Beautiful Couple: Alexis
Aveau and Tiffany Aveau. They live and work in Afghanistan.
How long have you been together?
We have been together for 6 years. We got
married in Canada on December 30, 2007.
How did you get together/meet?
Alexis: I saw Tiffany
in the Chow hall in Iraq and fell in lust with her. Two hours later she walked
in to my office and the rest was history.
Tiffany: When I first saw my wife I thought, "Well all
the rumors are true! She is beautiful". But her accent is what hooked me.
Beauty with an accent was a double threat. I was able to talk to her for hours
and not even notice the time go by.
What would you say is the key to the success of your
relationship? We talk a lot about everything and usually if something bothers
one of us we discuss it right away. It may be small and silly, but we discuss
it. For example I had sweat pants on, one leg up one down. Tiffany made fun of
me and I guess I was feeling sensitive so I told her how I felt. She acknowledged my feelings and we moved on.
The thing is every feeling is valid to the individual. So, even if it's silly
to you, you have to acknowledge that a person has a right to feel what they
feel and they should not be censored. Also, we are silly and we laugh a lot. When
we are home, we shower together every night. It's just so many little things
that I can't pin point them all.
How you deal with and face challenges that might come up in
your relationship?
Together! That may seem simple but we tackle everything
together. Anytime there is a conflict, it pushes Tiffany and me together and we
just dig in and solve it.
What role does spirituality play in your relationship?
Alexis: Tiffany isn't spiritual. I am. I believe in a higher being. I like to
pray or have conversations with this entity. It keeps me grounded.
What strengthens your relationship?
The strength in our relationship comes from knowing, knowing
that you are loved and accepted for who you are. This can only be achieved if
there is total honesty. Tiffany knows everything about me, the good and the
bad. There are things that I have done in my life that I have not shared with
anyone but her. It was scary being that honest but then it’s was also liberating.
How do you stay connected?
As far as keeping connected - is based on an understanding
and an expectation that it would be hard. But no matter how difficult, we are
not giving up on each other. We do the regular phone calls and twice a day Skype.
When Tiffany is gone and I am here, she sends me flowers, make appointments for
me to have a spa day. She is truly the best wife.
What role does sensuality and mutual attraction play in your
relationship?
Alexis: I would be lying if I don't say being sensual is
like everything else in your relationship. It takes work. The first three years
it was automatic. Now we have months were it is automatic and months when we really
we are not interested in being intimate. For those months, we make an effort.
If I am tired with life and I would rather have a glass of wine and watch TV, I
make myself think of something special I can do for her. So instead, I will
still have my glass of wine and watch TV but I would rub her feet while I am
doing it, or her head. She loves that.
What do you love about your wife?
Tiffany: The thing I love the most about my wife is the very
essence of her. All of her attributes that make her unique. I love her
intelligence, we can hold conversations about any topic and there are no
generic responses, we are free to say exactly how we feel about something
without feeling like we’ve stepped over an imaginary line of correctness. She
has helped mold me into the person that I am today and I will be forever
grateful to her for that.
Any more on the key to success?
When we went into our marriage we had a conversation about
why marriages fail at such an alarming rate. And we decided that it was based
on people thinking the grass is always greener on the other side. If your
relationship is important to you, you will work on it regardless if you have
option A, B, or C. The bottom line for us is- if there is no cheating or abuses
then we are working on it. Remember what you see on TV is for entertainment.
Relationships don't follow a script. You have to take time and remember why you
fell in love in the first place.
What is one of the biggest misconceptions that people have
about you and your relationship?Tiffany: I think the biggest misconception about me personally as a masculine lesbian is that people think that the way I carry myself and dress imply that I want to be a man. I am very comfortable in my skin, so it bothers me when individuals who don’t know me think I am trying to compensate for something. In my relationship there are certain concepts that outsiders think happen within a two women relationship that stand to be true. (For example) I do most of the heavy lifting, deal with all the electronics and do the majority of the driving. Other than that, we share yard work, house cleaning and sexual roles:).
What countries have
you visited together?: Iraq, Afghanistan,
Kuwait, Dubai, Turkey, Germany, Trinidad and Tobago, Amsterdam, Jamaica,
Antigua, Mexico, Domincan Republic, Belize, Honduras, England and Canada.
What tips would you give to other lesbian couples?
I think the best tips we could give to other married lesbian
couples is to keep your mind on the main goal, which is to maintain a happy
marriage. Sporadically do little things that are not expected, come home with
flowers or a small gift. This will let your wife know that you were thinking
about her and that she is on your mind even when you are not together.
Be open and honest with your wife, good communication will
reduce misunderstandings and possible arguments that will ensue. Don’t just
blame and complain, work together to find solutions to problems that arise
throughout your relationship. Lastly live in the present, let what happened in
the past stay there. Continue to move forward with love and kindness in your
heart and build the relationship that you both deserve.
(Interview conducted by SharRon Jamison)
(Interview conducted by SharRon Jamison)
Thank you, Tiffany and Alexis, for sharing your love with us.
We appreciate your time, energy and generosity in helping
us CREATE LOVE!
Much love to you,
Favorite quote from this loving couple "we just dig in and solve it"...it is all about the sacrifice!! Thanks for sharing what it takes to make it work.
ReplyDeleteI like the way as a couple you keep it "fresh".
ReplyDelete