Kacey Frierson&
Chwanda Nixon
Jonesboro, Ga.
Hi ladies. How long have you been
together? Chwanda: About
1,743 days (give or take a few days) which is about 4 years, 9 months, and 11
days up to today. Kacey: It’ll be 5 years in April...lol
Chwanda,
wow…That’s says a lot that you know the exact number of days that you have been
together. JSo, how did you two meet? Chwanda: We met at a comedy club
that I (Chwanda) was an open mic host for. We actually had our first
conversation talking at a mutual friends get together. Kacey:
When we first met at the comedy club, it was just a “hi” and “bye”
situation. Nothing spectacular. She knew
my sister and I went to the club with my sister. Then a few months later we reconnected at a
house party at a mutual friend’s house.
When
you reconnected, what was the initial attraction? Kacey:
For me it was her conversation. The way she spoke. She was/is smart. And it came across in our
conversations. Plus she is a poet, so
she has a gift with words. Chwanda: It would be Kacey's attentiveness to my needs, wants and to my every
spoken word. It would be like there was no one else in the room or area around
us.
After
being together for 4 years, what would you say is the key to the success of
your relationship? Chwanda: For me,
it’s the knowing that we are two different people who do things in two
different ways and recognizing that we have to try and bring the two ways
together to form an alliance and make it work. Agreeing to disagree and knowing
that it is okay if we do disagree as long as our disagreements do not turn into
arguments, fuss and fights….. Our willingness to compromise in situations
without causing changes to why we fell in love with each other. Kacey: Communication!! We talk about everything,
from minor, major, sad, funny, serious, silly; it doesn’t matter.
Agreeing
to disagree is so important in relationships. Many times the ability to
disagree respectfully challenges so many couples. How do you do it? How you
deal with and face challenges that might come up in your relationship? Kacey:
By not letting things linger. If you
feel a certain way, you can be mad, sad, upset, whatever, but you have your
moment to be in those feelings, but then you have to be able to let it go. Harboring those ill feelings won’t change the
situation. Pout, figure out a solution,
if there is one, and then move on. Life
is too short to dwell over things beyond your control. Chwanda: Well,
first we pray and then we do our best to discuss everything and if we can’t
come up with a solution mutually, we “Let go and Let God!”
As a
minister, I believe that spirituality is important and vital to every aspect of
our lives. What about you? What role does spirituality play in your
relationship?Chwanda: We try to read our daily inspiration together
every morning to get us going. We pray separately and together. I find that it
helps to give me peace for the day! Kacey has a lot of faith -that's one of the
very things I found most attractive about her!
Kacey: I am very spiritual. I do things that will lift my spirits and if
I have nothing else, I have faith. Tons
of it!! Enough for my whole family. I
KNOW we are going to be alright no matter what gets thrown at us! If nobody else has us, God has us!
Spirituality
is important. But what are your thoughts about sensuality. What role does
sensuality play in your relationship? Kacey: Sensuality doesn’t
always mean physical. I love my wife’s gift of gab…those words!! We have a
bunch of children so we have to sneak it in where we can… words here, a touch
there, a phone call, an email…all of those add passion and keeps the spark from
going out. Chwanda:
I am a
very sensual person so I’m ALWAYS trying to touch and rub. I can NEVER get
enough of her!
What
advice would you give to other couples? Chwanda: COMMUNICATE,
COMMUNICATE AND COMMUNICATE! Talk to each other. Tell how you feel no matter
how brutal it may seem or feel at the same time. Don’t get too defensive when
your partner is being brutally honest with you! You need that because the
moment you keep your true feelings inside and don’t express how you feel or
don’t consider how each other feels, you will begin to lose your sense of self
and the relationship will begin to slowly dissipate. Just watch how you talk to
the person, be honest, but watch your tone and how you come to them. Don’t be
sarcastic, do it with love; the love you had when you fell in love with them. Kacey:
Honesty is the best policy. You have to
tell it even if they don’t want to hear it because sometimes pure honesty can
clear up situations and stop things from getting out of hand. When you are honest with yourself about how
you feel about a situation or circumstance, it becomes that more easy to be
honest with your partner. And sometimes
in that honesty, your partner will have the same feeling. Honesty makes it easier to resolve issues
this way…or non-issues…lol
I
love the idea of getting married in all of the states that support marriage
equality. How did you come up with the idea about getting married in different
states? And, how did you initiate the effort and get media attention? Chwanda: I’ll let Kacey take that
one…lol. Kacey: I’m all about living the most
epically awesome life EVER. You only get one.
So if you are going to do something, my advice, DO IT BIG!! We had initially planned to just go to New
York to get married after our civil union in Illinois (at the time marriage
equality had not passed in Illinois).
But the timing did not work out with work and school schedules for us to
go. So I figured we could go for spring
break because the kids are out of school and we could take off work. As I was planning the trip to New York,
another state passed marriage equality, then another. SO me and my grand ideas,
I’m like, well we could get married in those other states too. So I did my research and found requirements
for each state and it took off from there.
To date we are legally married in New York, Connecticut, Maine, New
Hampshire, Vermont, Maryland, Massachusetts, Washington DC, New Jersey, Iowa
and Illinois-11 times.
As far as media attention, I set up
a website and then I did a lot of tweeting and posting on Facebook. And from retweets on Twitter and shares on
Facebook, different people started reaching out to us. That’s how the Out Magazine
story came about. The editor of the
magazine saw it and reached out. I actually tweeted to Mo’Nique after I saw an
interview of her movie where she stated she was ordained, and I asked her to
marry us and she said YES! So we worked it out and she did us in Iowa. I try to
make sure each wedding is unique in one way or another. With so many ideas in
my head, there is NO TELLING what I may try to pull with the next set of
weddings! But I make sure I constantly
update the website. I’m keeping track of the new marriage equality states and
constantly mapping out our next route. Not
sure how long it will take but our plan is to do all 50 states!
Blended
family, a national initiative, media attention…..When you reflect on your
relationship, what has your relationship taught you most about yourself? Kacey: That I can actually put
someone before me...to think of someone other than me first. I still have my moments but all my thoughts
are what my wife would want to do or what would my wife think. I love her enough to put her first. Chwanda:
That is hard to maintain some sense of aggressiveness when you are
so sensitive…lol! {And}…. That I have to have love for myself in order to love
someone else! I have to be honest with myself in order to be honest with someone
in a relationship!
You Can Connect with Kacey and Chwanda:
www.idomarathon.com
www.idomarathon.blogspot.com
www.facebook.com/IDOMARATHON
www.about.me/IDOMARATHON
www.twitter.com/kaceygemini23
www.twitter.com/chwandascorpio
www.youtube.com/kaceygemini23
google+: #idomarathon
We thank you for sharing your love with us at Create Love! Your story will encourage, inspire and uplift other couples. We wish you continued success and happiness.www.createloveforwomen.com
Create Love Founders
Imani Evans and SharRon Jamison
Don’t forget to register for the Journey to Wellness Retreat. September will be soon!
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