/s1600/sandra3.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGGOpRBK2by_S1snZTRV3Cql4mhzidNgj3nFtqluFZQziXq3uffnKS9je1ei0jpltwpoQ4-fEfLfH54mkSzmBiXpO_iIN2aeTSP9It-eL30Bag_CoWidRDSlluX-j9ZYKYdqqtR00YyxmA/s1600/sandra3.png" height="286" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">And through it all, I am grateful. Grateful
that I am alive to feel and live all of this. Grateful that I get to create
more or less, sooner or later. Grateful that I chose to be born. Grateful for
my mission. Most of all, Grateful for the awareness that I must be grateful. I
am grateful for even the things some people take for granted. I say grace not just
for a meal but for a cup of water…a cup of coffee…even a snack. There was a
time in my life when I couldn’t afford even a little bag of chips. Maybe it
took that for me to awaken to the ‘little’ things the Universe provides. I make
it a point to stop, notice and thank the universe for any and everything. Thanking
the most high with outstretched arms today for all my blessings…all of them. I
want to feel all….I receive…everything my glorious life has to offer. Bring it. I am ready. Ase.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="paragraphstyle" style="line-height: 15.0pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Sandra Valls is a
brash, high energy, smart, outrageously funny, Latina comic… and then some! <span class="style11">Voted by Latina Magazine as one of the Top 33 Bad Ass Comics with
Latin Roots,</span> Sandra performs to standing room only, sold out comedy
shows all over the country. She’ll make you laugh till your face hurts with her
frank, no holds barred comedic genius!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="paragraphstyle" style="line-height: 15.0pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Sandra Valls is also an actor, singer (go to videos for a
taste) and a published author. Pick up your copy of<u> Out of the
Edge:America’s Rebel Comics.</u> A funny and illuminating piece about what it’s
like to be a lesbian and a woman of color in the comedy world.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">To learn more about Sandra
visit.:www.welovesandra.com</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span>
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SANDRA VALLS - HOLY NOW (Peter Mayer)</div>
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Tis the season to be...<br />
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Joyful? Just how am I supposed to do that? Or be that? What is joy anyway?<br />
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I have to admit that I am happy when I get the things I want; or get to be with someone with whom I want to share my time and energy. I feel rapture when I have a new love or get another car. (I've had 47 of them and I still get excited!) I can even feel ecstasy when more money mystically falls into my lap. But joy...that's an elusive one and I finally figured out why.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieot2mpwATGHWsQlvqtUzYBzirQnmVcIKiX-x_uEr4epijHa2Fciq7nLFZKxmfNY9o0x1jFzDViAxNFDpe4Hvwq5bskAxbryviVpqA_y6vOPIVrOOSZkj0FpFerO3dC_FpD8GPtTiip2il/s1600/joy3.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieot2mpwATGHWsQlvqtUzYBzirQnmVcIKiX-x_uEr4epijHa2Fciq7nLFZKxmfNY9o0x1jFzDViAxNFDpe4Hvwq5bskAxbryviVpqA_y6vOPIVrOOSZkj0FpFerO3dC_FpD8GPtTiip2il/s1600/joy3.png" height="168" width="320" /></a>Because true joy has nothing to do with me and my wants and needs or desires. I get to experience joy when I do something for someone else without any expectation of something in return. It really is that simple. Yet giving without expecting to receive is challenging to our lesser ego, that part of ourselves that seeks validation and is crushed when we don't get it.<br />
