Dakerri & Sondra
Barber-Rhone
Nashville, Tn.
How long have you been
together? Dakerri
& Sondra:
We’ve been together since March 7, 2003.
We were married in Washington DC on September 14, 2012.
Congrats! Tell me, how did you get together/meet? Dakerri & Sondra: It seems strange to us now, but we actually met online. We met on a website called collegeclub.com which isn’t even in existence anymore, but back then it was the place to be for college students.
When you met her, what was the initial attraction? Dakerri: I hadn’t seen any pictures prior to meeting Sondra so I didn’t know what I was getting myself into or what to expect. I’d never dated a “soft-stud” before. From our phone conversations she didn’t sound like what I was used to hearing from studs. She has an ultra-feminine, very sexy voice. When we did meet I was instantly attracted to her. She was beautiful. She had all the “swagger” of a stud, but embraced her femininity as well.
Sondra: I have a running joke about me being”catfished” by her. For those unfamiliar with the show Catfish, it’s about online dating and one of the parties fibs about who they are. Dakerri scanned her high school senior picture where her complexion was much darker due to it being taken in the summer months and she was wearing her natural hair. When we agreed to meet up at a gas station close to my college, there stood this lighter complexion woman with long hair smiling this big beautiful yet warming smile. At first I was unsure if she was the girl from the picture, but I eventually realized that I was staring at my future. In other words, I was very attracted to her; even more so in person.
***Interviewer Moment: I just loved how you said that you were staring at your future…. J
12 years is a long time,
espcailly since you started so young. What would you say is the key to the
success of your relationship? Dakerri: Compromise/Consideration – We take the
other into consideration with anything that we do or say. Sondra: I agree with Dakerri and
also say communication and trust. No
relationship can withstand without that.
Over
the years, how have you learned to deal with adversity? How do you deal with
and face challenges that might come up in your relationship? Sondra: Honestly I take challenges as they
arise. I believe in taking things day by
day and work them out thoughtfully when they occur. Dakerri: We keep our personal
business between just us. We keep open
communication and try to think outside our “box” to understand why the other
feels the way they do.
What role does spirituality play in your relationship? Dakerri: I was baptized at 10 and grew up in church, but we’ve both realized over time that we are not big on organized religion. We are very spiritual. We both pray, but we focus on our own personal relationship with God. Sondra: Spirituality plays a major part in our relationship. We both pray and believe in God and that we were created in his image. We however have both agreed that organized religion is not something that we would like to continue attending. With so much backlash from a vast majority of the Christian community, we prefer a more intimate relationship with God.
What role does sensuality
play in your relationship? Dakerri: Sensuality plays a big role. The art of touching, not always in a sexual
manner and mind stimulation. Sondra: Sensuality plays a very big role in
our relationship. We are sensual with
each other as humanly possible physically and mentally, majority of the time
privately. We are not too fond of PDA.
After
12 years together, I believe that couples can benefit from your success. What
advice would you give other couples? Sondra:
Communicate, communicate, communicate!
The biggest mistake that I see most people make in relationships is not
communicating with their partners.
Instead they go online and vent to the World Wide Web, to friends, past
lovers, etc. which just opens the door to even more issues. This was something even I had to learn over
time in our relationship. Dakerri and I
talk about any and everything and continue to encourage each other to keep our
business between us.
Dakerri: Advice I’d give to other couples is be considerate of the other. A relationship is a partnership and one must remember that. You have to make decisions that benefit you both. Also pick your battles. With two people, two personalities, two ways of thinking, there are going to be things you don’t see eye to eye on. Every disagreement should not be a huge blow out. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and take one for the team.
Dakerri: Advice I’d give to other couples is be considerate of the other. A relationship is a partnership and one must remember that. You have to make decisions that benefit you both. Also pick your battles. With two people, two personalities, two ways of thinking, there are going to be things you don’t see eye to eye on. Every disagreement should not be a huge blow out. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and take one for the team.
When you think about loving her, what did you have to learn and un-learn to love her fully? Dakerri: I’m going to have to go back to my answer to #8 and say pick my battles. We got together at such a young age and were both hot headed. Over the years we’ve learned how to deal with issues that arise and we have far less disagreements. This has brought such closeness and understanding to our relationship.
Sondra: When I met Dakerri I was still living in the closet and lived what I considered a double life. I was a stud at night and fem by day. I had to un-learn that being homosexual was wrong. She didn’t know at the time, but she helped me find myself and seeing how carefree she was helped me.
What has your relationship taught you most about yourself? Sondra: That I can be in one and be absolutely happy! That one person is amazing enough to deal with a handful (me) and in the same token make me the happiest person in the universe. Dakerri: That I am strong. With my wife by my side I know I can face anything. I used to be very shy and not assertive at all. She taught me it was ok to say no. She has helped me to find my inner strength.
When you think about loving her, what 1 word most captures her essence and your love? Dakerri: Sincerity. Sondra: Consideration.
You can find more information about this wonderful couple at: YouTube channel Two Mom Diaries. It's www.youtube.com/2momdiaries
We thank you for sharing your love with us at Create Love! Your story will encourage, inspire and uplift other couples. We wish you continued success and happiness.www.createloveforwomen.com
Create Love Founders
Imani Evans and SharRon Jamison
These are my friends. They may not realize it but they inspire me as a friend, mother and a partner to my own other half. I am so proud of and for them and only hope I can see twelve more years with the one I have today. xoxox
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