Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Congratulations to Attorney Phyllis R. Williams for becoming a PLATINUM SPONSOR

We appreciate your support of the Create Love Conference 2014!




The attorneys of Phyllis R. Williams, PC have the experience to help you navigate today’s complex legal system. Legal processes can be overwhelming, especially during an unannounced difficult time. We are here to help with your family law and personal injury needs. We have earned the trust of clients by keeping each individual updated, informed, educated and involved with each step of a legal case. For every case and for every client we provide superior service and personalized representation. These are our guiding principles. 

Born and raised in Miami, Florida, Phyllis R. Williams came to Atlanta in 1995 to practice law. She has been a trial attorney for most of her legal career. After graduating from University of Florida, she spent six years in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania working in the automobile insurance industry as a licensed insurance salesperson and later as a claims representative for State Farm Insurance Companies. She left Philadelphia and returned to the south to study law and moved to Atlanta, Georgia to become a trial lawyer. After earning her law degree Phyllis began her professional career at the law firm of Swift, Currie, McGhee & Hiers practicing insurance defense handling automobile and property litigation.


In 1997 Ms. Williams opened her law firm and has represented people who have been injured by someone else’s negligence, and family law disputes. She has litigated cases ranging from auto accidents, to premises liability, to products liability. As a family lawyer she has handled contentious and complex litigation involving division of property, custody, child support, alimony, domestic abuse, paternity, legitimation, and deprivations.

LEARN MORE ABOUT PHYLLIS R. WILLIAMS AND HER WONDERFUL PRACTICE:
404 • 378 • 1665

315 West Ponce de Leon Ave.

Suite 1063
Decatur, Georgia 30030


 We will see you at the conference...


Saturday, February 15, 2014

Congratulations to Infinity Diamond Club for becoming a PLATINUM SPONSOR

Infinity Diamond Club is an inclusive social empowerment organization solely dedicated to fostering Unity, Fellowship and Friendship within the community. IDC allows individuals to come together across racial, cultural, economic, religious and other stereotyping labels to create safe places and empowering atmospheres where we can share and learn from each other. Infinity Diamond Club is sponsoring the 6th Annual We Are 1 "Free 2 Be Me" Conference April 24-27, 2014 in Durham, NC. So, "Women", you take care of everyone and everybody. Now it is time you take care of you. Understand this is not just a conference, but an experience. Awesome Speakers from all over the country will converge in the Research Triangle area for one main objective “You”. To learn more and register today visit www.weare1conference.com

It is not too late vend or sponsor. Click here for more 

Friday, February 14, 2014

Love My Mind

Love….. 
I love being in love! To me being in love is a wonderful feeling that fills my heart with joy and fills my spirit with peace. For some reason, just knowing that I am loved, cherished and even thought of makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I feel ecstatic, I feel important, I feel cared for and I feel cared about.
  
I know there are others who feel the same way because just knowing that someone is concerned about you adds pep in your step and adds zest to your life. Knowing that you matter makes you feel supported, connected and ready to face the world with renewed determination and vigor. And most of all, knowing that someone loves you despite your brokenness, your flaws and your many idiosyncrasies somehow makes you feel more alive, more human, more seen and more worthy. 

But I am learning that all love is not good love. Love that only addresses your emotional needs may feel good and intoxicating at first. But eventually that euphoric, enraptured feeling will leave or change.  And if there is nothing else to the relationship after the romantic stage wanes, you will be left wanting more, needing more and looking for more. MORE!
  
I am not knocking that head-over-heels love or that amazing sensation of bliss that makes you lose your breath. Everybody wants to experience that adrenaline and endorphin filled “I can’t live without you” type of love, at least once in their lifetime. But even though emotional love feels good; it is just not enough.

It is not enough because we also need love that feeds our minds, connects with our souls and heals our bodies. We all need love that speaks to the very essence of who we are and believes in all that we hope to be.  Even if we don’t express it, we all desire a love that empowers us, enriches us, encourages us and enlightens us. On some level, we all desire a love that makes us better, stronger, smarter and happier You may think that I am too pragmatic but I believe that we all craze and yearn for a love that does more than touch our hearts; we all deserve and desire MORE. 