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I was asked by a dear friend to accompany her to a church this Thanksgiving to serve meals. I did not know what to expect. However, I was very excited because I'd never done anything like that before. Tables were neatly arranged to seat six and were covered with colorful cloths with autumnal centerpieces featuring small pumpkins and gourds. Volunteers were assigned to teams of order takers, runners, and servers, with four tables given to each team. I decided to be a server, which gave me the opportunity to assist the order takers by getting plates of food and bringing them to the tables. I also got to meet and greet folks, and pay close attention to their needs.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR1NUT2ezjvX46VVL5qu58E-Ph1qGZNT-Z7dzZrVwKBttKxPpqzye5axWt0lZCFUymrl_S17YsuxTwXF85z3azwTw9gOFh_P0E8ZSBokLmcAfGb_hZEvNtT03Vtk3jkxoz7A0OJt60Iwkx/s1600/joy5.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR1NUT2ezjvX46VVL5qu58E-Ph1qGZNT-Z7dzZrVwKBttKxPpqzye5axWt0lZCFUymrl_S17YsuxTwXF85z3azwTw9gOFh_P0E8ZSBokLmcAfGb_hZEvNtT03Vtk3jkxoz7A0OJt60Iwkx/s1600/joy5.png" /></a>Deeply touched by the generosity of spirit and love that permeated the dining room, I immersed myself in the environment...listening, sharing, encouraging, laughing. There was plenty of food and the server crew packed up bundles of take-away packages for those present and shut-ins who were unable to take part in the Thanksgiving meal. And what a delicious meal it was! Roasted turkey with all the fixings, green beans, beets, mashed and sweet potatoes, and a special dessert of pumpkin pie and whipped cream. One little fellow put so much whipped cream in his cup of hot chocolate that he could only manage a bite or two of dinner. Along with his packaged meal, I sent him home with an extra packet of cocoa. The big smile he gave me warmed my heart.</div>
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Although I was not with my biological family members for the holiday, I can honestly say that I felt like a part of a bigger family. It was as though I was serving at a fine restaurant with the warmest, kindest, most grateful clientele ever. When I looked around the room, I experienced deep stirrings of gratitude and joy, empathy and compassion.<br />
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"These people are me... I have felt alone or like no one cared about me. I've had hard times and somehow made it through." Although I'd thought that I was there to do something for someone, everyone in that room helped me feel a little more connected to them and to that universal spirit that connects all of us.<br />
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So the next time I want to feel JOY, I know what to do. I plan to step out of myself and do something for someone else, just because it feels so good! In fact, I know where I'll be on Christmas Eve!<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJC9zus0c4RY7vWQC3O1X1OA9Em5HXi-dMtrTM0ttOmn8kqV3TcXN0hBsUS6RCpsbKEk24q8HYrc1IsFxMEtU4Az6biYwjviINEmsvnNp4ixhOrQHpxGb3LdQpzgwMBMgHi-BWJkW8pPTe/s1600/joy4.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJC9zus0c4RY7vWQC3O1X1OA9Em5HXi-dMtrTM0ttOmn8kqV3TcXN0hBsUS6RCpsbKEk24q8HYrc1IsFxMEtU4Az6biYwjviINEmsvnNp4ixhOrQHpxGb3LdQpzgwMBMgHi-BWJkW8pPTe/s1600/joy4.png" height="320" width="241" /></a><span lang="EN" style="font-size: x-small;">Karen Williams, M.Ed, taught Stand-Up Comedy in the Dramatic Arts department of Cleveland State University; studied improv at Second City Chicago; and directed inaugural comedy classes at Second City in Cleveland. Karen continues to perform comedy worldwide and star in television commercials while teaching acting and improvisational comedy at ProModel and Talent Management, training students to compete at IMTA (International Model and Talent Agency) Conventions in New York and Los Angeles.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt;">Karen Williams, M.Ed<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt;">Founder / CEO<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt;">HaHA Institute<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt;">For the Best in Stand-Up Comedy, Humor Education and <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt;">Motivational Speaking<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: #008216; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://www.hahainstitute.com/" target="_blank">www.hahainstitute.com</a></span></span></div>
