November is the time of the year when many of us are feeling
a bit fatigued. Even if it has been a year filled with celebration and success,
somewhere in our spirits we are craving renewal, rejuvenation, restoration and relaxation.
We have worked hard, studied hard, labored hard and loved hard and in many ways
we have reached a crescendo. We need a release because we are full, pregnant
with accumulated experiences, and our minds, spirits and bodies need a break, a
respite. We need to emotionally, spiritually and physically exhale to release
the residue of our transitions, losses, challenges, disappointments, changes
and pain. We also need to exhale to release the residue of our growth,
development and success because even though positive, those experiences
required much of us and also required much from us. We desire, and in some
ways, our spirits beg for rest.
But it is in those
quiet nights when I am tossing and turning when my mind won’t rest and my body won’t
relax, that I list my blessings. I enumerate how God has orchestrated my pains
and my gains, a little bit of good and a little bit of bad, the simple and the complex,
and the ups and the downs to get me where I am today. And God is so amazing
that many times I just sit and wonder.
Because it is in those midnight hours that I see how my experiences fit
like pieces of an intricate puzzle. And in those reflective moments, I realize
how each piece, some smooth and some jagged, was used to develop me, equip me
and strengthen me. And it is at those moments when I am all alone, sometimes
crying in desperation and sometimes crying in celebration, that I am the most
grateful.
Sometimes I am
grateful that things are going well and sometimes I am grateful that things are
not as bad as they could be. But nestled in my spirit is a song, an old hymn of
the church, called “It Is Well With My Soul”. I sing that song or I just dwell
on the meaning of the song and thankfully peace finds me. I don’t feel peaceful
immediately, but that song slowly penetrates my soul and reaches those hidden,
vulnerable crevices of my spirit to remind me that indeed “It Is Well With My Soul”. It is at those quiet meditative moments when
I feel most grateful.
But it has been at those times when I felt the most
aggravated that I really experienced my full potential as a mother, daughter,
minister, business owner, professional and person. It was at those most
emotionally demanding times that I was able to use frustration as fuel to
create new options, develop innovative approaches, generate new revenue, form strategic
alliances, seek wiser counsel and most importantly, pray. It was at those times
when I was at my most vulnerable places that I reached out, reached in and
reached up for strength to handle situations and circumstances that were
painful, complicated, baffling and life-threatening. It was hard, God knows it was hard, and some
issues have yet to be resolved. But I am so grateful that I was agitated,
and frequently so, because it forced me to see my potential, nurture my resilience,
forgive others, forgive myself and to love differently, not always more deeply,
but differently.
I am grateful that God used agitation as a catalyst and
clarifier in my life. I am grateful that God shook the proverbial nest and forced
me to fly, albeit sometimes reluctantly. I grateful that I was forced out my
comfort zone and into my genius zone which allowed me to get a glimpse of what God could do if I
would open my head, my heart and my hand
to new possibilities and to new options. I am grateful that I was
agitated and fired up to be the best SharRon I could be. I am grateful!
I am also grateful for the inspiration that God sent me
through other amazing people. God is so God that God always sent me
encouragement just when I needed it most. God sent me the right song at the
right time to soothe me. God sent me the right friends at the right time to
encourage and me. God lead people to send cards, letters, text messages and
email messages that supported me. Even during the tough times, and there were
many, I was encouraged, motivated, calmed, comforted, fortified and urged to
do, to be, to go, to say and to try. I was blessed by poems, pictures, proverbs,
pasta and pats on the back. All acts of
kindness were instrumental in healing my heart when it was broken, lifting my
spirit when it was low, filling my stomach when it was empty and strengthening
my soul when it was weak. I was
blessed! Thank you. I am grateful!
I am grateful for affirmation. Let’s face it – it is a
wonderful feeling when people affirm you, your gifts, your calling and your
vision because we all desire to be noticed, appreciated and valued even if we
don’t admit it. And even though public
affirmation is not the “be-all, in-all”, it does feel good. It feels good to be
affirmed by your peers, family members, colleagues and co-laborers. It feels
amazing to have your talent respected, lauded and applauded. It feels good when
people take the time to express respect for what you do and for who you are. It is feels good because affirmation is more
than a compliment. It is one of the highest expressions of gratitude because it is a way of telling people thank you for
just being you, thank you for your contributions, thank you for sharing
yourself with the world, thank you for your inner beauty and thank you for
walking in your purpose. Affirmations are powerful and life-giving; they are salve for the human soul.
I am grateful for all of you who have affirmed my work and
affirmed my very existence. You have encouraged me to step more out on faith, to
speak more of my truth, to celebrate more of who I am and to live authentically
as I can – flaws, failures, faults and all. You created, supported and
fortified a space where I can be vulnerable, transparent, wrong and silly
without judgment and ridicule. This
adage is so true for me: only free people can free people. You were free and
you allowed me to be free. Thank you! I am grateful!
Blessings!
No comments:
Post a Comment