In my humble opinion, I think that there are 3 important ways that love and healthy relationships should attempt to do/provide MORE Of course, there are more than 3 ways but I wanted to get the conversation started by first discussing three that seem to challenge couples in unexpected ways. So here we go…..I believe that love should mentally stretch you, stimulate you and strengthen you.

Love should offer MORE. Why? Because I believe that love and our closest relationships have the potential and the ability to expand how we see and experience the world. If we are open and willing, our loved ones can help us spread our wings, broaden our perspectives and challenge our assumptions. If they are really in tuned to who we are, they can also introduce us to new parts of ourselves that we have never explored. They can identify our innate talents and abilities that lay dormant. They can teach us new skills, validate our growth and inspire us to be better.
  
Being in a loving and secure relationship can also encourage you to take personal and professional risks that you may never attempt alone.  In a healthy and secure relationship, you can heal your childhood wounds and address your areas of brokenness that continue to haunt, hurt and hamper you. Yes, you can grow alone, learn alone, start a business alone, go back to school alone and get involved in the community alone. But there is something magical about having people who love you push you, challenge you, encourage you and strategize with you WHILE at the same time loving you. 

So be careful. If you are in relationship and you are doing the same things, having the same thoughts, going to the same places, having the same conversations and feeling the same way as you did 5-10 years ago, are you experiencing the fullness of love? Are you desirous of MORE? Hmmm….Only you can decide but I want to caution you with this adage: stagnation equals death.
  
 I look forward to discussing this issue in greater detail during the “7 Touchy Topics that Derail Relationships”. So if you are not registered for the 2014 CREATE LOVE Conference, please register today.  Your relationships and friendships will be blessed. 

Looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks! 

Friday, February 7, 2014

Happy Single Highlight: FIONA ZEDDE

How long have you been single and why?
I’ve been single for almost two years now, and have chosen to remain so because it feels good. Being single gives me the time and space to indulge my selfish tendencies.

Has being single offered you any personal growth opportunities? No more or less than when I was part of a couple. I’m always growing, changing, and moving forward in my evolution toward becoming a better person.

You have published 12 books. What a great accomplishment! How long have you been writing and what inspires you? I’ve been writing since I was a child, but published my first story in high school, my first internationally distributed short story in 2004, and my first novel in 2005. As for inspiration, it comes to me in all forms; from conversations, dreams, travel, even silence. Nearly anything, if looked at the right way, has some spark of a story in it. My lastest novel, Broken in Soft Places, was actually my graduate thesis. I wanted to bring my past experiences in undergraduate school together with my experiences in Atlanta, because they were so different but also very complimentary to each other. Broken in Soft Places started off being that, but like with any creative process it went an unexpected direction.

How important is writing to being Fiona Zedde? It is everything. The reason I say that is because “Fiona Zedde” is a pseudonym I created. Writing is almost as important to the real me, Fiona Lewis. It’s my therapy, my job, my escape, and my excuse to avoid the world when I’m feeling like a hermit.

Many of your novels are erotic in nature. Talk about the importance of sensuality and eroticism for you as a writer and a feminist. For me, the erotic is an integral part of life. It is healing, life-giving,
sustaining, and good for your skin. We live in our bodies and should celebrate and honor the pleasures that they bring us, as much as we honor and celebrate our souls, spirits, and deepest selves. And the erotic is not always about sex, not always about sharing your body with another; rather it is acknowledging and blessing our physical selves, opening up to bodily pleasures of all sorts whether it’s lying in the sun, tasting the rain, or spending time with your favorite vibrator. Where my work is concerned, I’ve always been in love with the idea of love. This is why I gravitated toward writing romances. And in those romances, there is always sex and sensuality. Being naked to each other under the eyes of the reader is one way for the couples (or threesomes or foursomes) that I write about to open themselves up more fully to each other and share parts of themselves.

Are you similar to any of the characters in your books? If so, which one and how so? If I’m similar to any of them, I’d say it’s Sinclair from my first novel, Bliss. She is open to all of life’s experiences. She wants passion and love, but is also naïve and easily led astray.