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<a href="mailto:haha@multiverse.com" style="font-size: 12pt;" target="_blank">haha@multiverse.com</a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">216-548-0197</span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Copyright 2014. All Rights Reserved.</span></span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10130464382565256380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567195873604332557.post-74989748200202718892014-11-26T05:56:00.000-08:002014-11-26T05:56:03.560-08:0010 Days of Gratitude: Day 3 - There is No Shame in Fat, Only Hurt By Lisa D. Bowie<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYxP5mJfc_oqCZpuLZ7cbCIDVUeXHtI6DreWcpzTSEcGL760xHdA42dPZjcWL79GOVC67X1ymwfOHpbTA0lM7o2gSnfsHNsv2yn-Maidi1gy34vRq9Cg4qha9qK93ep1cSFzQVCuqKHzKF/s1600/lisa.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYxP5mJfc_oqCZpuLZ7cbCIDVUeXHtI6DreWcpzTSEcGL760xHdA42dPZjcWL79GOVC67X1ymwfOHpbTA0lM7o2gSnfsHNsv2yn-Maidi1gy34vRq9Cg4qha9qK93ep1cSFzQVCuqKHzKF/s400/lisa.png" width="337" /></a></div>
The truth is sometimes I don't sleep very well, and this night and early morning once again rendered sleeplessness. It started with a pain in one of my relatively “new” titanium knees, as I have recently found my way back to the gym and walking. Just to later find myself in an air cast as result of Achilles tendonitis. This, I’m sure due to my tenacity and overzealous spirit that won’t let me give up my battle against the bulge – a battle I will fight to the end no matter what may come my way. Funny thing is at 51 this fight feels so much more difficult than at 30 or even 40 for that matter. However, the desire to have good health and a visually accepting physical appearance remain the same regardless of my age. But it’s hard to deny I’ve grown weary and tired both literally and figuratively speaking; however I still no longer want to be included in that statistic that states that 80% of African-American women are considered to be obese. I hate that word!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih38GNpt5MDZdaVnPWgrAbhDRLI9iv-1fSFf7VTBLWEGijNc4KZOMA0HYwsTbPtm7pIt90EIgnq5ME_i6lsiDTIN-FBVXjfRthVthHhanM-NXdgyJ80LZ2LFYK72SObi4LTt3gG5kt-0ER/s1600/fathshaming.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih38GNpt5MDZdaVnPWgrAbhDRLI9iv-1fSFf7VTBLWEGijNc4KZOMA0HYwsTbPtm7pIt90EIgnq5ME_i6lsiDTIN-FBVXjfRthVthHhanM-NXdgyJ80LZ2LFYK72SObi4LTt3gG5kt-0ER/s320/fathshaming.png" width="168" /></a>Fortunately for me my strong sense of self and a Mount Everest sized self-esteem I have not been made to feel self-conscious about my weight. I seem to do a good job of that without any help. Although, I have had the occasional remark from family members – “you have such a beautiful face.” When translated means if you weren’t fat you would simply be beautiful by my standards. Or my personal favorite, “how are you ever going to get a husband if you don’t lose some weight?” So, I guess it’s a good thing I’m a lesbian, so I won’t ever have to feel the sting of a man’s rejection because of weight issues. Yet, while I have come through this type of ridicule for the most part unscathed, some of these remarks at times still hurt and have remained with me just as the childhood memories of only being able to fit plus-size tough skin jeans or the “chubette” (is that even a word) size dresses that I hated wearing in the first place.<br />
