from Margate, FloridaSince you have been single, what have you learned about yourself? I have learned that I have been more guarded than I’d like to believe about myself. I have faced the fact that I would rather continue learning about who I am and what I prefer in a partner within the parameters of a relationship. I’ve had numerous opportunities to practice the art of compromise, and I, as Mariah sings, “want to know what love is,” what romantic love nestled in friendship is. I feel more than understand that my essence longs to intimately know another, yearns to connect on all the levels that two people can become one.
I know that I love life. That I want to discover the joys of each new day with a woman who makes my soul salute the power that called us into being. I want to know what it feels like to realize I desire to be with someone through the quick and thick of life, married by vows, bound by love. I realize this life is not half as redolent as it is when unconditional love underlies a relationship.
What are you doing now to prepare yourself for a healthy relationship? Each day I fall deeper in love with me so that I can more adequately love and adore another. I know that if I do not love and accept all aspects of myself, during times I judge myself good or bad, I can never really love and accept another like I’d want to be loved. I prepare myself for a relationship by observing others in my everyday experience, by reading about wholesome healthy unions on “The Create Love for Women” blog and by viewing the interactions of the couples I adore on YouTube.
What areas do you tend to struggle with most in relationships? Communication. Ironically, if I deem my opinions or thoughts might hurt someone, I won’t say anything at all, and when that happens, the relationship is over. Perhaps this is a coping mechanism that feeds into my former need to be liked, no matter what. In the past, if I was attracted to a person, I’d shut down, clam up and go stone unresponsive. I’m uncertain, but that may have been a coping mechanism as well---one that protected me emotionally from feeling rejected. And as a child, I came of age under the practice of children being seen and not heard. As a girl, I had even less of a voice, so I grew older learning to swallow my voice to keep what I thought was the peace or pieces of me. Today, I relish the blessing of my verbosity...though I’ve yet to taste that verbal delight in a loving relationship.
What characteristics and traits do you find most compatible? Which ones are most problematic and why? I find a humorous, gentle, soft-spoken, erotic, sensually raw, knowledgeable, generous, courageous, fun loving, respectful, trustworthy, family oriented, adventurous, direct, tactful and vulnerable spirit to be compatible with me. I adore acts of service and loving affirmations.
Characteristics and traits that are most problematic for me include: abrasiveness, a willingness to believe the worst, antagonistic, combative, rude, argumentative, verbally abusive, and being loudly abusive to others. Some people exhibiting these characteristics usually feel as if everybody is out to get them and they must fight to not feel as if they are being taken advantage of in some way. I will not spend my time at war with a beloved. I want to relish all the ways I can love her and she me.
What do you love about love? I love the effect love has on me, the way I want to express my love, the restorative power of love and the possibilities of love to help us save ourselves. I love the reality that once you open yourself to love and loving you want to love more and love more deeply, more richly.
I love that love possesses the power to bridge divides between people. I love that it is the most powerful force in the universe, that it truly covers a multitude of sins. I love that love allows people to be exactly as they are so that their growth process comes out of what they need from that inner wellspring of Divine energy.
What has being in a relationship taught you about you? Being in a relationship has taught me that I need more practice with learning to share myself more with my mate, to learn balance and patience. I have learned that being open and vulnerable is a good thing, that being free and cultivating a loving space in which to be nonjudgmental with oneself and others is the foundation for an unconditionally loving union.
What do you admire about yourself? I admire my joviality, my readiness to share my smile with the world, my ability to empathize with others and my proclivity to accept where I am and move forward with positivity. I love my legs, my breasts, my locs and my overall sensuality. I admire my propensity to explore, to walk where others might fear to go or to embrace people at whom others may frown.
How would your friends describe you? I think my friends would describe me as fun loving, adventurous, childlike, generous, eccentric, sensual and passionate. Most would say I’m creative and carefree, hardworking and caring and resourceful and spiritual.