As a fellow Aquarius, I can relate to this idea of being naive for love. Would you say that you are still naive? I still feel the same. I idealize love and relationships in general. However, I realize that relationships take a lot of work. You have to get down in the dirt and work it! That has reshaped some of my naivete. 

You are Jamaican born. How does that influence you as an out lesbian living in Atlanta, Georgia? It means not taking being out for granted. I’ve been privileged to see how some LGBT people in Jamaica live – closeted or in fear or without fulfilling intimate relationships – and feel lucky every day that I am able to live my life as I choose.

The term “create love” means so many things to different people. What does “creating love” mean for you? Creating Love means to be the love you want to see in the world. Be the kindness, the fellow-feeling, the passion, the romance, the humanity, the altruism. Once you put what you want out there, you will trigger it in others around you.

As you envision yourself partnered again, what is most important in choosing your next mate? One of the most important things to me in a partner has always been a sense of humor. When you can laugh at life, things usually work out just fine. Where are with your desire to be in a relationship? If it happens it happens but I am not necessarily seeking partnership. I feel like I need that selfish space to create. When I am in a partnership some of that creative energy can shift away from my work. Sometimes I have a hard time with that balance.

What advice would you give to women who are embracing singlehood? Have fun! Do all those things for yourself that sometimes get neglected while in a couple. Pamper yourself. Stay in bed until three in the afternoon with your favorite book if you feel like it. Enjoy these sweet days of luxurious self pleasure.

You can learn more about Fiona Zedde at  www.fionazedde.com
or email: f.zedde@gmail.com
Jamaican-born Fiona Zedde currently lives and writes in Atlanta, Georgia. She is the author of several novellas and novels of lesbian love and desire, including the Lambda Literary Award finalists Bliss and Every Dark Desire. Her novel, Dangerous Pleasures, was winner of the About.com Readers’ Choice Award for Best Lesbian Novel or Memoir of 2012.

Her short fiction has appeared in various anthologies including the Cleis Press Best Lesbian Erotica series, Wicked: Sexy Tales of Legendary Lovers, Iridescence: Sensuous Shades of Lesbian Erotica, and Fist of the Spider Woman.

Writing under the name "Fiona Lewis," she has also published a novel of young adult fiction called Dreaming in Color with Tiny Satchel Press. Her latest novel, Broken in Soft Places, is available now.

**PHOTO CREDITS: TEKA Photography (1 & 4) and She-Driven Photography (2 & 3)

We appreciate you sharing you words and your heart with us a Create Love for Women Who Love Women. We wish you great success in all of your endeavors!
Imani Evans
SharRon Jamison 
  






Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Congratulations to Benny Ingram for becoming a PLATINUM SPONSOR



Daddi’s LLC, a US based, veteran owned adult gift and erotic toy company, includes the brands daddistoystore.comdaddisfavoritetoys.com, and daddistreasures.com. Daddi's Toys started as an advice blog that quickly built a reputation as a trusted and reliable source of information for where to buy the best adult products.

“I have always wanted to be a business owner but I never quite knew what I wanted to sell. One day, my partner and I were talking about products that were recession proof and she jokingly said ‘Honey, sell what you know. You know sex toys so let’s sell them!".  We did a few marketing feasibility studies, looked at several distribution options and opened our first store—DaddisToyStore.com on December 26, 2013.  "We wanted to time our opening after the holidays so that we would have the ability to offer holiday clearance prices on what I call 'staple items' " said CEO Benny Ingram.

In addition to opening Daddi's Toy Store, Ingram also relaunched her popular advice blog from AOL and MySpace as Daddi's Favorite Toys http://daddisfavoritetoys.wordpress.com.  "I never considered myself a blogger until my partner was looking through some of my old files and commented that I had a large following.  It was her foresight that encouraged me to link my advice blog with the online store.  In the past, when I wrote about or commented on sex products, I always gave people links to other sites to purchase the product.  Now, I can not only give them a link to the product but I can also offer discounts and deals on the product" said Ingram with a hearty laugh.

