HAPPY COUPLE:
Juanita Davis and Stephanie “TY” Williams
How long have you been together? 2 years 5 months
How did you get together/meet? Juanita: I was actually dating
someone when I was first introduced to
.JPG)
What was the initial attraction? Juanita:
Her conversation….it was open and natural. She wasn’t just saying things she thought I
wanted to hear. She told me things that
probably would have made someone else run- like being in open relationships,
being broken and needed to work on her. Oh, and she was beautiful! Stephanie: When she requested me as a friend,of
course, I went to check her out. I
looked at her photos and found myself visiting them often. What was attractive to me (and still is) was that
she was (and still is) a voluptuous woman - confident and beautiful - and that
is very sexy to me. I did not comment on
her photos because so many others did and I did not want to be just another one
in the bunch So I sent her a private
message entitled “Just Curious”. We
messaged each other for hours. It was so
easy to talk to her and I felt at ease.
It was like she was embracing me and my past experiences with love and
understanding.
Your relationship is still relatively new. What spiritual or emotional
preparation did you do to get ready for love?
Stephanie: I
never got a chance to do any preparation. I just got out of a relationship and
I wasn’t looking for another one. I just wanted to get me together. What really
reeled me in was our conversations on FB. Communicating with her felt good to
me. I felt comforted by her. Juanita: I had been single for over 2 years and I
was preparing myself to be in a relationship. I was working on me. I asked and
prayed to God for some specifics, and I basically got what I asked for. I
believe that I had to go through what I went through in my past relationships
to prepare for Ty.
What would you say is the key to the success of your relationship? Juanita: It’s real! We don’t
Many couples struggle with acceptance. How did you accept her vs.
wanting to change her? Stephanie: Two things: Opening up completely and
practicing compassion. She had been through a lot. Because of my growth and
experience, I am able to understand and allow her to be who she is. Compassion
because she had gone through some hard things with her family and friends. I am
52 years old, and I have been here longer so I understand that she has to go
through what she needs to go through and I accept that. Juanita: If I want her to accept me,
I had to accept her. It’s basically growth. You get to the point when you want
to be with someone and you have to allow them to be who they are.
What is different about this relationship compared to your previous
ones? Stephanie: In my other relationships, I
never gave all of me. I reserved some of me for my own safety. To even make the
decision to give all of me was “God-sent”. Being vulnerable made us stronger,
and we learned from each other. We feel like we have been together for 10 years
because of what we have been through. Juanita: Not to take away from any of my past relationships
because I did love them, but Stephanie is the first one I wanted to marry.
Discuss how you deal with and face challenges that might come up in
your relationship? Juanita: I’m a
nip-it –in-the-bud person. When
something is bothering me, I confront it and get it out the way because if it
marinates too long, you have one unhappy wife and that’s not a good look, Depending on what the situation is, I
sometimes need some alone time to let my anger die down. Then we can re-visit
the conversation and resolve it, or agree to disagree and move on. Stephanie:
We try not to let anything linger; we deal with it right away. We say what is on our mind and go from there.
How do you resolve conflict? Juanita: We don’t have problems
communicating.
When we argue, we
argue. Sometimes I scream, but we always come back to the conversation. Ty
initially had problems with that. . Stephanie: Juanita holds nothing back. She’s
right – I had to get to that point. I don’t want it to be like 2 rams locking
horns so she wins most of the disagreements. Lol. She has no filter; she has no
problem letting me know what’s going on.
What Relationship Rules or rules of engagement support your relationship:
Juanita: Always kiss me good night
and never go to bed angry. We are human so we may be still mad, but we will kissJ. Stephanie: My baby is strong-willed so I will be
the one who gives in. So when she is going through it, I have to give her
space. I don’t always follow that rule because I don’t want her to be mad at
me, but I tryJ. Juanita: Breaking up is NOT an option; whatever we
are going through, we fix it. Stephanie: I had to get her to understand that we
are still new and that we are going through a learning curve. We are still
learning each other so whatever we go through, it is not bad at all. It’s ok.
