Monday, September 3, 2012

Consistency and Care

(photo from

I hope you enjoyed Atlanta Pride. I did. It was wonderful to see couples dancing, hugging, kissing and holding hands. It was fun watching couples laugh and smile. I witnessed women proudly introduce their new boo to old friends and acquaintances. It was a joy to see. But at the same time, I wondered do these same couples dance at home while making their own music.  Are they equally affectionate at home or do their reserve their hugs and kisses for public events? I wondered are their smiles just as bright in the presence of one, or if a group is required to evoke such emotion. I pondered if they held each other inside their homes, or if holding and holding hands were reserved for group occasions. 

My questioning may appear somewhat cynical, but my questions highlight some unfortunate truths. As a relationship coach, couples frequently reveal that their partners are more affectionate and demonstrative in public than they are at home. Why is that? That seems backwards to me. Why do some of us wait for an audience to show our love, attraction and regard for our partners? Are our displays an attempt to mark our territory so that potential suitors know that our beloved is off the market? Are our displays an attempt to show others or convince ourselves that we are in love?

Couples that report higher scores of satisfaction are couples that feel that their partners are consistent in most areas of their lives. So, are you consistently affectionate inside and outside the home? Do you consistently listen to your partner when you are stressed and not stressed? Do you compliment your partner when they are looking just ok or only when they are looking extremely ravishing? Do you tell your partner that you love them daily or only after they do something nice for you?  Are you attentive when you feel like it and also when you don’t? Are you consistent?

There is a saying that “consistent care prevents wear and tear”. Just something to think about consistently when you are blessed to have a partner, boo, spouse, wife, and lover. Consistency and consistent care may mean the difference between have a good relationship and having a great relationship. Just a thought…….by SharRon Jamison

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