The Truth About Authenticity
Authenticity is an amalgamation of personal elements, composed
of compassion, vulnerability and honesty.
Now let’s break it down into bite-sized pieces of awareness:
Compassion
and Authenticity
Authenticity without compassion breeds contempt. Your “truth” (which is simply an interpretation of facts filtered through a
psychological schema) must take into consideration the heart, soul and being
of others. This in no way means that
being authentic will avoid hurt feelings.
Hurt feelings are an inevitable part of living life on life’s
terms. However, treating others with
grace and respect honors our sense of humanity, even in the face of emotional
pain. To that end, what we often perceive
as emotional pain and hurt is God’s way of redirecting our attention back to Divine
purpose. When our ego convinces us that being
inauthentic is a way to protect another’s feelings then we may be getting in
the way of God’s plan…And all I can say is good luck with that!
Vulnerability
and Authenticity
Vulnerability is the biggie.
It is the piece that usually stumps those who have not done the personal
work to heal their emotional baggage. It
requires you to have a good sense of self and self-image. However, authenticity without vulnerability
lends itself to the desires of the ego. And, oh my, what an untamed beast the
ego can be when left to run amok! The ability to be vulnerable means freedom
from the primal needs of the ego. You
can speak your truth without being affected by someone else’s image of
you. Thus, your locus of validation must
be internal in order to fuse vulnerability with authenticity. But it is essential if your intention is to
speak a truth from your heart, without blame or judgment. For example, it is easier to extend forgiveness when you are
vulnerable enough to recognize all the ways in which you need to be forgiven.
Vulnerability affords us all an opportunity to sift through
our own painful stories, or joy for that matter. We are then able to see where our stuff
ends and the other person’s begins. It
is a heart-centered place to be and it takes real courage to live in that
emotional position.
Honesty and
Authenticity
Honesty is the foundation for authenticity. It is required, or you have to forgo even
calling it authenticity. My new favorite
quotes come from longtime empowerment coach, Iyanla Vanzant. On her new show, Iyanla Fix My Life, you can often hear her say, “Let’s call a thing
a thing people” and “Just tell the truth”.
Both phrases are more than appropriate for this element of
authenticity. So let’s keep it simple. Here is the secret to honesty…Just be willing
to tell the truth.
It is imperative that you decide where your integrity begins and ends. It is not always easy to do…I said simple,
not necessarily easy. But the people
around you deserve your honesty. You deserve your honesty. I am going to dare to say that it isn't always honesty with others that we grapple with. It is actually being honest with ourselves
that poses the real challenge. We have
to stop lying to ourselves, first and foremost.
Stop people pleasing and tell the truth.
Stop living in denial because wherever you go there you are, and you cannot
run from the universal consciousness, so tell the truth. Stop living in shame because of things that
you did when you didn't know any better and just tell the truth. There is no need to worry about how others
will perceive you. Remember they are
simply filtering their perceptions through their own schema. Instead focus on living with the person you
see in the mirror every day.
Final
Thoughts on Authenticity
Now, imagine how much richer our relationships would be with
authenticity. Communication, compromise,
love and even sex would be better. Yes,
it is true…I promise! I wish you well on your journey to deeper love through
authenticity. Namaste
Nya Akoma,
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