What role does spirituality play in your relationship? Juanita: Well, we have bedside church
with Joel Osteen. We have not found a
church to physically go to but we both
have our relationship with GOD. We just haven’t found a church that feels good
to us. Definitely our faith plays a big
part in this relationship and we feel this is definitely a match made in
Heaven. We have been in Atlanta at the
same time, have the same friends but not once ran into each other after that
initial meeting. I think he was
preparing me for her and vice versa. Stephanie: Spirituality is the reason we know we
belong together so it plays a huge role in our relationship. GOD definitely sent her to me because I vowed
not to be in another relationship and just work on me. It’s funny how your mind feels like it knows,
but often enough, our hearts make the final decision.
What role does sensuality play in your relationship? Stephanie: It
definitely plays a role because when I watch her or look at her it still makes
me smile because she is very sensual and sexy.
When she looks back at me with those eyes, I blush. When I catch
her looking at me it’s
so seductive. I often act like I don’t
see her looking - such a turn on” J Juanita:
We love to have sex but we don’t need to do it every single day. For me, it’s the way she looks at me, a
subtle touch, cuddling, watching TV or doing nothing together. Just being around her arouses all my senses. I
still feel that same way about her as I did when I first got with her..as that
song goes…”When I first saw you, I said Oh MY…that’s my wife…..
What do you do daily to remind her of your love? Juanita: I just don’t tell her because
actions speak louder than words. We text, sex text, leave notes around the
house and in the car, etc. I am a touchy-feely person so we are always
touching. Stephanie:
We are different. I like to hear it, she likes to show it and that was
difficult at first. Initially she would
send me a song to tell me something. I
love to buy her flowers and make my own arrangements. Juanita: We show each other by both carrying the
load in the relationship and in our home.
What do you most admire about her? Stephanie:
She’s very strong and strong-willed and that is what I need. A strong woman
makes me better. There have been times when I used someone as a crutch, but she
calls me out on it. She pushes me to do things myself. She makes me better. Juanita:
I admire so much about her. She has been through so much but she has never
given up on love.
What advice would you give to other couples? Juanita:
Honesty, Honesty, Honesty and
What did you learn about her that was healing: Stephanie: That she was supportive, no matter what
was going on and even if she was mad at me, I knew that she had me and we had
each other. Juanita: She is the first person that I have ever
wanted to marry, and I knew that within two weeks of meeting her. She is my
soul mate.
Define soul mate: Juanita: I cannot explain it, but it’s something
that I feel in the pit of my stomach. She was the person I knew I wanted to
spend my life with. Stephanie: My friend, my lover, my companion,
someone I can be completely be free to be me with-and that is her.
What has your relationship taught you most about yourself? Juanita: That
it isn’t always about me, my feelings and what I want to do. I had been single for a while and very much
independent. I had to learn how to “fit”
her into my life. I have a life partner
and it’s ok to ask for help. I don’t always have to be the strong one (but I am
still the PrincessJ). Stephanie:
I was not going to get into another relationship; I wanted to work on me. But, if you think you want to better
yourself, you cannot do it alone.
Without her, I could not see me.
We have opened each other’s eyes and embraced our flaws with love,
patience and understanding.
What one word describes your love/relationship? Juanita: Puzzle. We have a lot of pieces
–good and bad– but we fit together perfectly. Stephanie: Tenacity. We keep evolving. We have gone through a lot with each
other in a short amount of time. That usually would discourage her, but I told
her that it is ok. Because when we get through this, we will learn each other
and have the perfect relationship. We are still growing, building, and learning
which will keep us together forever.
(Interview conducted by SharRon Jamison)
Many thanks to you Stephanie and Juanita for sharing your love with us at Create Love. We wish you continued success as you Create Love in your lives.
Imani Evans
SharRon Jamison
Create Love Co-Founders
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