I am learning that destruction and decay are sometimes inside jobs. When you consider why some successful businesses fail, sometimes it is not the changing marketplace. Sometimes it is the declining morale that results from a toxic climate poisoned by nepotism, sexism, racism, ageism, favoritism and cronyism that pollutes the corporate atmosphere. Sometimes it is the company’s exclusive focus on glory and greed that erodes the public’s confidence; pride and avarice have a way of contaminating the best organizations. Sometimes it is the company’s inhumane treatment and its lack of concern for its workers, suppliers, distributors, customers and the environment that slowly taints its corporate image. I am learning that many times it is not what happens on the outside that prevents success; it is what happens on the inside. Why? Because sometimes destruction and decay are inside jobs!
The same thing can be said about churches. Many times it is not the non-believers or the outsiders who destroy or malign the church and the image of Christianity. Many times is the “super saints” that demoralize new members, distort the Bible, teach biased theology, follow flawed doctrine, promote hate and pimp the gospel that hurts the church. Sometimes it is the “I am the only one going to heaven” believers with their puffed up displays of piety and their insistence on “there is only one way to do church” type of spirituality that discourages new converts. Many times it is the churches refusal to address inequality, discrimination, sexism, racism, homophobia while at the same time proudly wear badges, buttons and shirts lettered with the phrase “What will Jesus do” that causes others to stray and to stay away. Many times it is the old members, seasoned saints, or the Christian conservative elites who feel as if they own the market on Jesus that make people run away from God. Many times it is the people who feel as if they are the gatekeepers of religiosity and the purveyors of holiness that cripple Christianity. Many times it is the “holier than thou” people who believe that they have to protect God as if God needs protection. Remember, God is omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent. God does not need us; we need God. Again, I am learning that many times it is not what happens on the outside that hurts Christianity or any faith tradition; it is what happens on the inside. Why? Because sometimes destruction and decay are inside jobs!
The same is true about some of our families. Many times it is not the haters, naysayers or enemies who hurt us. Sometimes it is our friends/families that share our secrets, exploit our weaknesses and broadcast our failures. Sometimes it is our families/friends who “sale” us out, throw us out, cuss us out and leave it out. Sometimes it is the people closest to us that hurt us the most but help us the least. Sometimes our families are the ones who prey on us rather than pray with and for us that injure us in our most fragile places. Sometimes it is our families/friends who are the ones that deceive us, discard us, deny us and disappoint us but at the same time expect us to show up, grow up, give up, and shut up. Again, I am learning that many times it is not what happens on the outside that destroys our families; sometimes it is what happens on the inside. Why? Because sometimes destruction and decay are inside jobs!
The same is true about our love relationships. Many times it is not that other people don’t respect our relationships; sometimes is that we don’t respect own. Sometimes it is that we don’t honor ourselves, our commitments or the sanctity of our own bonds which cheapen our own partnerships. Sometimes it is not that others are not respecting our relationship boundaries; sometimes it is you and me who are unilaterally extending our own. Sometimes it is not that you and your partner are not talking, but sometimes it is that you both are really not listening. Sometimes it is not that we are not sexually tempted by other people, sometimes it is that we don’t exercise good self-control, good judgment or respect for ourselves or for our partners. Sometimes it is not that we work too much, sometimes it is that you don’t work enough. Sometimes it is not that she keeps changing; sometimes it is that you refuse to learn, evolve and grow too. Sometimes it is not that you are concerned about her, sometimes it is that you are not concerned in a way that encourages you to understand who she is and who she aspires to be. Sometimes it is not that her dreams are too big, maybe it is that your dreams are too small or that you don’t dream enough. Sometimes it is not that she doesn’t make you happy, sometimes it is that you refuse to go get, keep and work on your own “happy”. Again, I am learning that many times it is not what happens on the outside that destroys love, marriages and partnerships; it is what happens on the inside. Why? Because destruction and decay are sometimes inside jobs.
So I am now convinced that I must look IN before I look OUT when things go awry. IN!!!! Because many times it is not what happens on the outside that blocks success and prevent happiness; it is what happens on the inside. Why? Because sometimes destruction and decay are inside jobs!
Blessings!
SharRon Jamison
www.createloveforwomen.com
www.icandependonme-sharronjamison.com
www.sharronjamison.com
SharRoneJamison@gmail.com