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For a few years now I have been trying my best to counter the damage of our culture with regards to size, and at times age - one of two characteristics I have struggled to embrace the better part of my life, as I have always been a “thick” sistah. The other is a completely new struggle altogether - my own quiet-held fear and at times self-hate that can be suffocating. Everywhere I turn I am constantly reminded of what I’m not – White, blonde and blue-eyed. Coming to terms with this brutal scrutiny of myself I now understand the time to counter these self-destructive thoughts and beliefs must begin immediately with the attempt to love myself as I once did, but now feels like so many years ago. I recognize it is time to claim every roll of fat, mark, scar and far from-perfect inch of my own body – a body that has been called "too fat" by me more than anyone else. Me, a person who understands the importance and purpose of loving oneself, but still finding it difficult to even like the bare naked truth of me in front of a mirror.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp6eP6WPsomRPsZ3FmpyWCIU4g5aJ_77sdc3DbL7KnrD1YSpq35njzLp533vDA0MN12NmQbFNCqHWYybxO_4s8c0TrHOjlfLJNfrUauZKFSUrXUGEmRaAn4ToOyz5ScoDJmF65O2dv1n8p/s1600/ATT00002.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp6eP6WPsomRPsZ3FmpyWCIU4g5aJ_77sdc3DbL7KnrD1YSpq35njzLp533vDA0MN12NmQbFNCqHWYybxO_4s8c0TrHOjlfLJNfrUauZKFSUrXUGEmRaAn4ToOyz5ScoDJmF65O2dv1n8p/s320/ATT00002.png" width="287" /></a><br />
Until recently I had been totally oblivious to the viciousness of my own words that have been self-inflicted. Words that hurt most when spoken silently, subconsciously and continuously while internalizing them deep within me. I realize I would NEVER diminish myself in this way for anyone else, so I must stop the diminishing of me by me. While I am long from seeing my body in a beautiful light, I know I must continue to work hard to find, shape and see the beauty in it as it is now, just as I see the beauty of my mind and heart.<br />
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“Fat Shaming” can be one of the most humiliating things to ever experience, but “fat shaming” can be the most spirit-crushing and life-threatening at the hands of self. And I want to live a shame-free life. – By Lisa D. Bowie<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVCud-PhnqYFiqTMnM6tHsFyn4gUJ6U4dtYWIekTkAY9bj732NmKiRCFFY9dCGJZescaLHlY1B41eipXYly36N8L409ynhbuyNWo8y1YqcjoVg9mfDk9F9i_DbrOHPQWw7In8Ga7pYkL-V/s1600/shameless.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVCud-PhnqYFiqTMnM6tHsFyn4gUJ6U4dtYWIekTkAY9bj732NmKiRCFFY9dCGJZescaLHlY1B41eipXYly36N8L409ynhbuyNWo8y1YqcjoVg9mfDk9F9i_DbrOHPQWw7In8Ga7pYkL-V/s200/shameless.png" width="200" /></a><br />
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Lisa is a scholar in training residing in Atlanta, Ga. She has been writing career-related articles since 2009, poetry and editorial opinions since 2010. Her articles have appeared on eXaminer.com, NewsFlavor.com, AuthSpot.com and Bizcovering.com. By trade, she is a human resources professional and possesses more than 20 years of experience, as well as an Assistant Professor. Lisa holds a Master of Arts degree in Humanities and Masters in Education, both from Tiffin University. Last, but not least Lisa loves her wife.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10130464382565256380noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567195873604332557.post-23947926951003361922014-11-25T09:21:00.000-08:002014-11-25T09:21:50.691-08:0010 Days of Gratitude: Day 1 - I Am Grateful by SharRon Jamison<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgglTHZgYvHzUrlSLaFWYjRNax3rZdhxxjlEr7kEy979F2M5s5LLDRBUwcqvYrMSeW9OA7APqdCoGJtsg3pyLDjrcgz0Eowr1_4UcqRHrUdjoAz3vnnTWd3hDe02mLHeYpaxc05KQZLtd7/s1600/RedDress.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgglTHZgYvHzUrlSLaFWYjRNax3rZdhxxjlEr7kEy979F2M5s5LLDRBUwcqvYrMSeW9OA7APqdCoGJtsg3pyLDjrcgz0Eowr1_4UcqRHrUdjoAz3vnnTWd3hDe02mLHeYpaxc05KQZLtd7/s1600/RedDress.png" height="320" width="164" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">November is the time of the year when many of us are feeling
a bit fatigued. Even if it has been a year filled with celebration and success,
somewhere in our spirits we are craving renewal, rejuvenation, restoration and relaxation.
