Meet The Beautiful Couple:
Wendy Smith and Anita Haugabrook
How long have you been together?
2 years and 10 months. We are getting married on October 6.
How did you get together/meet?
Anita: We met randomly at a LAP (Ladies at Play) event in Atlanta, Georgia. She was the most stunning woman that I had ever laid eyes on. But soon as I saw her she disappeared. Two weeks later, Facebook suggested that Wendy add me as a friend. When she appeared on my computer screen, I was more than ecstatic! I said “It’s YOU, the mystery lady”. Wendy replied, “There’s no mystery to me”. From there the love story began and continues today.
What would you say is the key to the success of your relationship?
Communication and the desire to want to understand each other - not simply settling for “we just don’t see eye to eye”, but seeking to understand why. We believe in loving each other despite and through our faults”.
Discuss how you deal with and face challenges that might come up in your relationship?
We face challenges primarily through open discussion and dialogue. We grew up in totally different worlds which sometimes lead to different points of view. But by giving each other a chance to voice why we feel or think in a certain way has gotten us through various misunderstandings
Wendy: For example, I was raised by my father in Detroit and Anita comes from a two parent home. Anita comes from a deeply religious family that worshiped together. My Dad sent me and my sister to church by ourselves on the “Joy Bus”. Anita is more open and readily sees the good in others. Because of my background, I tend to be more cynical. We help each other. I help her be less naïve, and she helps me be less negative.
What role does spirituality play in your relationship?
Spiritually is the truly the CENTER of our relationship. It is the tie that binds. We pray together, we worship together, we study together. We both know that beyond a show of a doubt, God predestined us for each other! Our faith in GOD is the source of our strength!
What strengthens your relationship: We love the fact that we have our own lives. We don’t lose our friends or our focus on ourselves. We both welcome and celebrate our independence and our individuality.
What role does sensuality and mutual attraction play in your relationship?
Sensuality is unique to everyone so understanding what that (sensuality) is for another is huge. It could be as simple as a glance, or an intimate as a lingering kiss. As for mutual attraction, it is our “foreplay” if you will - the flirting across the room or the nice, naughty text messages. These play a significant role.
What tips would you give to other lesbian couples?
Take time to get to know each other, date…..continue with separate homes for at least a year or two. Cohabiting is a HUGE challenge and it is much harder when you don’ know each other. Keep the lines of communication open and always be willing to understand your partner, even if it doesn’t make sense to you. Lastly, remember you are responsible for her heart.
Discuss a fun way that you communicate love:
Wendy: I made a jar filled with handwritten notes that explain why I love Anita. Every time Anita does not feel like I love her, she takes out one note out and reads it to remind her why I love her so much. I add notes to the jar too.
Can you say more about the key to your success?
Surround yourselves with positive, like-minded individuals who will hold you both accountable to each other and are vested in the lasting of your relationship. (Interviewed by SharRon Jamison)
Thank you, Wendy and Anita, for sharing your love with us. We appreciate your time, energy and generosity in helping us CREATE LOVE!
Much love to you,