Showing posts with label Fiona Zedde. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fiona Zedde. Show all posts

Friday, February 7, 2014

Happy Single Highlight: FIONA ZEDDE

How long have you been single and why?
I’ve been single for almost two years now, and have chosen to remain so because it feels good. Being single gives me the time and space to indulge my selfish tendencies.

Has being single offered you any personal growth opportunities? No more or less than when I was part of a couple. I’m always growing, changing, and moving forward in my evolution toward becoming a better person.

You have published 12 books. What a great accomplishment! How long have you been writing and what inspires you? I’ve been writing since I was a child, but published my first story in high school, my first internationally distributed short story in 2004, and my first novel in 2005. As for inspiration, it comes to me in all forms; from conversations, dreams, travel, even silence. Nearly anything, if looked at the right way, has some spark of a story in it. My lastest novel, Broken in Soft Places, was actually my graduate thesis. I wanted to bring my past experiences in undergraduate school together with my experiences in Atlanta, because they were so different but also very complimentary to each other. Broken in Soft Places started off being that, but like with any creative process it went an unexpected direction.

How important is writing to being Fiona Zedde? It is everything. The reason I say that is because “Fiona Zedde” is a pseudonym I created. Writing is almost as important to the real me, Fiona Lewis. It’s my therapy, my job, my escape, and my excuse to avoid the world when I’m feeling like a hermit.

Many of your novels are erotic in nature. Talk about the importance of sensuality and eroticism for you as a writer and a feminist. For me, the erotic is an integral part of life. It is healing, life-giving,
sustaining, and good for your skin. We live in our bodies and should celebrate and honor the pleasures that they bring us, as much as we honor and celebrate our souls, spirits, and deepest selves. And the erotic is not always about sex, not always about sharing your body with another; rather it is acknowledging and blessing our physical selves, opening up to bodily pleasures of all sorts whether it’s lying in the sun, tasting the rain, or spending time with your favorite vibrator. Where my work is concerned, I’ve always been in love with the idea of love. This is why I gravitated toward writing romances. And in those romances, there is always sex and sensuality. Being naked to each other under the eyes of the reader is one way for the couples (or threesomes or foursomes) that I write about to open themselves up more fully to each other and share parts of themselves.

Are you similar to any of the characters in your books? If so, which one and how so? If I’m similar to any of them, I’d say it’s Sinclair from my first novel, Bliss. She is open to all of life’s experiences. She wants passion and love, but is also naïve and easily led astray.

As a fellow Aquarius, I can relate to this idea of being naive for love. Would you say that you are still naive? I still feel the same. I idealize love and relationships in general. However, I realize that relationships take a lot of work. You have to get down in the dirt and work it! That has reshaped some of my naivete. 

You are Jamaican born. How does that influence you as an out lesbian living in Atlanta, Georgia? It means not taking being out for granted. I’ve been privileged to see how some LGBT people in Jamaica live – closeted or in fear or without fulfilling intimate relationships – and feel lucky every day that I am able to live my life as I choose.

The term “create love” means so many things to different people. What does “creating love” mean for you? Creating Love means to be the love you want to see in the world. Be the kindness, the fellow-feeling, the passion, the romance, the humanity, the altruism. Once you put what you want out there, you will trigger it in others around you.

As you envision yourself partnered again, what is most important in choosing your next mate? One of the most important things to me in a partner has always been a sense of humor. When you can laugh at life, things usually work out just fine. Where are with your desire to be in a relationship? If it happens it happens but I am not necessarily seeking partnership. I feel like I need that selfish space to create. When I am in a partnership some of that creative energy can shift away from my work. Sometimes I have a hard time with that balance.

What advice would you give to women who are embracing singlehood? Have fun! Do all those things for yourself that sometimes get neglected while in a couple. Pamper yourself. Stay in bed until three in the afternoon with your favorite book if you feel like it. Enjoy these sweet days of luxurious self pleasure.