We have worked hard, studied hard, labored hard and loved hard and in many ways
we have reached a crescendo. We need a release because we are full, pregnant
with accumulated experiences, and our minds, spirits and bodies need a break, a
respite. We need to emotionally, spiritually and physically exhale to release
the residue of our transitions, losses, challenges, disappointments, changes
and pain. We also need to exhale to release the residue of our growth,
development and success because even though positive, those experiences
required much of us and also required much from us. We desire, and in some
ways, our spirits beg for rest.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">But it is in those
quiet nights when I am tossing and turning when my mind won’t rest and my body won’t
relax, that I list my blessings. I enumerate how God has orchestrated my pains
and my gains, a little bit of good and a little bit of bad, the simple and the complex,
and the ups and the downs to get me where I am today. And God is so amazing
that many times I just sit and wonder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because it is in those midnight hours that I see how my experiences fit
like pieces of an intricate puzzle. And in those reflective moments, I realize
how each piece, some smooth and some jagged, was used to develop me, equip me
and strengthen me. And it is at those moments when I am all alone, sometimes
crying in desperation and sometimes crying in celebration, that I am the most
grateful.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Sometimes I am
grateful that things are going well and sometimes I am grateful that things are
not as bad as they could be. But nestled in my spirit is a song, an old hymn of
the church, called “It Is Well With My Soul”. I sing that song or I just dwell
on the meaning of the song and thankfully peace finds me. I don’t feel peaceful
immediately, but that song slowly penetrates my soul and reaches those hidden,
vulnerable crevices of my spirit to remind me that indeed “It Is Well With My Soul”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is at those quiet meditative moments when
I feel most grateful.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">So, what am I am most grateful for in 2014? I am grateful
for agitation. This year I have been pestered, provoked, pushed, pulled and pursued.
I have worried more than I should have even though I didn’t realize at the time
that I was worrying at all. Unfortunately, my body knew and it protested
vigorously. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">But it has been at those times when I felt the most
aggravated that I really experienced my full potential as a mother, daughter,
minister, business owner, professional and person. It was at those most
emotionally demanding times that I was able to use frustration as fuel to
create new options, develop innovative approaches, generate new revenue, form strategic
alliances, seek wiser counsel and most importantly, pray. It was at those times
when I was at my most vulnerable places that I reached out, reached in and
reached up for strength to handle situations and circumstances that were
painful, complicated, baffling and life-threatening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was hard, God knows it was hard, and some
issues have yet to be resolved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">But I am so grateful that I was agitated,
and frequently so, because it forced me to see my potential, nurture my resilience,
forgive others, forgive myself and to love differently, not always more deeply,
but differently.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">I am grateful that God used agitation as a catalyst and
clarifier in my life. I am grateful that God shook the proverbial nest and forced
me to fly, albeit sometimes reluctantly. I grateful that I was forced out my
comfort zone and into my genius zone which allowed <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>me to get a glimpse of what God could do if I
would open my head, my heart and my hand<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>to new possibilities and to new options. I am grateful that I was
agitated and fired up to be the best SharRon I could be. I am grateful!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">I am grateful for inspiration. In 2014, I have been inspired
to try things that I never tried before and inspired to imagine possibilities
than I never imagined before. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I wasn’t
good at everything I tried, but trying identified and confirmed my strengths, talents
and abilities which convinced me that I was <u>not</u> performing up to my full
potential or capacity</b>. And so, I am grateful for succeeding at some things
and failing at some things because I now have new data to propel me forward. I now
have information that will help me better direct, maximize and focus my efforts
