Diana Dulaney and Michelle Whidbee
Coral Spring, Florida
How long have you been together? We just celebrated our 12 year anniversary on May 26th.How did you get together/meet:?Diana: We met on the internet on a dating site in 2001. Michelle had an ad saying, “Looking for someone who likes weekend getaways, spends quality time and has movie nights.” I knew that I didn’t have a shot, but I went for it anyway. Michelle: We chatted and hit it off really well. Then we made arrangements to meet at a bowling alley for lunch. It was then that I knew I wanted her in my life. We have been together since the day we first made eye contact. We are living proof that love at first sight does exist. I feel as if I was her birthday gift from God.
What was the initial attraction? Diana: Well there are a few things. She is “bow-legged” and I find that to be very sexy. Her deep dimples are to die for. I’ve always seen Michelle in a special light and I always will. I fell in love the first time we met and I knew that I wanted her in my life forever. Michelle: What attracted me was her complexion. Her skin was (still is) like dark chocolate—so smooth and so flawless that it glowed. I just wanted to touch her to see if it felt as good as it looked. It still looks that way to this very day! When she looked at me on that first day we met, there was an instant attraction. I still see that same look in her eyes. I always catch her looking at me when she thinks that I am not looking. She gave me back something that I had lost, my self-esteem. She made me feel pretty and sexy….wanted.
How did she help you regain/repair your self-esteem? Michelle: When I was married, my life revolved around my marriage and my husband. But after I got divorced, I was by myself. I had no one to talk to. When I met Diana, we connected because we had some of the same experiences. We both dealt with weight gain, bad marriages and low self-esteem. But, she made feel strong and beautiful. Diana: When I saw Michelle, I was married and was going through a tough time. Michelle always complimented me which boosted my self-esteem. I had issues around my skin color but she made me feel pretty and always treated me like a queen. I said to myself “If I am going to lose my marriage, it will be for her”.
What would you say is the key to the success of your relationship? Diana: We have an open line of communication. We trust each other’s decision making. Michelle is my best friend and my heart. Michelle: We always talk everything through, from our finances to our three children’s’ lives. We have trust. She knows that what I tell her or how I respond to any questions/ concerns is from my heart. She knows that I always have her best interest at heart too. We also have security and she knows if she leans, I will be there to prop her up. When she stumbles, I will catch her. And when she falls, I will pick her up. I let her know that my love is unconditional. Diana: I have three children. My youngest was nine when we met. Michelle always told me that she was dating me and them because she knew she had to gain their trust also. She has a huge heart and she’s a very loving person; my kids love her as much as I do.
Dating women with children can be rewarding, yet challenging. What tips can you share? Diana: When I was first talking to Michelle, I was afraid to tell her that I had kids because I thought that it would discourage her. But it didn’t. She always understood if I couldn’t do something or if I had to be home for the children. She never pressured me. Michelle: It is never an easy thing when kids have shared their life with another person. But, you have to date the children too and work to gain their trust. If you love the person, you have to love the children. You have to connect with them. I let them know that I was not trying to be a parent; I wanted to be a friend.
Diana: Michelle made herself available to my kids and her family has always accepted my kids. If it wasn’t for Michelle’s family, my kids would not have had a family. She is my dream come true. Michelle: We never argued in front of the kids either. We have our discussions behind closed doors. And, I never punished the kids. I let Diana do that.
Discuss how you deal with and face challenges that might come up in your relationship: Diana: I’m the nervous one! Michelle is always so calm. When things get rough/tough Michelle always says, “Di, it’s going to be ok.” We always have each other’s back; we are a team. Together we can handle whatever comes our way. Michelle: I am very big on communication so I always want talk to Diana about any challenges that I/we might face. I know I can depend on her to remind me of my strength and to remind me about the things we have overcome in our past. We always discuss our challenges in bed facing each other. I feel that helps us because we get to see each other’s expressions and emotions. It gives me strength to know she believes that I can overcome anything.
Olivia (Scandal) said “If you want me, earn me”. How did you earn her love? Michelle: Diana has some health issues and when I met her, she felt that she was confining me because she couldn’t do some things. But I had to prove to her that I was bonded to her and to the children. When she goes to the hospital, I am with her. If she stays the night, I stay with her. When she goes to the doctor, it is not her appointment, it is our appointment. I am there. Because of her health issues, she can’t work but I told her, “you take care of home and I will take care of the outside”. I will always offer her that security. Diana: Michelle has a big heart and she makes me feel safe. When things come up, I panic, but she lets me know that she will always be there for me. Whatever we need, she makes it happen. She’s unbelievable! I do things for her too, and she always appreciates it. She appreciates the little things.
What role does spirituality play in your relationship? Michelle: It plays a big part because I was raised by a single mother and so was she. We were taught to pray on any and everything. I never lose faith in God for He will make all things possible. He will provide a way and bless us. We strongly believe in that and we have raised our children with that same belief. A family that prays together stays together. I can smile and say 12 years later that we are still praying. Diana: Spirituality plays a big role. We both have a strong faith in God. When something bad happens, we say it must be a test from God. Michelle has taught me how to relax and always tells me that God would never put too much on us that we couldn’t handle. She always reminds me that just because I want something to happen right now that God has a time when He will provide it. So, be patient for He is with you/us.