You can learn more about Fiona Zedde at  www.fionazedde.com
or email: f.zedde@gmail.com
Jamaican-born Fiona Zedde currently lives and writes in Atlanta, Georgia. She is the author of several novellas and novels of lesbian love and desire, including the Lambda Literary Award finalists Bliss and Every Dark Desire. Her novel, Dangerous Pleasures, was winner of the About.com Readers’ Choice Award for Best Lesbian Novel or Memoir of 2012.

Her short fiction has appeared in various anthologies including the Cleis Press Best Lesbian Erotica series, Wicked: Sexy Tales of Legendary Lovers, Iridescence: Sensuous Shades of Lesbian Erotica, and Fist of the Spider Woman.

Writing under the name "Fiona Lewis," she has also published a novel of young adult fiction called Dreaming in Color with Tiny Satchel Press. Her latest novel, Broken in Soft Places, is available now.

**PHOTO CREDITS: TEKA Photography (1 & 4) and She-Driven Photography (2 & 3)

We appreciate you sharing you words and your heart with us a Create Love for Women Who Love Women. We wish you great success in all of your endeavors!
Imani Evans
SharRon Jamison 
  






Friday, January 11, 2013

The Art of Lesbian Sex


Do you know what the largest sex organ is in the human body? Drum roll…you guessed it! It is the brain. The brain is the gateway to meaningful intimacy and the greatly desired phenomenal orgasm. The Art of Lesbian Sex is an article that pays homage to that beautiful sex organ and the pursuit of a fulfilling sex life.

I’ve never seen anything conjure up an equal dose of excitement and embarrassment like the subject of sex among lesbians. Interestingly enough, if you get a group of lesbians in a room talking about sex you are sure to hear someone say, “Sex is not the most important thing for me.” And I would agree except for one caveat – when sex is the thing that is not working, then indeed it is important! I think that sex is as spiritual, emotional and essential as any other element of a relationship. There are many reasons to make sex a high priority in your fulfilling love life. This is not to say that there aren't some significant, loving and quality relationships wherein sex is not essential. However, this article is written for those who wish and desire to have and maintain a fully satisfying sex life as part of relationship sustainability.

Let’s explore the reasons to embrace sex as a significant part of your relationship:
1. Sex has extraordinary physical benefits that range from pain reduction, to stress management and weight control. Oh the joy! It is true. Sex is one of the best ways to release a hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin is often referred to as the “love hormone”. The reason for its nickname has to do with its relationship to bonding, empathy and building trust. It sounds like a big bill to fill but oxytocin does it with no problem, which is why it is so essential for new mommies bonding with their babies.

In addition to this wonderful God-given hormone, sex also is a great way to burn calories and workout. And I don’t know about you but I’d rather have sex than go to LA fitness any day. While LA fitness is $36/month, sex is free--Well... :-)

Sex is a physical connection that softens you to your partner. It allows you to feel more compassion and closeness. The time before, and after, sex is equally as important as during. Cuddling and snuggling reduces stress and some studies show that it even reduces fear. So be sure to put as much time and thought into the prep work and the closing.

2. Sex is a spiritual connection. As a Buddhist I will leave the Bible quotes to my well-qualified business partner, Minister SharRon Jamison. However I think it is a common thread among most major religions that sex is sacred, and most enjoyable when shared with someone with whom you give your heart as well as your body. It allows you to be vulnerable and free. I am sure that most of you have heard of Tantric sex. It is the art of combining spiritual awareness with one’s sexuality. It is believed to deepen our consciousness while experiencing the highest form of pleasure. Whether you explore Tantric sex or simply embrace the concept of sex as a sacred act, you can allow yourself to be spiritually present when you make love. I promise it will be the greatest gift you allow God to give you and your partner.