in my personal and professional lives. I am ready for growth, expansion, new
horizons, new ideas and new opportunities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I now have a clearer vision for my life. I am grateful!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">I am also grateful for the inspiration that God sent me
through other amazing people. God is so God that God always sent me
encouragement just when I needed it most. God sent me the right song at the
right time to soothe me. God sent me the right friends at the right time to
encourage and me. God lead people to send cards, letters, text messages and
email messages that supported me. Even during the tough times, and there were
many, I was encouraged, motivated, calmed, comforted, fortified and urged to
do, to be, to go, to say and to try. I was blessed by poems, pictures, proverbs,
pasta and pats on the back. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">All acts of
kindness were instrumental in healing my heart when it was broken, lifting my
spirit when it was low, filling my stomach when it was empty and strengthening
my soul when it was weak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was
blessed!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank you. I am grateful!</b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_70FP6XflHeDwrOvpG8qAWfyutc9IGApTNS22ysGwlhDLPDfBMBfUI7op0Ptc5VfrQ2GxfIdbHaCd0PROTpCoEiU_3b1HUsOkEvHcqQJ-frI8arMKXLpkWNWCKZcK5oa55ac1ki_QD04r/s1600/affirmations.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_70FP6XflHeDwrOvpG8qAWfyutc9IGApTNS22ysGwlhDLPDfBMBfUI7op0Ptc5VfrQ2GxfIdbHaCd0PROTpCoEiU_3b1HUsOkEvHcqQJ-frI8arMKXLpkWNWCKZcK5oa55ac1ki_QD04r/s1600/affirmations.png" height="228" width="320" /></span></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am grateful for affirmation. Let’s face it – it is a
wonderful feeling when people affirm you, your gifts, your calling and your
vision because we all desire to be noticed, appreciated and valued even if we
don’t admit it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And even though public
affirmation is not the “be-all, in-all”, it does feel good. It feels good to be
affirmed by your peers, family members, colleagues and co-laborers. It feels
amazing to have your talent respected, lauded and applauded. It feels good when
people take the time to express respect for what you do and for who you are. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">It is feels good because affirmation is more
than a compliment. It is one of the highest expressions of gratitude</b></span><strong><span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-weight: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> because it is a way of telling people thank you for
just being you, thank you for your contributions, thank you for sharing
yourself with the world, thank you for your inner beauty and thank you for
walking in your purpose. Affirmations are powerful and life-giving; </span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">they are</span></strong><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> salve for the human soul.</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">I am grateful for all of you who have affirmed my work and
affirmed my very existence. You have encouraged me to step more out on faith, to
speak more of my truth, to celebrate more of who I am and to live authentically
as I can – flaws, failures, faults and all. You created, supported and
fortified a space where I can be vulnerable, transparent, wrong and silly
without judgment and ridicule. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">This
adage is so true for me: only free people can free people. You were free and
you allowed me to be free</b>. Thank you! I am grateful!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">Agitation, inspiration and affirmation!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am
grateful that all three have aided in my transformation, edification,
preparation and propelled me toward my divine destination. I am grateful for
these three wonderful gifts that have helped me become a better me. Thank you! I
appreciate all of you so much and I am not only grateful, but I am hopeful