What role does spirituality play in your relationship? Michelle: It plays a big part because I was raised by a single mother and so was she. We were taught to pray on any and everything. I never lose faith in God for He will make all things possible. He will provide a way and bless us. We strongly believe in that and we have raised our children with that same belief. A family that prays together stays together. I can smile and say 12 years later that we are still praying. Diana: Spirituality plays a big role. We both have a strong faith in God. When something bad happens, we say it must be a test from God. Michelle has taught me how to relax and always tells me that God would never put too much on us that we couldn’t handle. She always reminds me that just because I want something to happen right now that God has a time when He will provide it. So, be patient for He is with you/us.
What role does sensuality play in your relationship? Diana: It plays a very important role, hee heeeee! Michelle is VERY GOOD at expressing herself. She loves to touch and caress me all of the time. I love to explore and try new things to keep things exciting. I love when she looks at me and notices my devilish smirk on my face. I love knowing she is pleased. I can look into her eyes and see the same glow from when I first met her. We even have matching tattoos (mushy moment) with two cherries that says “Real Love”. We truly believe that’s what we have. Michelle: It plays another major role! I still look at Diana like the first day I saw/met her. But now I get to touch/see her whenever I want and need to. I love to feel her skin. I love the softness and I love to run my fingers over every curve of her body. By just doing that, I am completely satisfied. I love when she rubs my back until her hands get hot (smile). My love for her is so deep that I can’t sleep unless I can smell her and feel her body heat. Her smell, touch and feel are intoxicating!
What are your “Relationship Rules” that support your union? Diana: Never go to bed angry. God forbid if something happens to one of us. The thought of not being able to say, “I love you bay” would be devastating and we could never live with that. Michelle: We don’t argue in front of the kids. We really only argue about her medicine and her doctor’s appointments. Also, never put your hands on each other. If you are angry, walk away. Diana: No name calling.
What advice would you give to other couples? Diana: Have faith, always communicate, and put 110% effort into your relationship, put effort into knowing your partner’s needs/wants, give love unconditionally, complement each other and give hugs. Michelle and I believe that when you hug, your body exudes certain energy. Also, give each other space when needed. Michelle: Always pray together and for each other. Always communicate openly and never lose trust. Once trust is gone, communication becomes limited. Once that happens, you will begin to look elsewhere to fill that void. Yes, communication is a key because chances are that they are thinking the same thing you are.
What has your relationship taught you most about yourself? Michelle: It taught me to trust and it has taught me that I am a strong woman and to love unconditionally. Faith has given me the strength to be a provider for Diana and our children. But most of all, her faith allowed me to see that I am a strong black woman who can offer her love, a happy home and security. Diana: It taught me that there is someone who can love me the way I need/want to be loved, and that I can reciprocate that love, and then some. Our relationship has shown me that there are still some good people out there. It has also taught me how to communicate openly. Before, I held everything in. Our relationship has shown me that she was the total package of everything that I dreamed of, and I have faith we will grow old together. I have never been this happy in a relationship in my life.
What has your relationship taught you most about yourself? Michelle: It taught me to trust and it has taught me that I am a strong woman and to love unconditionally. Faith has given me the strength to be a provider for Diana and our children. But most of all, her faith allowed me to see that I am a strong black woman who can offer her love, a happy home and security. Diana: It taught me that there is someone who can love me the way I need/want to be loved, and that I can reciprocate that love, and then some. Our relationship has shown me that there are still some good people out there. It has also taught me how to communicate openly. Before, I held everything in. Our relationship has shown me that she was the total package of everything that I dreamed of, and I have faith we will grow old together. I have never been this happy in a relationship in my life.
What do you most admire about her? Diana: I admire her big heart and her determination to make our relationship work. Michelle pulls strings to make things work; she does whatever it takes to take care of us. Michelle: I admire the trust that she places in me. She put her trust and her children’s trust in my hands when she left her marriage with just the clothes on her back. We now have things together that we never had before. Her trust made me step up.
If you could thank her for one thing, what will that be? Diana: I would thank her for coming into my life and for showing me how it feels to be loved and for allowing me to love her. Michelle: I would thank for giving me children and for giving me a chance to raise children. That was a blessing. I feel like her children are mine.
What one word describes/characterizes her relationship and why? Michelle: Happiness. When we first started dating, we didn’t tell our kids we were gay. We just said that we were happy. We were being happy and we still make each other happy. Diana: Blessing: Our relationship has everything – spirituality, connection, trust and communication. The only word that describes our relationship and our family is the word blessing.
What one word describes/characterizes her relationship and why? Michelle: Happiness. When we first started dating, we didn’t tell our kids we were gay. We just said that we were happy. We were being happy and we still make each other happy. Diana: Blessing: Our relationship has everything – spirituality, connection, trust and communication. The only word that describes our relationship and our family is the word blessing.
(Interviewed by SharRon Jamison)
We thank you for sharing your love with us at Create Love! Your story will encourage, inspire and uplift other couples. We wish you continued success and happiness. www.createloveforwomen.com
Create Love -- Founders
Imani Evans and SharRon Jamison
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