Monday, November 18, 2013

Happy Couple Highlights: Yvonne & Marcie Younger


Yvonne & Marcie Younger
from Chicago, Illinois
  
How long have you been together?  Marcie: We have been together for 10 years and we have been married for 9 years. We just renewed our vows on September 8, 2013. Yvonne: Yes, we have been together for 10 years with ups and downs but we are still standing as one.

Congrats on 10 years. What made you renew your vows? Marcie: In 10 years you go through so much. For example, last year I almost died. I went in the hospital for a surgery that should have lasted only 45 minutes but the surgery lasted almost 9 hours. After the surgery, I was in a coma for two days and then I had multiple stays in the hospital. It was a tough time. Yvonne had to go to work, take care of the kids and take care of me. It was work and people need to know that relationships don’t just flow; they take work. Yvonne: Renewing our vows was important to me because we had experienced so many ups and downs.  Our relationship was starting to balance out like it should have. And, with all that we had been though, I had a better perspective on family and family values.

Sometimes relationships don’t survive major illnesses. What did you learn about her during that experience that made you love her more?  Marcie: I learned that I was always the caregiver and that I did not know how to let someone take care of me. But I had to let my wife help me and that showed me that she could take care of me. So, I learned it was ok to let her love and care for me and that I don’t always have to be the caregiver. Yvonne:  When my wife was sick, I realized that she was my rock and the heart of our family. I had to care for her like she cared for everyone else. Without her, I’m not me. You never think the person you love could ever leave you so soon.  That experience made me love the way that Marcie does; she loves hard.  I learned to “love hard” because you never know what might happen.

How did you get together/meet?  Yvonne:  We met at a club.  I gave my wife my cell phone number to call, but she didn’t call until a month later. Marcie: I was not looking nor did I want a girlfriend because I had just broken up with a nut case. lol. The night I met Yvonne she told me that she was going to take me out. But I told her that I just came to see the show. I wasn’t interested.

Marcie, why did it take so long for you to call? First, she had a girlfriend and secondly, I was not trying to be bothered. Also at the club she was intoxicated and was "making it rain". And, I didn’t like Yvonne because I thought she was arrogant. She was even late for our first date and then stayed on the phone at the table.

Yvonne, why did you stay on the phone? I was just being a jerk. I always had a certain air about me and women would let me run over them. But when Marcie came along and I was on the phone, she told me good-bye and have a nice day.  Oh my God….it was something about Marcie and that experience that made me see her.

What was the initial attraction? Yvonne: Marcie just appeared to be secure in her own skin. I loved her personality and energy; she was different: Marcie: It wasn’t an instant attraction. When I initially called her, she did not remember me because she had been drinking when we first met. When we met for cocktails and dinner, she was rude. She talked on the phone for 30 minutes while I was waiting at the table. When she saw that I was about to leave, all of a sudden she got off the phone and we had a good time. We have been together ever since.

How did your children respond to the relationship? Yvonne: At first, the oldest one would look at me crazy. The middle son was a little standoffish but after we took a family outing, everything was ok. Marcie: It was not just about them. I was married to their dad for 12 years and he was crazy. He was so crazy that he didn’t even know when we got divorced. I wanted to be happy.

What is the key to the success of your relationship?  Yvonne: We are always honest and we remain open-minded. Marcie: I took my time to really learn my wife. I took my time to get to know her ups and downs. I feel as if I am built for her.

Some couples have trouble being honest. What areas are the most difficult for you to be honest: Marcie:  Here is a good example. We started having some problems and I didn’t understand why. I had gotten too heavy and realized that she didn’t like a “fatty”. All I wanted her to do was to tell me- to tell me the truth. People need to tell their partners if they are getting overweight or if they are not maintaining themselves. That’s important. Yvonne: Being honest is sometimes hard because you don’t want to offend anyone. I would ask “you want to go to the gym” but I didn’t say anything directly about her weight. But with Marcie I should have been blunt because she is very cut and dry.

How do you deal with and face challenges that come up in your relationship? Marcie:  We deal with them by knowing that we are human and that mistakes will be made. We can deal with anything through talking. And if you never close your heart and soul to the love you have for the person, you can face and deal with anything together. Yvonne: We have been through a lot but we always stand strong; we don’t allow any difficult challenges to defeat us. Prayer is the key in our relationship.