because the best ME is yet to come. Blessings!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Blessings! </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">SharRon Jamison </span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.createloveforwomen.com/"><span style="color: #a13da5; font-family: inherit;">www.createloveforwomen.com</span></a><br /><a href="http://www.icandependonme-sharronjamison.com/"><span style="color: #a13da5; font-family: inherit;">www.icandependonme-sharronjamison.com</span></a><br /><a href="http://www.sharronjamison.com/"><span style="color: #a13da5; font-family: inherit;">www.sharronjamison.com</span></a><br /><a href="mailto:SharRoneJamison@gmail.com"><span style="color: #a13da5; font-family: inherit;">SharRoneJamison@gmail.com</span></a></span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10130464382565256380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567195873604332557.post-79619045604032368132014-11-25T06:01:00.000-08:002014-11-25T09:20:37.481-08:0010 Days of Gratitude: Day 2 - Creating Magic By April VanMansfeld<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAZggkeRDA4JNk9dkhDHCkKHW8EZ5c2XrjdRvIyUjuWT0wZEw-pKg11CrNoCf7ukLE_bWJAx8S4h5bv1nNxbeIAraCeU7jiM8QBsyCCH4VpIOfnmA_UXG0lom3ogWzaAXhmEyA7FfiLngt/s1600/me_n_mama+easter.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAZggkeRDA4JNk9dkhDHCkKHW8EZ5c2XrjdRvIyUjuWT0wZEw-pKg11CrNoCf7ukLE_bWJAx8S4h5bv1nNxbeIAraCeU7jiM8QBsyCCH4VpIOfnmA_UXG0lom3ogWzaAXhmEyA7FfiLngt/s400/me_n_mama+easter.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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When I was very little, sometime between ages 2 – 4, my absolute FAVORITE thing to do was to curl up with my Mama on her bed, lay my head on her stomach and listen to it because it always sounded like the Okefenokee Swamp to my little ears and imagination…</div>
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In keeping with our Western tradition of appropriation, we’ve taken religious and philosophical ideals of mindfulness and intention from other cultures flipped them inside out, turned them all akimbo and warped them to somehow mirror and further justify our instant gratification existence to the point of turning an entire range of emotions and states of being into something to be avoided or rushed through at all costs. Anger, fear, loneliness, despair, heartache, worry, discomfort, hopelessness… All of them are relegated to the realm of things one is to leapfrog over as soon as the feelings first appear. Some would go so far as to claim that acknowledging these feelings is tantamount to being ungrateful for all that is going right in one’s life or calling more “negativity” into one’s life.<br />
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But wait a minute. If everything we experience is of and from the divine, then so too are all those “negative” emotions. Each is an indicator that something in our realm of reality is no longer fitting our needs or serving our personhood. Sometimes you have a modicum of control over those circumstances. You can quickly and easily remove yourself from the cause of your angst. In those moments, take the leap and be done with it. Other times, it’s not so easy. Life happens to all of us, at any given moment, with no warning and with no concern for our demographics or our lot in life. It just happens. It’s at those times that we find out just how little control we have over the other people and entities in our world. We can’t wish the issue away. We can’t miraculously shift the paradigm by virtue of our force of will. Pushing ourselves through our very real, very appropriate emotional reactions can actually cause the very long-term damage that we think we’re avoiding by jumping ahead to “fine”. Unexercised loneliness, hopelessness and heartache become bitterness. Unexpressed anger, fear and despair become rage. Unprocessed bitterness and rage become disease. Denial is NOT dealing with it. And dealing with it isn’t flailing aimlessly in an abyss you can’t come back from.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC3us5HscRdNY46PfGnn2yJPJFZVyOrh6VUZqPcc12Qo8WCm1RS93tZ59VXr4_trtdWufWRS1oCAOCMsj2kBouyuPeRSwr2Q1x6OxA2O0hVwLSOC5URb4nRB7AqIioUcNXaHTarXnPHeH4/s1600/me+_n_mama.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC3us5HscRdNY46PfGnn2yJPJFZVyOrh6VUZqPcc12Qo8WCm1RS93tZ59VXr4_trtdWufWRS1oCAOCMsj2kBouyuPeRSwr2Q1x6OxA2O0hVwLSOC5URb4nRB7AqIioUcNXaHTarXnPHeH4/s320/me+_n_mama.png" width="320" /></a>Learning to be with yourself in the midst of your discomfort, in the pit of your “what in the hot and holy is THIS new bag of Hell”, is a skill set that will always serve your highest good. The next time it all falls apart or hits the fan or leaves you chipped cracked broken decimated… The next time life hands you a box of lemons, which upon opening you discover are also rotten… I challenge you to dig deep and find it within yourself to give yourself permission to just BE. Sit with your heartache, your loneliness, your disappointment, your fear. Pull it out and look at it. What shape is it? What color and hue? What size is it? How does it smell? How does it taste? What texture does it have? What’s the viscosity? Is it hot or cold? Where do you feel it in your body? Is it pain or pressure? Sharp? Dull? Constant or in waves? Static or pulsating? How does it sound? How does it move? Is it an old wound reopened or is it fresh and new? Where does it come from? What does it want? No, really. Try it. Try to see your feelings as of and from you, but not part of you. <br />