What do you like to do for fun and why? I love the drive-in, preparing colorful meals, dancing, traveling, attending cultural events, playing on the beach and enjoying long leisurely walks. Since I am a movie person with a predilection for romances, the drive-in satisfies my itch for movies and romance in one divine location. Eating healthy, raw meals now allows me to honor my mind, body and soul as I savor a much more wholesome life. Today I know with a visceral knowing that eating raw is more than a diet; it’s indeed a lifestyle. A strong, healthy body in motion is beautiful, so dancing, playing on the beach and taking long walks titillate me. Traveling and attending cultural events feed my love for the beauty of art in people and places.
What is our love language and how did you learn that about yourself? My love language is acts of service and verbal affirmations. I love it when people to whom I am attracted are Present enough to do things for me that I adore. I love it when someone pays attention to the things I do and say, and I love sweet nothings in a telephone call, text, card and, definitely, in person. When I pay attention to how I feel when someone is exhibiting the above behavior towards me in a sincere attraction, it makes me feel warm and electric inside.
Finish this sentence…..Before I die I want to ____. Before I die, I want to marry again and love my wife well, with a deep and passionate love. I want to experience life anew each day and night with her. Before I die, I want a long, lucrative career as an author, speaker, philanthropist and talk show personality. Before I die, I want to travel the world, to skinny dip on exotic shores, to drench my taste buds with foods from around the world, to read my work to appreciative audiences, to see my work on stages and screens and to make love on a Fiji beach. Before I close my eyes for the last time, most importantly, romantically, I want to love and be loved in return.
How important is spirituality to you? Spirituality is extremely important to me. I begin and end my days in a peaceful Stillness, in which I am seeking nothing from the Divine. My purpose is to simply abide in pure gratitude with the Universe in the oneness of love and light. When I open a space, conscientiously, for Spirit to manifest in my life, what I desire appears effortlessly. And I talk to the Divine and seek to listen more than I talk, preferring Silence. In this Stillness, answers appear, lessons clarify and perplexity bows. Now this does not mean I wake up with a winning lottery ticket under my pillow each morning. It simply means that I am precisely where I am supposed to be, learning the lessons I came to learn, experiencing things I am supposed to experience, and understanding that the most important aspect of it all is knowing that the Divine is my co-pilot on this exhilarating journey of mi vida.
What important lesson did you learn from your mother that has helped you in life and in relationships? Although my mother transitioned when I was in the tenth grade, before she left, she taught me to be the best that I can be in every situation and to not waste time complaining. My mother was a reading mother, so at her feet, I learned to cherish the voice and the power of words in a sacred place. Thus, I enjoy reading at midnight to a beloved, to set a romantic mood, to regale her with a good story and to share my own work with my beloved.
You inherited your love for the written and spoken word from your loving mother. What a blessing! Thank you, SharRon. My mother bought me a spiral-bound notebook when I was a preteen. In it, I wrote my first novel about a teenage girl, who traveled to Europe as an exchange student. I took the time, even then, to research the details of my setting, and when my mother read the piece, she praised me and the story and had me to share it with the family. From the start, she recognized my gift; she knew who I was, and she encouraged it. I was always verbal, and I excelled at anything word-based or language-based.
I admire your work. You are a talented writer, creative artist, powerful performer, insightful radio host and a discerning “spirit”. What inspires you to create? Again, many, many sweet thanks, SharRon! And to answer your question, I will capsule it in one word: Love! Love inspires me to create. Everything I do I want it to manifest Love in the world. Even when I go astray in my loving of myself or others, in my behavior or in my thoughts, the Power of Love brings me back to my loving self eventually. No matter if we, as people, have gone terribly astray in our “perceived” loving and actually leaped into hurting others, I believe, the Divine, on Divine Time, stands up, takes charge and has us to realize Love’s Presence and Grace.
You can also find Claudia at the following links:
Claudia Moss LIVE – www.Talkshoe.com
Books by Claudia Moss:
Wanda B. Takes the Cake: Another Wanda B. Wonders Affair (The Wanda B. Wondes Series)
If You Love Me, Come
Claudia has contributed to several anthologies, including Purple Panties.
(Interview conducted by SharRon Jamison)
We thank you for sharing your journey of happiness in singlehood! Your story will encourage, inspire and uplift other singles. We wish you continued success and happiness. www.createloveforwomen.com
Create Love -- Founders
Imani Evans and SharRon Jamison