Why do you feel that couples close their hearts to each other?  Yvonne: Couples close their hearts when they feel that nobody is listening. Sometimes people need to change and compromise but if you don’t listen, how can you learn what people need or what people expect? That’s why we tell people to take their time but now everybody wants to get married. Marriage is work and you have to be open and willing to listen and change. Marcie: Yes, people close their hearts when they don’t feel heard and listened to. Knowing how to open your heart and knowing how to fall back to see what is really going on, no matter how good or bad, is important. You must have compassion for whatever your partner is going through.  

Yvonne: Marcie is right, communication is the key. You have to talk, but you also need to listen. Marcie: I am head-strong but Yvonne gives good feedback and I always stick around to listen to what she says. After I listen, I have to think about and then talk about it because I need to make sure I really understand. I listen to her because I want to hear her. Yvonne: Marcie has taught me a lot and I don’t have problems taking feedback from her. People need to accept when they make mistakes and when things go wrong; you got to be opened-minded.

Every relationship has “Relationship Rules” that support the union. What are your rules? Yvonne: I always tell her that I love her. And, I always call while I am driving. That’s not a rule because I love talking to her. I just enjoy being with Marcie. Marcie: When we get mad each other, we have to fix it in 24 hours and I am usually the one who has to go to her☺. We always embrace and kiss before we leave each other- no matter what.

What role does spirituality play in your relationship? Marcie: I have been studying Buddhism and I have noticed a difference in my life. I have been through so much and meditation has helped. I feel more peaceful. Yvonne: I have started reading Buddhism because I saw miraculous changes in Marcie. I want to grow with her; I want us to grow together because we are one. Marcie: I was also built for my wife; we are one because God made me for her and her for me. We are one body and one love.

What role does sensuality play in your relationship? Yvonne: It is major because you need to be in tune with yourself and with your spouse. Marcie: I am a sexual and sensual person and I very attracted to Yvonne. She has the prettiest smile and she has a nice ass. She’s a good provider and she’s an amazing partner. Yvonne: I love how Marcie moves a crowd. Wherever she goes, she has a positive effect on people. She’s so gorgeous to me.

What’s the most romantic thing that she has ever done for you? Yvonne: Marcie took me on my first cruise. Now whenever she plans something, I know it will be fun. Marcie: Four months into our relationship, we were in a mall and we went into a jewelry store. She said pick out a ring because we are getting married. That’s was romantic to me.

What do you most admire about her? Marcie: I love that Yvonne allows me to be me. I am very head-strong and my wife lets me be me. I love her for that. Yvonne: I admire her confidence; she so secure. She’s irresistible and she makes me laugh.

What has your relationship taught you most about yourself?  Marcie:  I have learned that I can go though anything if we go through it together. When I married Yvonne I truly married my life-long love. Yvonne:  I have learned that I am not alone in our relationship; my wife is my soul mate. I have learned to study my wife’s soul.

What advice would you give to other couples? Marcie: Love and love hard. Fight for you partner and never let her feel alone and unloved. If you do that, nothing will come between you. Yvonne: Get to know your spouse’s mind, body, feelings and soul. Study and learn what makes her tick. Remember why you met and never forget your purpose. A marriage is not shallow; it is more than just the physical. Marcie: Don’t forget why you fell in love in the 1st place. When couples forget why they love each other, it’s time to get a divorce.

If you could thank her for one thing, what would that be? Yvonne: I would thank her for letting my mother move in with us. It was a battle at first but now everything is good. Marcie: I would thank her for coming into my life and truly changing it. I would thank her for learning how to love a woman with three children and knowing how to stick and stay.

What 1 word describes and characterizes your relationship and why? Yvonne: Love, our love has grown and it is fun. I enjoy her. Marcie: Phenomenal, even through the good and bad times, we have learned how to make it work. We love each other, but we also like other. I am happy.


(Interviewed by SharRon Jamison)
 
We thank you for sharing your love with us at Create Love! Your story will encourage, inspire and uplift other couples. We wish you continued success and happiness. www.createloveforwomen.com

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Imani Evans and SharRon Jamison 

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