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Once you have a deeper understanding of the cause and affects of your emotions, once you own them, once you accept what’s so, you regain your power. You are no longer at the mercy of your feelings or circumstances. You are in alignment with what is so in your reality. This is not a one size fits all quick fix. You won’t float through the rest of your experience, day, week, year, life… You will most definitely repeat the process countless times throughout your life. You will most definitely get caught off guard, side-swiped by life, and go spiraling back to that leapfrog to alright instant gratification pill we were all encouraged to swallow. That’s fine. As stated above, there are occasions when the circumstances warrant it. There are also those life altering moments when the only way out is through. When you will simply have to BE horrified terrified lonely unsure and aching. Moments when you will have to let go of the ledge and fall back into the abyss of nothingness. <br />
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It is while you are in that nothingness that the divine, the universe, your highest self, whomever you rely on, will throw you the lifeline you are most needing to get you back on the path to understanding, the freeing truth in acceptance and the leap to gratitude for all of it.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_ilj9CKZmNFy0gZyFxvRqXnZh3Ws0e9qwZxB8_bYV0o-oHFJymA7m5GGPsCOZTnDPiikrTRMOPCCFNngOgYOaKg1t6EFPl5NHXFtsp4Cl8HLwpwJ_K6HjWIaYTF_t3PsA-DoU1A8OEcJs/s1600/mama+at+chemo.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_ilj9CKZmNFy0gZyFxvRqXnZh3Ws0e9qwZxB8_bYV0o-oHFJymA7m5GGPsCOZTnDPiikrTRMOPCCFNngOgYOaKg1t6EFPl5NHXFtsp4Cl8HLwpwJ_K6HjWIaYTF_t3PsA-DoU1A8OEcJs/s320/mama+at+chemo.png" width="260" /></a>This past Saturday was the cherry on top of a few successive weeks of hell, which is just the latest in half a year of hits to my little fiefdom. Running late to get to my Mom, a no win no end in sight fight with my wife, a “this is what the doctors won’t tell you about your Mom’s condition” conversation with a trusted medical professional & friend of the family, and 20 minutes of sobbing as I sat in her driveway. I then got myself together, mustered up a smile and took myself in her house. Fast forward through a quick unhealthy dinner, and I find myself following my Mama back to her room. She’s only gotten out of bed when absolutely necessary for the past week, which only makes my heart that much heavier. She climbs her little self into bed and fluffs her pillows, making space for me to sit at the foot of her bed. I’m not quite sure how it happened, but after several trips to the kitchen for her, I find myself sitting next to her and then curling up on the pillows by her side, watching tv. Forty years later our roles have reversed. She is now the smaller of the two of us and I am lying on the outside of the bed as if to keep her protected. It’s my stomach making swamp noises. And it is this moment, as I lay there being in my loneliness, my sadness, my helplessness and my despair that the divine gives me a sense of peace and grace. With my little world crumbling around me, in spite of being in all of my “negative” feelings, my goddess granted me moments I haven’t experienced in 40 years and thought I’d never experience again. By accepting what is so in my life instead of ignoring it or hoping it’d all miraculously go away because I willed it to, I rearranged my life to fit this heartbreaking lonely place in my journey. And by doing that, I got my miracle. In the depth of my sorrow, curled up next to my Mama, I got that feeling of total love and acceptance and security I haven’t had since I was 4. In her acceptance of her reality, my Mama let herself need me as much as and at the same time as I needed her. And we, with the help of the divine, found and held each other in the midst of our void, each bringing the other back to face the fire one more day, one step at a time. There is power in being with one’s deepest most painful feelings. It is in those spaces that we hear and receive our most beautiful gifts to and from ourselves, others and the divine.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7nszGIXwc5jUmLHn5-vWB6zFK9x45J_vZMuJrYknIsyw6n9ey5JefEry3T_jUyVy1xUOb3ebNg16RdR16DZt7tu4PXuRktE6JTtqfF1jVJyqkhl4_T07rwDzw-tBy6Dx1SOZYA1z-AixG/s1600/me_n_mama+4yrsold.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7nszGIXwc5jUmLHn5-vWB6zFK9x45J_vZMuJrYknIsyw6n9ey5JefEry3T_jUyVy1xUOb3ebNg16RdR16DZt7tu4PXuRktE6JTtqfF1jVJyqkhl4_T07rwDzw-tBy6Dx1SOZYA1z-AixG/s400/me_n_mama+4yrsold.png" width="400" /></a>The next time you’re tempted to soar past your angst, remember how close you are to creating magic. Sit with it, be with it. And get ready to make some magic.<br />
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Ase’<br />
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April VanMansfeld<br />
TigerWolf, Inc.<br />
EarthMuther Inc<br />
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