To celebrate the Create Love conference and the launch of Daddisfavoritetoys.com, use the coupon code ADDKINK for 20% off your total order at daddisfavoritetoys.com.

Daddystoystore.com and Jus-So Catering are official sponsors of the 2nd Annual Create Love Conference

It is not too late vend or sponsor. Click here for more

Friday, January 31, 2014

What Does Love Require of You?


I want to be in love. I want to feel cherished, treasured, respected, admired and desired. I want it all! And not only do I want it all, I want to give my all to a person who is worthy of my trust, worthy of my energy and worthy of my time. I want a person who is experienced in collaboration, not afraid of confrontation and open to communication.  I want a person who is comfortable with coordination, negotiation, illumination and rumination. I want a person who welcomes growth, enjoys exploration and is allergic to stagnation. I want a queen!

I know that my list is long, and I can imagine that your list is too because we all are hopefully identifying what characteristics and traits make us soar. We all are hopefully learning what supports us, satisfies us and serves us. We all are hopefully realizing what makes us laugh, live and love fully and effortlessly. We all are preparing ourselves, right?

But as you consider love and being in love, the question is…..…..what is required of you?  What are the basic prerequisites and conditions needed for love to be adequately nurtured, cultivated and strengthen?  What are the elements of a love that can weather storms, withstand tragedy, accommodate change and encourage growth?

I don’t know what all of the elements are, but I believe that there are 3 actions that speak to the principle of love. If you are familiar with the Christian faith, these beliefs have been preached for years. Unfortunately, the ideals have not been practiced, promoted or progressed successfully in our lives, in our places of worship, in our communities, in our country or in the world. (Micah 6:8)

So what are the elements? Let’s Review.

1) To do justice. Relationships require justice. Justice may seem like an unusual word to be included in relationship discussions, but I believe that love CAN NOT survive without justice. I believe that love can only grow in environments of fairness, honesty and integrity. Love can only grow/survive when you accept that you partner is divinely and uniquely made, and has her own needs, concerns and perspectives. Justice is important because justice bestows honor.

We don’t have to look too far to see what happens when justice is not practiced. All we have to do is look at our communities and see the pain and degradation caused when some people are denied rights, opportunities, access and a voice. All we have to do is consider our own plight as women who love women to appreciate the poison and pain of injustice. Just think about it. Some of us are not able to marry, adopt children or visit our partners in hospitals. Some of us live together but can’t file taxes together. We all can personally testify that injustice hurts, kills, maims and marginalizes. Injustice injures!

Even though most of us feel and experience the sting of social injustice, we sometimes perpetuate injustice in our relationships. Some of us refuse to listen to our partner’s views, some of us refuse to share our spirits and some of us refuse to allow our partners to be themselves. Some of us are even so
insecure that we attempt to control how our partners function and navigate in the world. We all are not always fair; we all are not always just.

I love a phrase that I learned from Valerie Hall because her phrase epitomizes justice. It goes…. “Just like me, my partner…..” and then she completes the sentence. Valerie says that the phrase helps her remember that her partner has views and needs that are equally as important as hers. Good phrase Val! (There is so much wisdom in the CL group.)

I have started using this phrase more because it challenges me to be open, considerate and more reasonable.  Honestly, it is hard to remain pig-headed when you are reminded that your partner’s views/needs/concerns are equally important, just different.  So the next time when you are locked in your myopia and trapped in your arrogance, say to yourself…”just like me, my partner” and complete the sentence.  Those 5 words can change the tenor of your conversations and help you welcome and celebrate your partner’s feelings and perspectives.  Remember, justice does not require that you agree with everything. Justice requires equality in speech, thought, exploration, access and consideration.
 
2) To Love Mercy – Loving mercy means to be willingly to extend forgiveness, compassion, understanding and generosity to yourself and others. It is honorable thing to do. But even though mercy is a noble concept, it is a principle that challenges us emotionally and spiritually.  Why? Because even though we need lots of mercy, we have trouble consistently extending it, especially when we feel that a person does not deserve it. For example, when we make mistakes we have trouble extending mercy to ourselves. We berate and criticize ourselves so harshly that we chip away at our own self-esteem. We equally have difficulty forgiving others so we sometimes walk around full of resentment, bitterness or thoughts of revenge that damage our connections.