3. Sex is a gateway to deepen your emotional connection. There are times when words simply do not express how much you love your partner. Making love is a way to exchange and express your feelings, hence the term. You can allow your fingers, lips and body to speak for you. The way you hold your partner and the sweet sounds and moans you offer her will tell her volumes. Not just about how you feel in the moment, but how you feel about her overall. Have you ever had someone merely touch your thigh and send you to faraway places of ecstasy? Conversely, have you ever had someone do every trick in the book, but it does absolutely nothing for you? Well if you answered yes to the latter, then you know that sex is the gateway to a deep emotional connection. However it can be as deep or as superficial as you allow.

This is the reason that lesbian death-bed is so dangerous to a relationship. Yes, we all get busy, get our feelings hurt and get focused on doing life. But you have to honor the sexual needs of your relationship too. Not just for your partner but for yourself as well. And sometimes it just takes a little intention to wake up that sleepy clitoris. And with 8000 nerve endings to stimulate, she will be delighted that you did! So don’t allow yourself to push it to the back burner. If you do, you’ll be sure to find yourself in more arguments and increased relationship stress.

4. I would be remiss as a counselor if I didn’t take a few moments to talk about some of the dysfunctions and sexual issues that can show up and cause a problem with a healthy sex life. For example, your partner may be a survivor of sexual abuse or violence. In which case, she may have body memories, or just a difficult time being touched or vulnerable. If any of this is true, for whatever reason it exists the onus is on both people to seek out the support and help needed to find out what works for the two of you. This should be done with understanding, empathy and compassion.

In addition I have heard way too often from studs/bois/butch women that they are often neglected sexually or not respected after being sexually open and vulnerable. It is my hope that we can move beyond this as a community to something more freeing and loving. Not every woman will want the same thing but we should be open to allowing a woman to express the full gamut of her sexuality, whether she is a stud, femme, or any of the myriad of ways lesbians embrace their identity.

5. Remember that sex is not just for couples. If you are single and not dating in any way, you can still have a healthy sex life through your imagination and masturbation. That’s right, I said it – masturbation! It is a healthy, sensual and loving way to satisfy your needs. I would encourage you to even be intentional about it and not just seek the orgasm. Instead spend time loving your body, touching your body and making love to yourself. It is a great way to explore how you like to be touched and what makes you feel good. So if you are single and dating yourself, make sure you get lucky at the end of the evening! :-)

Now, I entitled this article The Art of Lesbian Sex because, just like art, sex is unique to the individual experiencing it. And, just like art, a fulfilling sex life requires creativity. So here are some tips to expand on your artistic side:

-- Try something new! You might consider trying something you've never done before. There’s such a wide range of things available to explore with the right one. Discuss ways to feel safe. For example, find a safe word that signifies to your partner that you want to stop, or that you no longer feel comfortable. Maybe you can have a sensual date with your partner by taking her to the adult toy store and just touching and playing with the things you see. Even if you don’t buy anything you’ll get a kick out of seeing what she likes.

--Explore your fantasies. Fantasies aren’t always meant to become a reality. Sometimes it’s the joy of fantasizing that can be arousing. Can’t come up with the most creative fantasies… You are in luck! There are experts who have done it for you. Grab an erotic book... Like maybe one by Claudia Moss, Robin G. White or Fiona Zedde.  I promise you, you will be wet by the end of chapter one.
--Be sure to talk about sex before you’re in the middle of sex. Nothing dries up a vagina faster than saying the wrong thing in the middle of sex. You will go from swimming the ocean wide to crawling in the desert before you know it. So don’t do it to yourself. Have some conversation outside of that precious moment. Discuss your likes and dislikes and your willingness/unwillingness to step out of your comfort zone. Be sure to help your beloved win at finding your sweet spot. This way everyone wins.

Great Links:

I honor you for taking the steps toward this LOVE REVOLUTION…Nya Akoma!

Namaste,
Imani Evans, MA
You can also find Imani at the Self-Care for Dynamic Women