We all are sometimes challenged to show compassion and consideration too. In fact, many times we don't even attempt to understand someone’s plight or position before we judge, assume or prognosticate.  We just close our minds, close our hearts and consequently close our capacity to love. We become cruel, callous, arrogant and condescending. You don’t have to admit it, but it is true☺.
    

Let’s face it. Mercy is more than an emotion; it is an effort and an intention. It is an intention and willingness to accept that the world does not revolve around you. It is a commitment to listening, hearing and considering the perspectives of others. It is a desire to forgive and to be forgiven.

Just so we all are clear. Loving mercy does not mean that you don’t hold yourself or your partner accountable for bad behavior. It does not mean that you allow abuse, exploit kindness, minimize concern, accept misconduct or entertain stupidity. Absolutely not. Everyone  must always be responsible for their choices and the consequences of their choices. But, loving mercy means that even in the midst of bad choices, crazy decisions or negative outcomes, you consider, but not necessarily condone, your partner’s actions. And in some extreme cases, loving mercy may require you to walk away.

If you desire a relationship that can stand the test of time, you will need to offer and accept mercy and lots of it.  Why? Because you will make mistakes and so will your partner because NONE of us are fully equipped to deal with every experience or situation that we may face in life.  We will sometimes get it wrong and we may not get it right, right away. So strive to be merciful because as we say in the Christian faith, “mercy suits your case”.
 
3) Walk humbly.  I must stay that walking humbly in our world requires a certain degree of restraint and modesty, especially in a culture that celebrates arrogance, competition, individuality and superiority. In a culture that applauds pride and praises self-aggrandizement, humility gets pushed aside and often times ignored.  America’s inability to embrace and enforce justice, equality and equal opportunity are indications of its reluctance and our downright failure to embrace humility. But, I digress. 

Walking humbly is an important virtue that will enrich your life and enhance your relationships.  Walking humbly requires 3 things:
  1. Accept your limitations. You may not want to believe it but you are not the best at everything. And even if you are good at one thing, there are other things that you can not do. Recognizing and accepting your own limitations will keep you grounded in your humanness. It will also remind you to reach out to your partner and to others for assistance, guidance and support. So, remain teachable, ask for help and sometimes defer to others. I know reaching out is hard because I struggle to reach out myself. 
  2. Recognize your own faults and flaws. You are not perfect! Your way is not the only way. You are not the judge or jury; other opinions exist. So, stop judging others and concentrate on improving, knowing and loving yourself. Believe me, that’s a full time job.  Always remember that the biggest room in your life is the room for self-improvement.  By recognizing your own need for improvement, you will have less time to tear down and torment your partner. Yes, torment…..picking a person apart and constantly highlighting their flaws is torment. Try affirming, accepting and apologizing instead.
  3. Be grateful.  Show and express appreciation for what you have. Even though you have achieved much in life, there is someone who is just as intelligent and hardworking as you are but has less. There are people who pray and love more but may have not had the same support, guidance and opportunities. Maybe they made a bad choice that changed the trajectory of their lives. Who knows? So don’t brag, compete or compare yourself with your partner. Just be grateful that God saw fit to bless you.
    Humility is a good thing but it does not mean that you should be a doormat or a pushover. It does not mean that you should be totally selfless or self-sacrificing either. No way!  It means that you know who you are and you know who you are not.  It also means that you understand that there is a Higher Power, a Source and/or God that guides, directs and intervenes for you. Yes, you are blessed. And yes, there is a Blessing- giver. Humility acknowledges both.

    Relationships, good relationships, require that you do justice, love mercy and walk humbly. If you are able to do all 3 for you and your partner, you can CREATE LOVE that is full of intimacy, empathy and  joy. 

     I look forward to addressing all 3 concepts in greater detail at the 2014 CREATE LOVE Conference!  Are you registered? If not, please do. Imani and I are looking forward to seeing you.

    Blessings!

    SharRon Jamison   
    www.createloveforwomen.com
    www.icandependonme-sharronjamison.com